3 Things Every ‘Fashionably Late’ Person Should Try (2024)

"Let's meet Friday at about 8:00." Sure, but...exactly when is "about" 8? Knowing the difference between on time, fashionably late and just late-late can feel complicated. But relax: there's a window inside which you can arrive late to some of your next gatherings without being rude. Let's break it down.

What does it mean to be fashionably late?

The concept of being fashionably late is all about being cool and making an entrance to a captive audience. It's wrapped up in images of movie stars and world travelers swanning into swanky affairs. And on the one hand, there's something to be said for joining a party already in full swing. No awkward hanging around before the snacks are set out and the first drinks poured, making stilted conversation with the other early birds. And that's the other hand: arriving too early is just as rude as getting there too late. Your hosts need time to set the stage and get the goodies out before they're ready to receive their guests. Sometimes being late is just kind of... polite.

Etiquette for arriving fashionably late.

Work gathering.

Be it a formal event or some kind of work-related celebration, this is a gathering that involves getting dressed up to the right degree and also knowing just when to arrive. The window for lateness here is within half an hour of when the event "starts." Timing is crucial, though. You can miss the first round of socializing, snacks and drinks, sure. But getting there after any opening welcoming remarks? That's late-late and rude.

Remember, this is a work event. You need to be on your best behavior, and that includes being present for the evening's main elements. And making a good show does more than just impress your boss: work events are an excellent opportunity to do a little networking. Give yourself time to chitchat with intent.

co*cktails.

The window for this kind of gathering, be it with friends or for work, is 15 to 20 minutes. The whole point of a co*cktail party is for people to mingle, so arriving with the bulk of the other guests is ideal. Get a drink and some snacks and start chatting. Get there too early and you're just hanging out, waiting. Too late? Rude, yes, but you also might miss the really good nibbles too.

Dinner party.

This one is all about punctuality. Why? Because dinner is involved, and it's being prepared with a set serving time already in place. Arriving late, with everyone already seated at the table, is a major social faux pas. Your host has a plan for the evening and it relies heavily on the timing of the meal. Everything from the drink and mingleperiod to the coffee and dessert is organized around when that first course is served. Be polite enough to respect this schedule and the time and effort involved in hostessing.

Pro dinner guest tip: a small hostess gift is never a bad idea. Keep it simple: a bottle of wine, a potted herb or a neutral-scented candle are nice ways to say thanks for the free food and good company.

House or block party.

Like the club, these events have a natural rhythm. They start slow, kick into gear and eventually wind down. The trick, like double dutch, is knowing just when to jump into the middle. Any kind of large, informal social gathering has a two or three-hour warm-up time, usually. Before that, there's often a fair amount of loitering, lingering and chit-chatting.

If you like to be there as things get going, by all means, arrive closer to the "start" time. But if you love pulling up just as things heat up? Go ahead and take your time getting ready.

Ceremonies.

This is a no brainer, but we'll say it anyway: Don't be late to a wedding, a funeral, a performance or a celebration. Just...don't. Even the smallest and most intimate of affairs requires punctuality. From a grand cathedral wedding to your nephew's middle school graduation ceremony, from a play to Uncle Ed's funeral, these ceremonies involve showing respect to both the occasion and its participants.

These life event ceremonies deserve to have you take time from work and other obligations, once you commit to attending. Lateness goes beyond rudeness and crosses over into the realm of the seriously offensive.

Bridal and baby showers.

Similar to the above ceremonies, showers are smaller gatherings of celebration and as such should be attended on time. There's still about a 15-minute window inside which you'll be considered reasonably punctual, but 20 minutes or more will be noted as rude.

Showerscan be rather regimented affairs, with time for socializing, time for games, for eating and for opening presents all planned out ahead of time. Arriving late could interrupt this schedule and might take away from everyone's fun in that moment.

How do I arrive on time?

• Save the date.

For most of these events, save a friendly casual gathering, you'll probably have weeks if not months of advanced warning. Put the date into your calendar and keep it in mind. The closer it gets, the more you'll be able to work your schedule around it. This saves you any last-minute conflicts, double bookings and, obviously, the risk of running late.

• Plan ahead.

You already know what you need to get done to prepare for, and arrive at, your party, shower or ceremony. But taking the time to create a to-do list of these tasks will help you organize the days and hours before you attend. Do this as soon as you receive your invitation, so you have a physical reminder of what needs to happen between now and then.

• Streamline your routing.

Simple steps, such as laying out your outfit and accessories and packing gifts and other things into your car the night before, means you'll be able to get ready and go with the minimal amount of fuss. Checking weather and traffic reports, as well as familiarizing yourself with routes and the day's events, will also start you off on the right track. Take these steps to avoid last-minute delays and you'll be right on time (or successfully fashionably late), every time.

One last thing.

Being fashionably late can be cool, but it just might also be polite. In fact, when we think of those glam movie stars and the fabulously rich, what we're really cluing into is their sophistication. These are folks who've attended scads of social events, and they navigate each occasion with ease. They can make their party entrance an hour "late" and yet somehow also seem right on time. The flip side of this knack is that they also know when to be punctual. Which is the true secret to being fashionably late: knowing exactly when "on time" really is, for every kind of occasion.

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3 Things Every ‘Fashionably Late’ Person Should Try (2024)

FAQs

What is a fashionably late person? ›

What does it mean to be fashionably late? The concept of being fashionably late is all about being cool and making an entrance to a captive audience. It's wrapped up in images of movie stars and world travelers swanning into swanky affairs.

What is considered fashionably late to a party? ›

38 minutes usually means you won't be the first one there, but will avoid coming in awkwardly after things are really rolling. And at a dinner party, you won't be too late to pick the seat you want.

Is it okay to be fashionably late? ›

“Fashionably late” is subjective—and while you don't want to be the first one to ring the doorbell, you also don't want to arrive so late that your boss or the host is wondering if you're lost.

How late is socially acceptable? ›

Even if your lunch or dinner mate is easygoing, it's disrespectful arrive more than five minutes late. Aim to arrive at least five or ten minutes before the curtain goes up. Arriving after showtime can spoil the whole evening.

What are the characteristics of people who are always late? ›

Impulsivity, inattentiveness, and “time blindness” can all contribute to lateness. Understanding the causes of chronic lateness may help you improve your timeliness. If you have attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), you might have to work a little bit harder at being on time.

Why are late people creative? ›

If you're one of them here's a good new: the lack of punctuality may be related to creativity and optimism. In fact, a study conducted at the San Diego State University revealed that people who are always late tend to be more creative.

How many minutes late is fashionably late? ›

In some areas, particularly rural parts of the country, you're expected to be prompt, while in a number of cities arriving between 15 minutes and a half hour after the party starts is merely considered “fashionably late.” Showing up later than that isn't good form, though-you don't want to interfere with the host's ...

What is late to the party examples? ›

Yeah, I know, I'm late to the party. We are seeing strong growth even in Europe, which came late to the party. The company arrived late to the party in coming up with its own range of phone accessories.

How late is too late for party? ›

However, arriving late for a seated function is going to cause more discomfort to the host and the other guests than a standing function." Roden says it is appropriate to arrive five to 10 minutes after the start time of a party or dinner party.

Is it bad to be 15 minutes late? ›

If you're less than 15 minutes late from time to time, you're probably still within an acceptable range. Consult your contract and workplace policies regarding punctuality to make sure, and always seek to address any repeated instances of lateness, even if it's just a few minutes.

Is turning up late disrespectful? ›

When you chronically show up late (and sometimes even if you only do so once), you suffer the consequences. You may miss out on an opportunity (even if it is just to sit where you can see the speaker). Or you may be damaging your reputation. Late people tend to appear less trustworthy and responsible.

What does being late show to others? ›

Not only does consistent tardiness insult others, but it can also bely a lack of certain valuable virtues. It can convey that the late person has a lack of intelligence, a lack of time management skills, and a slippery grasp on their own priorities. It can also betray a lack of will power and empathy.

What are things you should be late for? ›

Other excuses that work well include having an appointment, a sick child, a school delay, car trouble, mass transit delays, a family emergency or illness, house problems, or waiting for a service person for repairs.

Why is lateness unacceptable? ›

Tardiness has a direct impact on relationships, and consequently, on self-esteem, since, for example, people become less trustworthy to their peers; they are objects of complaints, ridicule and are even put aside by this recurrent trait of behavior. This isolates and segregates them.

Is being late a lack of respect? ›

Being late isn't always a sign that someone doesn't respect your time. Sometimes it's a symptom of respecting too many people's time—and being too optimistic about how many they can squeeze in.

What psychology says about late people? ›

Punctual people may believe that late people are passive-aggressive and that their time is more valuable than those who wait for them. But reasons for lateness are generally more complex. The reason may be the opposite of arrogance. It could be that they don't value themselves enough.

What does lateness say about a person? ›

It appears that late people, thanks to their positive and optimistic demeanour, often overcommit, as well as overestimate how much time they actually have, meaning it can be difficult to stick to deadlines. Makes sense. That being said, they're also more likely to succeed, be healthier and live longer.

What does psychology say about people who are always late? ›

But lateness isn't just about poor time management. According to psychologist Dr. Pauline Wallin, "people who are chronically late are often wrestling with anxiety, distraction, ambivalence, or other internal psychological states".

What are the different types of late people? ›

According to Dr Linda Sapadin, a US psychologist specialising in time management, there are four types of personalities especially prone to being chronically late: the Perfectionist, the Crisis Maker, the Defier and the Dreamer. Perfectionists simply can't leave home until the dishwasher is packed and set running.

Why is it annoying when people are late? ›

They get annoyed because your lateness betrays a lack of respect and consideration for them—and so they get more annoyed, and more quickly, if they are (or think they are) your social or hierarchical superiors.

Are people who show up late more successful? ›

As it turns out, those people aren't all wrong. There's some good news for those of us who just can't help but be a little late to the party, with research suggesting latecomers are likely to be more relaxed and optimistic than their on-time counterparts, essentially leading to a happier and more successful life.

What is the 5 minute rule late? ›

5 Minutes Early Is On Time; On Time Is Late; Late Is Unacceptable.

How late should a party start? ›

Most parties should start at 7:00 p.m. I'll tell you why. An event that starts at 7:00 p.m. gives you guests enough time to finish their workday. They can either come straight to your party after work, or they can eat dinner before arriving.

Is it better to be early or late? ›

In general, arriving early is probably better for your career than staying late but there are certain situations where staying late can be incredibly beneficial to your career. But, if you want to maintain a good work-life balance, try not to arrive early and stay late every day.

What do you say when you do something late? ›

I'm really sorry, but I'm running late this morning because of [reason]. I expect to be in by [time] but will let you know if that changes. In the meantime I'll be available by [form of communication] for anything urgent. I hope to make it by [meeting] but if not [how you'll make up for missing it].

What am I forgetting for my party? ›

Things people forget about when hosting parties:
  • Toilet Paper. Have more than you think you'll need and leave the extra rolls in an obvious place. ...
  • Areas of Congestion. The doorway, the kitchen, the food and drink. ...
  • Garbage. ...
  • Mixers. ...
  • Ice. ...
  • Hide any off-limits bottles. ...
  • Music. ...
  • Go the extra mile when introducing people.
Oct 24, 2017

What is a simple sentence for late? ›

We were a little late. The train was 40 minutes late. He's a half hour late. We went to bed very late.

What is the 38 minute rule? ›

It's called the “38-Minute Rule.” A political reporter in D.C. named Sam Brodey came up with it. He tries to show up exactly 38 minutes late to parties because that's the sweet spot. It usually means you won't be the first one there . . . but won't come in awkwardly after things are really rolling.

How long is it polite to stay at a party? ›

A good rule of thumb: If it's a party with a guest of honor, such as a shower or birthday, stay until after cake is served. For larger scale, less personal events—think co*cktail party, New Year's Eve blowout or other big bash—it's acceptable to make an appearance, then jet after an hour.

How do you stay awake at a late party? ›

Here are some tricks you can use to stay awake, alert, and engaged during those overnight events or festivals.
  1. Pack In Extra Sleep the Nights Before. ...
  2. ABM (Always Be Moving) ...
  3. Grab a Coffee or Tea. ...
  4. But Not An Energy Drink. ...
  5. Get Uncomfortable. ...
  6. Stay Away From the Booze. ...
  7. Keep Your Mouth Busy.
Aug 14, 2019

What is an excuse for 2 hours late? ›

The best excuse for being two hours late to work is the truth, as that will be the easiest to explain and you won't have any potential of getting caught in a lie. The second best excuse for being two hours late to work would be car trouble or a family emergency or illness.

What hour is considered late? ›

Late- afternoon: 3-6 p.m. Evening: 6-9 p.m. Late at night: Midnight-6 a.m. Toward morning: 3-6 a.m.

Can you be fired for being 1 minute late? ›

Yes. It is perfectly legal for an employer to fire you for the sole reason that you are a few minutes late. Unless you are consistently late, however, it's very unlikely. I discussed the bad practice of firing people for asking for a raise in this recent article.

Is being late a red flag? ›

Punctuality. As the popular saying states first impressions are usually lasting impressions, this is the same for being late for a first date. A clear red flag is your date showing up extremely late for the date without sending a message or calling to indicate that they are having an issue and will be running late.

How do you act when you're late? ›

How to handle being late to work
  1. Be honest.
  2. Be concise.
  3. Communicate early.
  4. Cover your responsibilities.
  5. Apologize.
Mar 10, 2023

Is lateness a character flaw? ›

When people are late, they give the impression that they are disrespectful and unreliable. Arguably, it is one of the worst qualities a person can have, as it impacts the lives of others. While it may seem like a quirky characteristic to some, it is a blatantly rude shortcoming that must be corrected.

Are narcissists always late? ›

However most narcissists are notorious for being late. And keeping people waiting for hours on end. Lateness ties in with many of the narcissists foibles.

How do I stop doing things late? ›

Step 3: Adopt Anti-Procrastination Strategies
  1. Forgive yourself for procrastinating in the past. ...
  2. Commit to the task. ...
  3. Promise yourself a reward. ...
  4. Ask someone to check up on you. ...
  5. Act as you go. ...
  6. Rephrase your internal dialog. ...
  7. Minimize distractions . ...
  8. Aim to "eat an elephant beetle" first thing, every day!

What is the saying about being late? ›

Better once than never, for never too late.”

How to deal with someone who is always late? ›

12 tips to deal with an employee consistently late to work
  1. Address the situation early. ...
  2. Make your expectations clear. ...
  3. Refer to a tardy policy. ...
  4. Allow for privacy. ...
  5. Give praise for improved behavior. ...
  6. Document conversations and interactions. ...
  7. Initiate a clock-in system. ...
  8. Integrate punctuality into a performance review.
Mar 10, 2023

How is being late a selfish act? ›

It was drilled into me that being late is a selfish act. It puts your needs before the needs of others. It tells them that you undervalue them.

Is lateness passive aggressive? ›

Here are the six most common traits that show you have a passive-aggressive character: Lateness. This is the passive-aggressor's favourite, almost defining, tool.

What time frame is fashionably late? ›

In some areas, particularly rural parts of the country, you're expected to be prompt, while in a number of cities arriving between 15 minutes and a half hour after the party starts is merely considered “fashionably late.” Showing up later than that isn't good form, though-you don't want to interfere with the host's ...

What do you call someone who always shows up late? ›

tardy Add to list Share.

How rude is being late? ›

Finally, being late is just plain rude. It's a way of saying to people that their time is not as important as yours. Nobody likes hearing that.

How late is too late for date? ›

For those who do plan on going on a date, punctuality is, of course, important. After all, you made special plans for Valentine's Day, so you want your date to be on time. But most of us are willing to give our lovers a bit of leeway — the general consensus is that it's okay to be up to 30 minutes late for a date.

Why do I struggle with punctuality? ›

This tardiness can be explained by a number of factors, including specific personality traits and a lack of time management skills, experts say. Often, it's caused by attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder, which is characterized by traits such as inattention and impulsivity.

Is it disrespectful to always be late? ›

Late people tend to appear less trustworthy and responsible. Late people are sending a signal to those who have made an effort to be on time. This signal says, “You aren't as important as I am.” This may not be a conscious signal but it certainly is received. Let me make it clear, everyone has emergencies.

Are late people more positive? ›

In addition to feeling better and healthier, people who are always late tend to have a better outlook on life and are more optimistic. So rather than focusing on the negatives of being late all the time, they are simply living their best lives.

How do you tolerate late people? ›

Here are some ideas to help you manage an employee who consistently arrives late:
  1. Address the situation early. ...
  2. Make your expectations clear. ...
  3. Refer to a tardy policy. ...
  4. Allow for privacy. ...
  5. Set goals together. ...
  6. Check in regularly. ...
  7. Give praise for improved behavior. ...
  8. Document conversations and interactions.
Mar 10, 2023

How does being late affect people? ›

Tardiness has a direct impact on relationships, and consequently, on self-esteem, since, for example, people become less trustworthy to their peers; they are objects of complaints, ridicule and are even put aside by this recurrent trait of behavior. This isolates and segregates them.

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