10 Ways to Know if a Hug Is Romantic - wikiHow (2024)

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IN THIS ARTICLE

1Approach

2Body language

3Pressure

4Length and timing

5Hand position

6Arm placement

7Hand movements

8Body contact

9Situation

10Frequency

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Co-authored byImad Jbaraand Amber Crain

Last Updated: October 18, 2022References

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Hugs can be so ambiguous! If you received a hug from someone and you're wondering what it meant, we can help you figure it out. Since you can't usually judge someone's feelings based on a single element, like how long the hug lasted or when it occurred, we've put together a full range of possibilities for you to consider.

1

Approach

  1. Hugs from behind are usually romantic. A hug from behind is a really familiar gesture between two people who trust each other a lot. If you received this kind of hug from someone, you're probably already pretty close to them and reasonably sure there are romantic feelings there.[1]

    • If they approached you from the side and put one arm around your waist, this is definitely a "buddy hug." This kind of hug can be really sweet, but it doesn't indicate romantic feelings.[2]
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2

Body language

  1. Were they rigid or did their body melt into yours?[3] A stiff or rigid hug is probably neutral. If they were stiff and there was an all-around awkward vibe the whole time, they may be uncomfortable with hugging, or they may have felt obligated to hug you because everyone else was hugging.

    • You can’t judge based on smiling alone, but the bigger the smile, the happier the other person is to see you. If the smiling continues well after the hug, they definitely feel affection for you, but it could be friendly or romantic.[4]
    • Little or no eye contact usually means there aren’t romantic feelings.

3

Pressure

  1. The tighter the squeeze, the more affection the person has for you.[5] The affection can be friendly or romantic, though, so it’s probably best not to judge based on on pressure alone. The exception is if they gave you a super limp or loose hug, since that usually implies neutral feelings rather than romantic ones.[6]

    • Consider how much space was between your bodies. Did they press their body against yours? If so, they might have romantic feelings for you. If they pressed their hips or pelvis against yours, they’re almost certainly into you.[7]
    • A loose or rigid hug is a little different than a gentle hug. A warm, gentle could be a sign of tenderness or friendship.[8]
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4

Length and timing

  1. A quick squeeze is usually platonic. The longer the hug lasts, the more likely it is that they have romantic feelings for you.[9] Take timing into account, too. Friends often give each other hugs as greetings or when they part. If you’re in the middle of hanging out and the person reaches out to hug you, even just as a quick gesture, that’s usually more significant and could mean they're into you.[10]

    • Friends usually hug to greet each other and to say goodbye, so you can’t really consider one of these hugs to be romantic.

5

Hand position

  1. Generally, the lower the hands, the higher the physical attraction.[11] If their arms encircle your waist and they press their hands against your lower back, that might be a romantic hug—especially if they draw your lower body in closer to theirs. It’s harder to tell if they press their hands against your upper back, though, since friends often do that.[12]

    • If they touch your butt or stroke your hair, they’re probably into you!
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6

Arm placement

  1. Did they use one or both arms to hug you? One arm around the neck or shoulder is usually a buddy hug. If they put both arms around your neck, consider other stuff like how tightly they squeezed you and what other body parts where touching during the hug. If they came in under your armpits and put both arms around your upper body, that’s pretty friendly.[13]

    • On the other hand, putting both arms around your waist and pulling you closer can definitely indicate romantic feelings.[14]

7

Hand movements

  1. Circular back rubs are more affectionate while patting is pretty neutral. It’s hard to judge on hand movements alone, but the back pat is usually reserved for friends, especially if they pat your back quickly once or twice.[15] Slow circles or gentle caresses on your upper or lower back usually indicate there’s some romantic or sexual interest there.[16]

    • A lot of back patting usually means they’re consoling you or feel sad for you for some reason. It generally doesn’t indicate romantic feelings.[17]
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8

Body contact

  1. If only your upper body parts touch, the hug is probably neutral. If your upper bodies and chests touch, that's usually a friendly hug. If your chests and pelvises touch during the hug, though, there's probably some sexual attraction there![18]

    • It’s a little harder to tell if they give you a full-frontal hug and press their cheek to yours. The cheek press implies that you’re close to each other, but it can be a friendly gesture if you haven’t seen your friend in a long time.

9

Situation

  1. Hugging at special events is pretty normal for friends. Special events can be happy (like a graduation) or sad (like a funeral), but either way, friends usually hug each other at these times. You can also tell by looking to see what everyone else is doing—if everyone is hugging at the event, don't assume the person has romantic feelings for you.[19]

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10

Frequency

  1. Have you hugged this person recently? If you just saw them yesterday and they hugged you then, too, it's more likely that they have feelings for you. It's harder to tell if it’s been a while since you've seen them, though. A friend might give you a big, platonic bear hug if they haven't seen you in a while.[20]

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  • Question

    How long is a romantic hug?

    10 Ways to Know if a Hug Is Romantic - wikiHow (13)

    Imad Jbara
    Dating Coach

    Imad Jbara is a Dating Coach for NYC Wingwoman LLC, a relationship coaching service based in New York City. 'NYC Wingwoman' offers matchmaking, wingwoman services, 1-on-1 Coaching, and intensive weekend bootcamps. Imad services 100+ clients, men and women, to improve their dating lives through authentic communication skills. He has a BA in Psychology from the University of Massachusetts Dartmouth.

    10 Ways to Know if a Hug Is Romantic - wikiHow (14)

    Dating Coach

    Expert Answer

    There isn't an exact time estimate, but romantic hugs definitely last a bit longer than your standard hug.

    Thanks! We're glad this was helpful.
    Thank you for your feedback.
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  • Question

    Can you feel romance through a hug?

    10 Ways to Know if a Hug Is Romantic - wikiHow (15)

    Imad Jbara
    Dating Coach

    Imad Jbara is a Dating Coach for NYC Wingwoman LLC, a relationship coaching service based in New York City. 'NYC Wingwoman' offers matchmaking, wingwoman services, 1-on-1 Coaching, and intensive weekend bootcamps. Imad services 100+ clients, men and women, to improve their dating lives through authentic communication skills. He has a BA in Psychology from the University of Massachusetts Dartmouth.

    10 Ways to Know if a Hug Is Romantic - wikiHow (16)

    Dating Coach

    Expert Answer

    Definitely! You can feel the immediate tension and chemistry in a romantic hug.

    Thanks! We're glad this was helpful.
    Thank you for your feedback.
    As a small thank you, we’d like to offer you a $30 gift card (valid at GoNift.com). Use it to try out great new products and services nationwide without paying full price—wine, food delivery, clothing and more. Enjoy!Claim Your GiftIf wikiHow has helped you, please consider a small contribution to support us in helping more readers like you. We’re committed to providing the world with free how-to resources, and even $1 helps us in our mission.Support wikiHow

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      About This Article

      10 Ways to Know if a Hug Is Romantic - wikiHow (17)

      Co-authored by:

      Dating Coach

      This article was co-authored by Imad Jbara and by wikiHow staff writer, Amber Crain. Imad Jbara is a Dating Coach for NYC Wingwoman LLC, a relationship coaching service based in New York City. 'NYC Wingwoman' offers matchmaking, wingwoman services, 1-on-1 Coaching, and intensive weekend bootcamps. Imad services 100+ clients, men and women, to improve their dating lives through authentic communication skills. He has a BA in Psychology from the University of Massachusetts Dartmouth. This article has been viewed 174,508 times.

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      10 Ways to Know if a Hug Is Romantic - wikiHow (2024)

      FAQs

      How do you tell if it was a romantic hug? ›

      A romantic hug includes a lot of closeness and touching. This hug would include, not a pat on the back, but a rub. This may also be a lower touch than would be appropriate for a platonic friendship. Also, during a romantic hug, your faces usually press together.

      Is hugging a form of flirting? ›

      Physical flirting involves using touch or body language to express attraction and create a sense of intimacy. Examples include playful touches, hugs, or leaning in closer during conversations. This form of flirting can be very effective when used appropriately and with respect for boundaries.

      Which hug is more intimate? ›

      A close, full-body embrace, with eye contact--that's what an Intimate Hug is. The eye contact takes this type of hug to a new level, because it is clearly about more than just physical touch. If you are experiencing hugs like these, it means you really have something special going on.

      How to satisfy a girl with hug? ›

      Place one arm under her armpit, in the lower half of her ribcage. Put your other hand on the general area of her shoulder blade. As the hug deepens, you can hold her waist or wrap both arms around the small of her back. Alternately, hug her from behind.

      How do you know if a hug is romantic or platonic? ›

      Closeness

      Increased physical closeness (think: hip touching, using both arms to hug, etc) is also an indicator of romantic interest. "A hug is likely to be romantic rather than platonic if your bodies are pressed against one another," notes relationship coach Callisto Adams, Ph.

      Can you feel a connection with a hug? ›

      Hugging causes the brain to release oxytocin, the hormone that increases human bonding. Here's why it's so important. The oxytocin released by hugging increases trust, loyalty and feelings of closeness, which is why physical contact in relationships is so important.

      What kind of hugs are romantic? ›

      A romantic hug is usually tighter, so you might notice them squeezing you more. Additionally, they might hold the hug a little longer than usual. You could also feel chemistry between you and the person.

      What type of hug means she likes you? ›

      #10 The side-by-side hug.

      She will wrap her arms around your waist or an arm around your arm. This means she likes you or she's comfortable around you. In fact, so much that she wants to stay close to you wherever you guys go. It's also a way for her to tell the world, “This guy is mine.”

      Where do you touch a guy when hugging? ›

      7 pleasure spots every guy wants you to touch
      • 01/8​7 pleasure spots every guy wants you to touch. <p>Ladies, here's how you can step up your game of seduction to next level! ...
      • 02/8Nape. ...
      • 03/8​Back of the ears. ...
      • 04/8​Butt. ...
      • 05/8​Inner thighs. ...
      • 06/8​Perineum. ...
      • 07/8​Nipples. ...
      • 08/8​Feet.
      Jun 1, 2023

      How do you know if someone wants to hug you? ›

      People who are natural huggers and/or who feel friendly toward you will often prefer to greet you with a hug instead of a handshake. When someone wants to hug, they will approach you with their arms open and their torso facing you in preparation for the embrace.

      Which hug do guys prefer? ›

      You can put both arms around his neck and keep one palm gently on the nape of his neck. If your arms are around his neck, run your fingers softly through the hair at the base of his neck. If your arms are around his torso, rub his back gently. A behind-the-back hug can also be a good way to hug a guy hello.

      Where do you touch a girl to flirt? ›

      Put your hands around her waist from behind.

      Touch her gently so you don't startle her. If you two get really comfortable she might even let you slide your hand down a little lower. Once she's comfortable with you putting your hands on her waist, grab her and swing her around. Then, she'll be facing you.

      How do you touch a girl gently? ›

      Give her a light and casual touch.

      Brush your arm up against hers, place your hand on the small of her back, or just pass her a pen or a notebook and let your hands linger near each other's.

      How do you hug a flirty way? ›

      To add an extra romantic touch, nuzzle your head or even your face into the head/neck of the other person (or chest, if you're much shorter than the person you're hugging). Squeeze and hold. A romantic hug lasts longer than a platonic hug. Gently clutch a little tighter for two or three seconds.

      What does a love hug feel like? ›

      Hugging often creates a feeling of calmness and relaxation. That's because of oxytocin, which is sometimes called the "cuddle hormone." Oxytocin is released when people or pets snuggle up or bond socially. This release can have a domino effect throughout the body and has been found to: Reduce inflammation.

      How do guys hug a girl they like? ›

      Make quick, casual contact.

      Lean in, bending from your waist. The idea here is not full-body contact, which is a much more intimate and personal hug. Wrap one arm around her arm and place your hand in-between her shoulder blades. Wrap your other arm around her and place your hand below your first hand.

      What does patting during a hug mean? ›

      Brief hug, often upper-body only, with patting of shoulders or back. Possibly no eye contact. Back pats are friendly but may be indicator of limited affection. In a longer hug, a back pat signals a desire to end the hug. No eye contact says 'I'm being polite but don't really care.

      When a hug feels good? ›

      Hugs release oxytocin

      Oxytocin is often called the “love hormone,” and it's released when we cuddle or bond. It's the reason why being hugged feels so good. So when you're feeling down, give someone a squeeze and feel your mood lift.

      Why does hugging a girl feel good? ›

      Albers said there is a biological reaction to a hug. "There is a release of oxytocin. That is that feel-good chemical that when it's released, we feel bonded to those around us. There's also a decrease in cortisol, the stress hormone that pumps through our bodies when we feel stressed or overwhelmed," Albers said.

      How long should a hug last? ›

      Psychologists in London claim they have cracked the code on the ideal embrace, saying hugs should last between five and 10 seconds. According to researchers at Goldsmiths university, longer hugs were found to provide an immediate pleasure boost compared to shorter ones (lasting just one second).

      What happens to a girl when you hug her? ›

      Oxytocin is a chemical in our bodies that scientists sometimes call the “cuddle hormone.” This is because its levels rise when we hug, touch, or sit close to someone else. Oxytocin is associated with happiness and less stress. Scientists have found that this hormone has a strong effect in women.

      Why do I crave hugs? ›

      Being hugged uplifts our mood. If you are feeling isolated or are going through a rough time, a hug releases endorphins. Endorphins are the body's natural pain relievers. These neurotransmitters increase our feelings of pleasure.

      Does a hug mean a guy likes you? ›

      He's being affectionate.

      Whether you're platonic pals or something more, he could just want to show you he cares about you—nothing more to it! A hug could be his way to show he likes you and wants you to feel special. Actually, studies indicate that the more hugs we get a day, the happier we are.

      What kind of hugs do guys find intimate? ›

      The 'Grasp On Waist' Hug

      If you ask us, “what types of hugs do guys like the most, " here is your answer! This kind of intimate hug suggests that you share a very close bond with your partner where there is love, trust, and lots of romance. It is a beautiful way of spicing things between you and your partner.

      How do you know if a guy wants to touch you? ›

      He'll Touch You Back

      He might not touch back, but if he does, you've definitely got the green light. Men who are attracted to you might even engage in more touch. If a man actively tries to touch you during your interaction, it may mean he wants to get closer to you or close the distance between you two.

      When guys rub your lower back when hugging? ›

      This affectionate gesture signifies that your guy cares deeply about you. "The back is a very vulnerable part of the body," Wood says. "You can't see your back, so being touched there can be startling." Softly rubbing you on such an exposed zone shows that he wants to nurture and protect you.

      How do you touch a man emotionally? ›

      Touch his cheeks, his forearms, his inner thighs, the back of his wrists, his forehead, his bare knees, or even graze his lips with your hands. These are all classic erogenous zones that are sure to leave him titillated!

      When a man initiates a hug? ›

      He cares about you

      A guy can initiate a hug by gently stroking your back while holding you. The gesture is affectionate and signifies he cares about you.

      What do guys feel while hugging? ›

      And most likely we don't think much but just enjoy the feeling of being loved and given a chance to love them. Men think about how lucky they are to have the woman they are hugging, in their life. I love hugs!

      How do guys flirt physically? ›

      Men tend to show their affection through touch, and if he's flirting, he'll find any excuse to touch you: a light brush of the arm. tapping your shoulder. putting his hand on your knee.

      How to flirt without touching her? ›

      Ways to turn her on without touching her
      1. 01/7Turn her on without any physical contact... <p>Who says an intimate touch is the only thing that can turn on your lady love. ...
      2. 02/7​Cook for her. ...
      3. 03/7​A surprise text. ...
      4. 04/7​Use your scent. ...
      5. 05/7​Whisper it in her ears. ...
      6. 06/7​Sensation. ...
      7. 07/7​Go on a sex fast.
      Jul 4, 2017

      How to touch her without being creepy? ›

      Keep your touches light and short so she doesn't get uncomfortable. If you two have been having a fun conversation so far, feel free to gently touch her on the hand or on the forearm. Don't go any higher than that, and definitely don't try to grab her waist or anywhere on her torso.

      What does it mean when a girl gently touches you? ›

      Small touches and gestures can be a good sign that a woman likes you. If she playfully pats your arm or rubs against you while you are sitting down, it could mean she wants to be closer to you. She also might want to hug you or be open to an invitation to be hugged.

      What is a bro hug? ›

      New Word Suggestion. A combination of a handshake and one-armed hug-or more typically manly version of a hug usually done between two male friends.

      Can I hug my crush? ›

      Hugs are a great way to express affection. It shows that you care about a person and that you support that person through good times and bad. However, you want to hug your crush or your lover differently than you hug a friend or family member.

      How long should a romantic hug be? ›

      Psychologists in London claim they have cracked the code on the ideal embrace, saying hugs should last between five and 10 seconds. According to researchers at Goldsmiths university, longer hugs were found to provide an immediate pleasure boost compared to shorter ones (lasting just one second).

      What does a loving hug feel like? ›

      When we reach out, a chemical called oxytocin — also dubbed the “love hormone” — kicks in and makes us feel warm and fuzzy inside. The effects of a warm embrace can linger long after the hug: Oxytocin promotes feelings of trust, nurturing, and calm. A hug can even improve your physiological stability.

      How does a girl feel after a hug? ›

      Cuddling also provides happiness due to the release of the hormone oxytocin. When the girl cuddles up, there is a release of a chemical called oxytocin in the brain. The release of oxytocin makes you feel good because it is the love hormone.

      What does a passionate hug look like? ›

      Generally, the lower the hands, the higher the physical attraction. If their arms encircle your waist and they press their hands against your lower back, that might be a romantic hug—especially if they draw your lower body in closer to theirs.

      How long does a real hug last? ›

      “The average length of a hug between two people is three seconds, but researchers have discovered something fantastic. When a hug lasts 20 seconds, there is a therapeutic effect on the body and mind. The reason is that a sincere hug produces a hormone called oxytocin, also known as the love hormone.

      When a hug lasts longer? ›

      Hugging for Longer Periods of Time is Better for the Body

      When people hug for 20 seconds or more, the feel-good hormone oxytocin is released which creates a stronger bond and connection between the huggers. Oxytocin has been shown to boost the immune system and reduce stress.

      When a guy rubs your back while hugging you? ›

      This affectionate gesture signifies that your guy cares deeply about you. "The back is a very vulnerable part of the body," Wood says. "You can't see your back, so being touched there can be startling." Softly rubbing you on such an exposed zone shows that he wants to nurture and protect you.

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