Dear Jess: What is the gifting etiquette when you’re invited over for a drink? (2024)

Dear Jess: What is the gifting etiquette when you’re invited over for a drink?

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This was published 6 years ago

By Jessica Rowe

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Q. Whenever we are invited to dinner at someone's house we take a bottle of wine with us. But what is the etiquette when you're invited over for a drink?

A. Gifting Guest, I never like to arrive empty-handed when I'm invited to a friend's place. It doesn't matter if it's for brunch, morning coffee, afternoon tea, drinks or dinner. Bring whatever takes your fancy (and you think your hosts will like).

Dear Jess: What is the gifting etiquette when you’re invited over for a drink? (1)

It might be a box of chocolates, a punnet of strawberries, a box of Cheezels, a bunch of daisies, chocolate croissants or some crappy magazines (I would love any of these items). In our increasingly disconnected world, despite our constant online connections, there is something very special about being invited into someone's home. And I'm big on making a small but thoughtful gesture to say thank you for including me in your intimate world.

Q. My best friend has had cosmetic surgery and she looks really awful, all puffed up with a trouty mouth. Mutual friends are talking about her behind her back. Should I tell her?

Dear Jess: What is the gifting etiquette when you’re invited over for a drink? (2)

A. Gossipy Girlfriend, nothing can ever be gained by telling the subject of nasty gossip what people are saying. These so-called friends are simply mischiefmaking by sharing unkind comments. My mother always taught me that if you have nothing nice to say about someone, say nothing at all.

If you really are this woman's best friend, as you claim, tell these uncharitable types to zip it. However, I have a pact with my oldest friend that if I use too much Botox or dress in unsuitable clothes (even though I plan on ageing disgracefully), she must tell me immediately! Do you have a similar deal with your friend? If not, don't add to the bitchy talk. It's your friend's business what she does with her face and no one else's.

These answers are simply my views, and I am far from perfect. I struggle through some days better than others with the help of my family, cats, chocolate and antidepressants. Unfortunately, I cannot personally reply to questions.

Contact me via Jessica.Rowe@fairfaxmedia.com.au. Instagram: @jessjrowe. Twitter: @JessRowe.

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Dear Jess: What is the gifting etiquette when you’re invited over for a drink? (2024)
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