They may look cute and innocent but maraschino cherries are always a horrible idea. The preserved, sweetened cherry is a defiled version of the beautiful fresh fruit. And once you learn how they're made, you'll join me on this anti-maraschino cherry journey I like to call living your best life.
1. They're syrupy AF.
I'm sorry but who decided that drowning cherries in sugar syrup was the best way to serve them? If I wanted a nuclear-waste–looking "garnish" on my sundae I'd ask for Nickelodeon slime. Plus, the texture turns to mush and the artificial, overly sweet taste is absolutely horrendous.
2. They don't belong in an old fashioned.
Or any co*cktail for that matter. How dare you ruin a decent drink with such a cheap addition? You may as well just dump that whiskey out the window once a maraschino touches it. If a kid wants one in a Shirley Temple or Roy Rogers, then do it and let that child learn from her horrible mistake.
3. They totally disgrace ice cream.
Oh, you want a pop of color on top of your whipped cream? Pour on the macerated strawberries. Or, hmm, I don't know, FRESH CHERRIES.
4. They're made in the most horrifying way.
Typically, fresh Royal cherries are bleached with calcium chloride and sulfur dioxide until they turn yellow and lose their natural flavor (WHY?!). Then they're marinated in high fructose corn syrup and Red #4 food coloring for upwards of three weeks. Not delish.
5. Cherries should not be flavored with lime.
Or wild berry. Or lemon. Or passion fruit. A cherry is a cherry—leave it at that.
6. They're not even boozy.
If you're going to soak fruit in something for a while,it should be alcohol. Plus, the original marasca cherries (the origin of maraschino cherries) were preserved in maraschino liqueurs in Croatia and Italy. Today, in America, you're just eating a cheap rip-off.
7. Even chocolate can't save them.
Chocolate, the holiest of sweets, can do no wrong. It makes literally everything better—except, that is, for the unworthy maraschino cherry. Those jelly sucrose-filled cordials are garbage.
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As an enthusiast with a deep understanding of culinary topics, let me shed light on the misconceptions surrounding maraschino cherries. My expertise is grounded in a comprehensive knowledge of food production methods, flavor profiles, and the cultural history of ingredients. Allow me to present evidence and insights that will support my assertions and help you make informed decisions about these controversial cherries.
First and foremost, maraschino cherries are often criticized for being overly sweet and syrupy. The article rightly points out that drowning cherries in sugar syrup results in a texture resembling mush and an artificial, cloying taste. This observation aligns with the principles of good culinary practice, where the natural essence of ingredients is valued over excessive sweetness.
Moving on to the issue of using maraschino cherries in co*cktails, especially in classics like the Old Fashioned, the article raises a valid point. As someone well-versed in mixology, I can attest that the addition of maraschino cherries can compromise the integrity of a well-crafted drink. Their overly sweet nature can overpower the nuanced flavors of a quality whiskey, detracting from the overall drinking experience.
The article also critiques the use of maraschino cherries as a topping for ice cream, emphasizing the superiority of fresh alternatives like macerated strawberries or, better yet, fresh cherries. This aligns with the general culinary consensus that fresh and natural ingredients enhance the quality and enjoyment of desserts.
One of the most compelling arguments against maraschino cherries is the way they are produced. The article correctly highlights the intricate process involving the bleaching of Royal cherries, marination in high fructose corn syrup, and the addition of food coloring. This information underscores the departure from the natural state of the fruit, raising concerns about the health implications and the overall quality of the product.
Furthermore, the article touches on the lack of alcohol content in modern maraschino cherries, deviating from the traditional preservation method involving maraschino liqueurs in Croatia and Italy. This insight reflects a historical perspective on the evolution of food preservation techniques and the departure from traditional practices.
In conclusion, maraschino cherries, as portrayed in the article, indeed raise concerns from both a culinary and ethical standpoint. The evidence presented aligns with established culinary principles and historical practices, making a compelling case against the ubiquitous use of these cherries in various culinary applications.
