18 signs your boss secretly has a crush on you (2024)

Has your boss been complimenting you more frequently? Have they been texting you on the weekend? Do they laugh at everyjoke you tell — even the lame ones?If you're nodding to all of the above, then they just might have feelings for you.

"It can be difficult to tell whether someone has a crush on you or if they're just being extremely nice,so I caution anyone in this dilemma to tread very carefully, as misinterpreting intentions could be embarrassing for both parties, and even career-damaging," saysMichael Kerr, an internationalbusiness speaker and author of "The Humor Advantage."

18 signs your boss secretly has a crush on you (1)

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But you should lookfor the signsthat it may be afull-on crush "because that could end up having extremely negative implications on your work," he says, and you'll want to do something about it before things getreallyawkward.

Here are 18 signs your boss may havea crush:

1. You have a gut feeling

Most people will give their managers the benefit of the doubt at first, but sometimes there's an inner voice telling you that something between you two feels awkward, says LynnTaylor, a national-workplace expert andleadership coachand the author of "Tame Your Terrible Office Tyrant."

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She says: "Gut instincts aren't whims. They're your subconscious on steroids. It's putting hundreds of facts together, with the ultimate result being an emotion or physical feeling — in this case, of discomfort or irritation. If you're unhappy or angry about the situation, you're right."

2. They flirt

"Carefully observe how the boss treats other colleagues before leaping to any conclusions," says Kerr. "They may be a very effusive, gregarious person who simply behaves that way with everyone because they're a people pleaser. And even if your boss flirts with you from time to time, again, consider how they are with other colleagues — they may be a naturally flirtatious person who really means no harm."

And also consider your own actions. Are they flirting with you simply because you've been a little flirtatious with them? Be very cautious when interpreting someone else's intentions behind their actions.

And if you determine that you're the only one they flirt with, and it's not a result of your behavior toward them, then this is a strong sign they're crushing on you.

3.They regularly schedule private or late-night meetings

If you're occasionally asked to stay beyond normal business hours and have a legitimate joint project to work on, that's one thing, says Taylor.

"But if you start seeing a pattern of being singled out, and the meetings are always running late — or there are too many unnecessary private meetings — then your boss may be trying to go beyond a professional scope," she says.

Keep in mind that if you're uncomfortable with these actions and you continue to comply with these requests, things will get worse.

4.They call or text you for no particular reason

Most managers have a heavy workload, so when they take the time just to call you randomly without a real reason to talk, then it can be a sign that they are thinking about you a bit more than they should be, says Kerr.

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5. Their body language is playful or sensual

Check their body language and eye contact. If you catch them stealing glances at you often or sustaining eye contact longer than is comfortable for you, then this could be a sign, Kerr says.

6. They give you preferential treatment

Yes, it could be simply because they respect you and trust your abilities, but if it crosses over into clear favoritism — for example, they offer you opportunities that you know in your heart you don't deserve — then it might be a sign then they like you a little too much, Kerr says.

Taylor agrees. "Love struck bosses may give you better projects; more mentoring time than your peers; take you to more lunches; offer you more flexible hours or other perks; be lax about your mistakes; or give you other special treatment. Sounds great? Well, unfortunately, favoritism in the workplace may not only lead to a disgruntled staff — it can result in a hostile work environment claim by other employees, and may lead to a court case."

7. They confide in you

Does your boss share work andpersonal confidences with you that you know they wouldn't share with anyone else in your office?

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"Yes, they may be doing this because they trust you, but it may also be because they want to deepen the relationship and sharing confidences is a proven way to do that," says Kerr.

8. You get overblown promises from them

A boss who has a romantic agenda may intrigue you with a seemingly exaggerated view of your great future at the company, Taylor warns.

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"It may be difficult to discern if your manager is just as encouraging with everyone," she says. "But when your job outlook seems suspiciously rosy, take pause ... and consider all the possible signs to get a realistic sense of their motivations."

9. They invite you to spend time together outside of work

It might just be a simple coffee after work, but if this happens in addition to other signs, then this could be a red flag, says Kerr.

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10. They suddenly change their appearance at work

New outfits, new haircuts, and more attention to detail might be because they're hoping to catch someone's eye at work, Kerr says. And it might be yours.

11.They value your opinion more than anyone else's

Again, this could just be that they value and trust you as an employee — but if they ask you for input on personal issues, such as clothing choices, or even dating issues, then this might be a sign.

"Asking you for advice on their own love life could be totally innocent, but it might also be a ploy to suss out how you really feel about them," Kerr warns.

12. They frequently offer compliments beyond work issues

If compliments are coming your way nonstop but they have nothing to do with work or start to sound inappropriate, then your boss may have more than a friendly affinity for you, Taylor says: "While sexual harassment training has exploded over the years, managers can still become lax. So watch for this sign."

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Compliments about your appearance, fashion sense, or amazing personality are especially strong indicators, adds Kerr: "Throwaway lines such as, 'Anyone would be lucky to have you,'may be signs they have a crush on you."

If these types of comments make you feel uncomfortable, speak to your HR department immediately.

13. They give you gifts

If everyone in the company receives a motivational mug on Valentine's Day that says, "We love our employees" embedded in a big read heart, that's wonderful. But it is not so endearing if your flirtatious boss secretly places Sweethearts candies on your desk, says Taylor.

14. They make physical contact

Some people are just very touchy-feely — but if you think that your boss goes out of his or her way to touch your knee or arm, or hugs you as often as possible, then they may behinting at something.

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Again, if this makes you uncomfortable, then you should tell someone.

15. They laugh a little too easily, and a little too long, at your jokes

Overly effusive laughter can sometimes be a great "crush barometer," Kerr says.

16. They remember everything you do or say

This may feel a bit creepy.

If your boss seems to remembereverythingyou tell them — when they're normally more forgetful — this could be a sign they are paying especially close attention to you.

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"People remember way more details about interactions with someone they have a crush on, partially because they've likely been obsessing about those details, looking for signs that you're interested," writes Beca Grimm for Bustle. "Remember last week when you were complaining about your new standing desk making your heels sore? You might not. But when someone else remembers, and sends along to a link for non-fatigue rugs and offers a discount through their office account? They're into you."

17. The blush whenever you're around

Does their face visibly change the moment you walk in the room? Do they get rosy cheeks or begin to perspire? There's a good chance this is happening because they're physically attracted to you.

18. They treat you like theydon't like you

Of course, this could mean they simply don'tlike you. But if your boss playfully teases or picks on you, it could be their way of flirting ... or a way to hide their admiration.

If the signs are all there, you'll want be decisive and tread carefully.

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To find out how to deal with a boss who may have a crush on you, click here.

18 signs your boss secretly has a crush on you (2024)

FAQs

How do you tell if your boss is secretly attracted to you? ›

Here are 20 telltale signs that your boss is infatuated with you.
  • You have a gut feeling. ...
  • They're flirty. ...
  • They're overly helpful. ...
  • They schedule private meetings after work. ...
  • They buy you gifts. ...
  • They make you transfer companies with them if they move. ...
  • They call or text you for no reason. ...
  • Their body language is playful.
Nov 7, 2022

How do you know if your boss sees potential in you? ›

Here are some of the most common signs your manager likes you:
  • They challenge you. ...
  • They trust you with key clients and assignments. ...
  • You feel respected. ...
  • They offer recognition of your work. ...
  • They ask you to help other employees. ...
  • They provide constructive criticism. ...
  • They value your opinion. ...
  • They let you make decisions.
Sep 29, 2023

Why does my boss stare at me intensely? ›

They might be assessing performance, establishing dominance, or offering non-verbal feedback. Understanding the context can shed light on the intent behind their gaze.

How do you discreetly flirt with your boss? ›

Work in a casual touch.
  1. Offer a handshake and a smile at the end of a meeting.
  2. Try a gentle, brief touch on the forearm or the shoulder when speaking with your boss.
  3. If your boss makes a joke, laugh and place your hand on her forearm. ...
  4. Avoid any overtly affectionate or sexual touching in the workplace.

Is my boss attracted to me or just nice? ›

Pay attention if your boss leans in closer to you, licks or brushes their lips, or smiles more often when they're around you. They may also glance more at your body or nod their head a lot while they're talking to show that they're interested in a deeper relationship with you.

How do you tell if your boss thinks you're attractive? ›

Here are 17 red flags:
  1. You have a gut feeling. ...
  2. They flirt. ...
  3. They regularly schedule private or late-night meetings. ...
  4. They call or text you for no particular reason. ...
  5. Their body language is playful or sensual. ...
  6. They give you preferential treatment. ...
  7. They confide in you. ...
  8. You get overblown promises from them.
Feb 14, 2017

How do you know if your boss is infatuated with you? ›

The same is true of bosses; if your boss is interested in you, you might notice that they seems to always find a way to be close to you. This could be in the way they speak to you, with your faces always seeming just a bit closer than everyone else's, or could be through being assigned to the same projects and duties.

How do you know if your boss is thinking of firing you? ›

Signs your boss wants you to leave
  • They're avoiding you. ...
  • They exclude you from organisation conversations. ...
  • They don't acknowledge your accomplishments. ...
  • They micromanage your daily tasks. ...
  • They don't give you new responsibilities. ...
  • They don't provide feedback. ...
  • They speak to you derogatorily. ...
  • They constantly disagree with you.
Apr 15, 2024

How do you know if your boss thinks highly of you? ›

You are included in important meetings and discussions, and your boss trusts you to represent the team or department: Being invited to participate in important meetings and discussions is a clear sign that your boss sees you as a valuable contributor to the team.

How to make a boss fall in love with you? ›

Here are six ways to make your boss love you:
  1. Find Reasons To Like And Respect Your Manager. Human beings aren't stupid. ...
  2. Be Meticulous About Keeping Your Word. ...
  3. Set Sustainable Boundaries And Occasionally Say No. ...
  4. Prioritize What Matters (To Them) ...
  5. Show Them You Take Their Feedback Seriously. ...
  6. Be Loyal When They're Not Around.

What is considered flirting at work? ›

A brief touch on the shoulder, a light brush against the arm or a playful nudge of the elbow might make you suspect someone is flirting. If this type of contact happens often, whether disguised as accidental or not, it could be flirting.

How do you get your boss to really like you? ›

How to make your boss like you
  1. Be involved. Stay engaged in team meetings and try to provide smart solutions to issues that may arise during projects. ...
  2. Know their communication style. ...
  3. Hold yourself accountable. ...
  4. Dress appropriately. ...
  5. Be punctual. ...
  6. Take pride in your work. ...
  7. Keep them informed. ...
  8. Keep a positive attitude.
Jun 24, 2022

How to tell if a man is attracted to you but hiding it at work? ›

Signs Your Male Coworker Has a Secret Crush on You
  1. 1 He frequently shows up next to you.
  2. 2 He sticks up for you.
  3. 3 You're his favorite person to talk to at work.
  4. 4 He comments on a change in your appearance.
  5. 5 Interacting with you puts him in a good mood.
  6. 6 He's bothered by the “competition.”
Dec 29, 2023

How do you know if someone has a secret crush on you at work? ›

7 signs of a secret crush at work.
  • They're your constant work buddy. ...
  • They remember tiny details about you. ...
  • They do more favors for you than any other coworker. ...
  • Your schedules have begun to synch up. ...
  • They linger over work chats. ...
  • They often invite you to after-work get-togethers.

How do you know if your boss secretly doesn't like you? ›

If your boss has a bias against you (whether it's conscious or not), it can color all her interactions with you—whether it's not giving you the same amount of coaching and development that she puts in with more favored team members, giving you less interesting or lower-profile assignments, or not recognizing what you' ...

How do you know if your boss is watching you? ›

Here are some common methods you can try:
  • Check your Task Manager and Activity Monitor: Look for unfamiliar active processes. ...
  • Check for unknown installed software: Some spyware tools may install themselves as applications on your computer, which you can find in the list of installed programs or applications.
Oct 29, 2023

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