A lawyer’s perspective of “Christmas Vacation”: What you should know if you have a family like Clark Griswold
In the 1989 holiday classic, “National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation,” Clark Griswold is hoping to have the perfect old-fashioned family Christmas. Although perfect is the last word to describe what actually happens in the film, the movie still makes viewers laugh and serves as a nice reminder of how “normal” our own families are.
Spoiler alert: Do not continue reading if you have not viewed this film.
After Clark does not receive the big bonus check that he was expecting, Cousin Eddie comes to save the day by kidnapping Clark’s boss (Frank Shirley) and presenting him as a present for Clark, bow included. Like most Christmas movies, “Christmas Vacation” has a happy ending, with Clark’s boss, his family and the full swat team and police department singing “The Star Spangled Banner.”
But what if this all happened for real?
False Imprisonment
False Imprisonment is a crime in Minnesota. Under Minn. Stat. § 609.255, one who knowingly lacking lawful authority to do so intentionally confines or restrains a person without the person’s consent is guilty of False Imprisonment.
Unfortunately, for Eddie, his plot to present Clark’s boss as a present could have sent him to jail for up to 3 years and pay a fine up to a $5,000. Had Eddie caused Mr. Shirley substantial bodily harm, he could be facing up to 5 years and a $10,000 fine. Hopefully, Mr. Shirley would not mention to police that Eddie repeatedly kicked him up the walkway to get him into the house.
Kidnapping
Eddie could have been charged with kidnapping under Minn. Stat.§ 609.25. Kidnapping involves confining or renew from one place to another any person without the person’s consent and for any of the following purposes:
- to hold for ransom or reward for release, or as shield or hostage;
- to facilitate commission of any felony or flight thereafter;
- to commit great bodily harm or to terrorize the victim or another; or
- to hold in involuntary servitude.
Eddie most likely would not be convicted of kidnapping because he did not confine Mr. Shirley for any of the four above-mentioned reasons.
It is rare to say that poor planning is helpful when executing a crime, but in Eddie’s case, his last-minute gift idea with little to no reason could have saved him from this charge.
Threats of Violence
Eddie kidnapped Clark’s boss so Clark could tell Mr. Shirley to his face how he felt about not receiving a Christmas bonus. The intended comments of “bug-eyed, stiff-legged, spotty lipped, worm-headed sack of monkey…,” likely does not fit the Minnesota Statute of Threats of Violence (Minn. Stat. § 609.713), which prohibits an individual to, “threaten, directly or indirectly, to commit any crime of violence with purpose to terrorize another.” Clark’s statements were more likely insults and did not carry any threats of violence.
If Clark shared his rant with Mr. Shirley directly he could have been charged with Disorderly Conduct (Minn. Stat.§ 609.72), which prohibits engaging in offensive, obscene, abusive, boisterous or noisy conduct or in offensive obscene or abusive language tending reasonable to arouse alarm anger or resentment in others. Calling an individual “inbred, overstuffed, ignorant, blood-sucking, dog-kissing, brainless,” could be determined as obscene and offensive language.
Clark’s comments could only be prohibited under this Statute if considered “fighting words,” but perhaps could be prohibited as offensive or boisterous conduct.
In other words, it is a good thing Clark held is tongue when Mr. Shirley arrived.
36 – Hour Rule
In the movie, the cops do not arrest Eddie, because after all, it’s Christmas. In real life, your crazy great aunt would be more likely to wrap her own cat. Reports of Kidnapping or False Imprisonment allow Minnesota police officers to arrest and hold an individual for up to 36 hours without being formally charged by a prosecutor and having a judge set bail or conditions of release. This means that if Eddie was arrested on Christmas Eve he could be detained all of Christmas day. When computing time in jail all hours are counted except:
- Days of arrest
- Sundays
- Legal holidays
Because Christmas Day is on a Friday this year (a legal holiday), Eddie likely would have sat in jail all weekend as well. Eddie would have to be either charged or released by noon on Monday, December 28, 2015.
Dumping Hazardous Waste
To keep this short and sweet, negligently dumping human waste in a sewer that explodes usually doesn’t go unpunished, so Eddie could be charged with that as well under Minn. Stat. § 609.671, subd 6.
We at Brandt Kettwick Defense hope that everyone has a happy and safe holiday! But we strongly caution you to not falsely imprison your boss as a last minute Christmas present.
