Are you the toxic one in your relationship? Here are 6 signs to look out for (2024)

A toxic partner can drain you emotionally and hurt your mental health. But what if you’re the toxic one in your relationship?

Shreya Gupta Published: 25 Dec 2020, 16:00 pm IST

No one is perfect and the same applies to relationships. Imperfection is absolutely normal but toxicity is not. If imperfection can incentivise you to grow and change, toxicity can drain you emotionally and leave you with negative thoughts.

It’s always easier to blame someone else for being toxic but you need to introspect too. What if you’re the villain in your own relationship? We need to examine our own behaviour and patterns. At times, it so happens that we’re the toxic one but simply refuse to accept it. But, there’s no shame in accepting it because being aware of things will be the first step to change.

Ask yourself if you relate to these 6 signs of a toxic romantic partner and be honest with the answers:

1. You tend to manipulate things

Manipulation ranges from gaslighting and lying to hiding information from your partner. If you’re doing any of these things, you’re clearly manipulating your partner and are the toxic one in the relationship. Ultimately, it will only erode your partner’s love and respect for you.

2. You are a little too dominating

We’d all like for things to always go our way but relationships are about compromises. If you’re holding your partner hostage to your demands, then it is quite unhealthy. When you are in a relationship, you need to listen to your partner too because they’re an equal part of the dynamic. Moreover, you shouldn’t try to exert control over your partner by demanding things always go your way.

Are you the toxic one in your relationship? Here are 6 signs to look out for (2)

Also, read: 8 obvious signs that it’s time to break up according to a psychologist

3. You’re always threatening to split up

If it is normal to threaten your partner with a relationship, you must know that it’s known as emotional blackmail and isn’t healthy at all. These threats can only make a fragile situation worse and lead to a trust deficit from your partner’s end. Instead, try to step back from the situation before making a threat like this and allow yourself to calm down.

4. You don’t give them personal space

No matter how long you have been in the relationship or how close you both are, giving your partner their personal space is important. Having some space to oneself leads to personality growth and the development of individual choices. So, adhere to their personal boundaries and don’t overtake their space.

5. The relationship is all about you

If you believe that only your needs matter and don’t give enough importance to what your partner is going through, your relationship is unhealthy. If your partner can’t find any support from you and you’re not their confidant, then how will it lead to a long-lasting relationship? You need to make an effort to ensure your partner feel emotionally taken care of as well.

6. You never take responsibility

If you abdicate all responsibility only to blame others, then you’re being toxic. Don’t play the blame game because you’re not fooling anyone and only damaging your relationship.

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PERSONALISE NOW

If you think these signs reflect your behaviour in a relationship, you need to work on yourself. You’ll see the health of your relationship improve once you make the changes you need to make!

Are you the toxic one in your relationship? Here are 6 signs to look out for (2024)

FAQs

Are you the toxic one in your relationship? Here are 6 signs to look out for? ›

You tend to manipulate things

How do I know if I am the toxic one in the relationship? ›

Perhaps the most classic trait of a toxic person is lying, selfishness, and manipulation. Often when you want things to go your way without caring for what the other person wants, you may twist your words, make false promises, go back on your word, and manipulate your way to win their heart again.

What are 5 signs of a unhealthy relationship? ›

Some characteristics of unhealthy relationships include:
  • Control. One dating partner makes all the decisions and tells the other what to do, what to wear, or who to spend time with. ...
  • Hostility. ...
  • Dishonesty. ...
  • Disrespect. ...
  • Dependence. ...
  • Intimidation. ...
  • Physical violence. ...
  • Sexual violence.

What are 3 warning signs you may notice about a relationship being unhealthy? ›

However, insults, jealous accusations, yelling, put-downs, shoving, pushing or other abusive behaviors, are unhealthy and disrespectful. You deserve to be respected. If you think your relationship is unhealthy, focus on your safety, talk to someone you trust, or contact a service provider for support.

Who is a toxic person in a relationship? ›

A toxic relationship is one that has unhealthy dynamics and causes you distress or harm because you're unsupported, manipulated or disrespected. While we all have our moments and seasons of selfishness, a truly toxic person will take and take and take and give you nothing in return.

How do I know if I'm a toxic person? ›

Are You a Toxic Person? 10 Questions to Ask Yourself
  • Do you use shaming language? ...
  • Do you tend to blame others for your problems? ...
  • Do you try to “one-up” people who come to you with a struggle or good news? ...
  • Do you tend to take more than you give? ...
  • Do you say you don't like drama, but your life is full of it? ...
  • Do you gossip?
Aug 17, 2018

How to tell if a guy is toxic? ›

7 Warning Signs of a Toxic Relationship
  1. Love Bombing. Love bombing is a behavior often seen in people who have narcissistic or borderline personality disorders. ...
  2. Constant Stress. ...
  3. Gaslighting. ...
  4. Lying. ...
  5. Being Dismissive. ...
  6. Attempts to Isolate You. ...
  7. Defensiveness.
Nov 27, 2023

What is considered a red flag in a relationship? ›

What is a relationship red flag? Jennifer Klesman, a licensed clinical social worker and therapist in Chicago, defines a red flag as a behavior trait or value that shows your future incompatibility with a person. This can be anything from someone having a history of infidelity to conflicting lifestyles and beyond.

How to tell if someone is bad for you? ›

What Is a Toxic Person?
  • You feel like you're being manipulated into something you don't want to do.
  • You're constantly confused by the person's behavior.
  • You feel like you deserve an apology that never comes.
  • You always have to defend yourself to this person.
  • You never feel fully comfortable around them.
Dec 18, 2022

How do you know if you're a bad partner? ›

Spending all of your free time with your spouse, for example, could indicate you're codependent and smothering them, and being on your phone constantly could mean you're not giving your relationship the attention it needs to thrive.

Am I the bad one in the relationship? ›

“If you are showing up in a harmful way in your relationship, you may find that you are constantly on edge — always on the brink of saying something hurtful,” said Choi. “Unprocessed emotions can lead to 'toxic' behavior patterns, such as lashing out at your partner or shutting down ― stonewalling.

Am I unhealthy in my relationship? ›

Lying, cheating, jealousy, and disrespect are signs of an unhealthy relationship. So is trying to control a partner. That includes: keeping track of where they are and who they hang out with.

How does a toxic relationship look like? ›

Key signs that you're in a toxic relationship include feeling drained instead of uplifted, frequent disrespect or verbal abuse, and a persistent imbalance of power where your needs and feelings are sidelined.

What do toxic people say? ›

Absolute statements like “you always…” or “you never…” are common phrases used by toxic individuals. These statements are not only unfair, but they also serve to generalize your behavior in a negative light. These phrases are used to exaggerate flaws and ignore your positive traits.

When to know to break up? ›

If your partner makes you angry, miserable, or bored often and if it is very hard for you to explain the reasons why you still love this person, it's an obvious sign that you should go your own path. If you feel suffocated in a relationship and if the negatives overshadow the positives, it's time to move on.

Can a toxic person love you? ›

Is toxic love still real love? Toxic love is not real, healthy love. A toxic relationship does not encourage personal growth in each individual, and both partners aren't looking out for one another. It may be very one-sided, where one partner takes advantage of the nice, helpful personality of the other.

How do I stop being the toxic one in the relationship? ›

How to stop being toxic
  1. Get mental health support to examine and change toxic behaviors.
  2. Learn the underlying reasons for toxic behaviors.
  3. Apologize to the people you've hurt with your toxic behaviors.
  4. Use tools to practice less toxic behaviors.
  5. Show yourself compassion as you try to stop practicing toxic behaviors.
Sep 20, 2023

How do I know if its love or toxic? ›

Love: Encouragement of each other's expanding; secure in own worth. Toxic love: Preoccupation with other's behavior; fear of other changing. Love: Appropriate Trust (trusting partner to behave according to fundamental nature.) Toxic love: Jealousy; possessiveness; fear of competition; protects "supply."

Do toxic people know they're toxic? ›

Someone with toxic traits may not realize or care that their actions negatively impact others if they lack emotional intelligence. If someone is unaware their actions hurt others, try addressing the problem with them. If they refuse to listen, you may need to set boundaries or stop spending time with them.

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