6 min read · Jun 7, 2018
Femininity isn’t a weakness in business. It’s a strength. Sure, it can feel scary to embrace certain feminine traits in the workplace because you fear that you won’t be taken seriously or you’ll be perceived as too weak, too nice or too soft. In fact, that’s why many people suppress their most feminine traits at work.
However, the opposite is true: If you learn to tap into your innately feminine traits rather than shy away from them, you can use them to your advantage to become a highly-effective and inspirational leader.
What types of traditionally-feminine traits will help you get ahead? Here are a few that I’ve employed in my years leading high-performing teams — and now coach my clients to embrace as well.
1. INTUITION
More often than not, we know what to do but don’t take action. That’s where intuition comes in: Embracing it allows you to welcome solutions that come to you naturally. (Usually the simplest ones are the best ones, as I’m sure you’ve figured out!) It also helps you make clear choices and take calculated risks based on your gut. For me, I call my intuition my “Spidey sense” and rely on it to detect problems and issues that aren’t being said within my team, organization or one-on-one with clients. Intuition is like a superpower — don’t be afraid to leverage it.
2. EMPATHY
People who want to be around people who care. Period. Seek to understand others at their core — like how someone feels, what makes them tick, the challenges they may be going through, the struggles they have endured — and you can create compassionate solutions. Developing these deep connections and strong partnerships with both colleagues and clients will also make you more impactful: People respond to genuine relationships, a true value when it comes to pushing business initiatives forward and generating high-performing people.
3. SENSITIVITY
Similar to empathy, being sensitive enables you to care. And, it can influence the communication aspect of a relationship, like how you choose your timing and tone when dealing with others. Ultimately, the more sensitive you are to how others feel, the more trust you will build. The more trust you build, the stronger the connections you have. The stronger connections you have, the more you can accomplish.
4. CHARM
When you need to mobilize stakeholders, a little charm goes a long way. The good thing is that charm can come in many forms, like humor, wit, creativity or insight. My tip is get to know what inspires and interests someone you’re working with, and then pepper those things into conversations. (Like finding out someone just read a new book, and mentioning that before diving into a detailed conversation.) The truth is that charm leads to influence, and that will help you rally your team and stakeholders — even the most resistant ones.
5. COLLABORATION
Greatness rarely happens in silos. Luckily, human beings are innately wired to connect and share with others. If you can identify the right people to connect with and establish genuine relationships, you’ll have a better chance of creating great work. Plus, collaboration enables you to build your own tribe in the office who can serve as a sounding board when you’re doubting yourself, experiencing challenges or need some advice. Ready to take this one step further? Make sure you create relationships outside your team. Those who can work together cross-functionally to create new products or solve company challenges create opportunities to be recognized for their leadership.
6. VULNERABILITY
Being strong doesn’t mean you can’t be vulnerable. Sure, I know that there is fear associated with letting your guard down: Will I be respected? Will I be taken seriously? Will I be rejected? (I’ve felt this myself.) That’s why we put up walls to protect ourselves and insinuate perfection. But perfection is not real, nor attainable, and when someone positions themselves that way, it’s unappealing. However, owning your vulnerability — showing that you’re human and resilient by discussing your feelings, admitting mistakes, asking for help and articulating areas in which you need to grow — is the deepest way to connect with others. By being so open and honest, you’ll enable people to see your inner strength and courage.
7. NURTURING
Great work takes nurturing. How can you prove you’re a nurturer? Believe in and stand up for your employees. Your team wants a leader who is going to go to bat for them, nurture and protect them. For example, if someone has done something unjust to one of your team members and you address it, you create a culture where people feel safe, valued and respected, which leads to higher productivity and performance. Standing up for what’s right will make you an office hero, which always seem to be in rare supply.
8. STYLE
Everyone has a story and style is a way to bring your personal story to life. Your style lets people know who you are, what you stand for and even gives a sense of your personality and interests. Plus, when you define and own your style, you’re going to feel more comfortable with yourself. When you feel comfortable, you look confident: You look people in the eyes, you sit up straight in your chair, you walk proudly into a meeting and you do your best work. (On the other hand, when your outfit choices don’t align with who you really are, your self-esteem, confidence and overall leadership presence start to erode.) Style also affects how you’re perceived. It’s a way to reflect your goals, ambition and success, as your image can affect whether you receive raises, promotions, perks, respect, opportunities, access or leadership roles. Everyone makes an impression when they walk in the room, your style is your opportunity to influence it.
9. SELF-AWARENESS
You need to be in tune with the essence of who you are and how you show up in the world in order to effectively connect, communicate and collaborate with others. That’s why, when I coach leaders, I spend time helping them define and embody their values, strengths, passions, aspirations and personal style. And once you do discover this self-awareness, then you’re able to better understand what someone else needs, align on a common mission and be of service. (A great example: If you’re presenting in a meeting, and you are self-aware enough to notice when people are disengaging, you can shift your agenda on the spot to create a more dynamic experience for the attendees.) Ultimately, being self-aware means operating with purpose and intention, which will always lead to making a bigger impact.
10. KINDNESS
They say kindness is contagious, and it’s true: People want to work for those who are kind. By kind, I mean being generous with your work, ideas and time. This is especially important on a regular basis, but especially during challenging situations. Being kind amidst adversity — as opposed to reactive, defensive and impatient — shows confidence, composure, thoughtfulness and optimism, as well as creates a sense of calm for your team. And kindness begets kindness, the kinder you are to others, the kinder they’ll be to you in return. That said, you can be kind while still being firm: Tough news delivered in a calm and kind way is going to be received far better than when someone who is rude or disrespectful. Plus, you’ll never look back and regret that you were too kind to someone.
The more you learn to own your innate feminine traits, the stronger you’ll become as a leader. And the more we all do this, the more we can shift company culture and create a new paradigm for leadership at work.
So, embrace your femininity fully — it’s time you let your feminine traits help you get ahead.
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