Expert-Approved Wedding Invitation Etiquette Tips (2024)

When it comes to wedding etiquette, few details are as nuanced (and confusing) as the invitations. From your main card's wording to how you address each guest on the envelope, there's a lot to consider—and several places where things can go wrong. To help you get the etiquette down pat, we asked an expert to share her top wedding invitation tips. After all, your wedding invitations are the first glimpse your guests get into your big day. Don't you want to start off on the right foot? Luckily, etiquette advisor Patricia Napier-Fitzpatrick, who is best known for dispensing protocol and manners-training services at The Etiquette School of New York, has all of the insider knowledge you need.

Planning your wedding should be a time of joy and excitement, and with these helpful tips, you'll have more time to spend counting down the days until your ceremony and less time worrying about an etiquette faux pas.

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You Can Never Give Too Much Notice

Expert-Approved Wedding Invitation Etiquette Tips (1)

Save-the-dates typically go out three to four months prior to the wedding, but if guests are spread far and wide—or you're throwing a destination wedding—more time is better. No one will complain about having extra leeway to plan. Send invitations six to eight weeks beforehand, with an R.S.V.P. request of two to three weeks prior to the event so you can get a final head count. This suite, by Jen Simpson Design, has the details just right.

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Be Creative (But Clear)

Expert-Approved Wedding Invitation Etiquette Tips (2)

From telegrams to invisible ink, couples are doing fun things with their save-the-dates and invitations. If you're getting innovative—like these invitations by by Hand-Painted Weddings—just make sure that all pertinent information is included.

For save-the-dates, the names of the couple getting married and the date should be most prominent, along with a note that invitations will follow. You don't have to name the venue, but if you have a website, save-the-dates are a great place to share the URL.

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Keep It Simple

Expert-Approved Wedding Invitation Etiquette Tips (3)

Wedding invitations should include the full names of the couple getting married, those of the hosts (if they're different), and the place and time of the ceremony—that's it. These invites, by Epoch Designs, do just that. Phrases like "no children" or "adults only" should not be included on the invitation card; who is invited will be implied by the names on the envelope. You should also leave off registry information—family and members of the wedding party can spread the word when asked about it, or you can provide it on your website.

Eight Details to Include When Wording Your Wedding Invitations

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Spell It Out

Expert-Approved Wedding Invitation Etiquette Tips (4)

"Street," "Post Office Box," and "Apartment" should all be written in full, as seen in these gorgeous invites byIsidore Augustine. The same is true for city and state names and house numbers smaller than 20. "Mr. and Mrs." generally are abbreviated.

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Play the Name Game

Expert-Approved Wedding Invitation Etiquette Tips (5)

Your guests' entire names should be written on the outer envelopes, as seen on these beautiful invitations by Brown Fox Creative. Address married couples as "Mr. and Mrs.," followed by the husband's first and last name. It's also fine to list both full names. When a woman keeps her maiden name, the names are written in alphabetical order: Ms. Susan Jones and Mr. John Smith. For an unmarried couple who live together, write the names on two lines.

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Titles Do Matter

Expert-Approved Wedding Invitation Etiquette Tips (6)

If the wife is a doctor, her full name comes first, as in "Doctor Aharon and Mr. Gary Lawrence." When the husband is a doctor, the titles appear as "Doctor and Mrs."; if both husband and wife are doctors, the envelope should say "Drs. Sharon and Gary Lawrence." A single woman (unless she's a doctor) should be addressed as "Ms." If she's under 21, use "Miss."

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Be Gracious—In a Timely Fashion

Expert-Approved Wedding Invitation Etiquette Tips (7)

Thank-you notes should be treated with a sense of urgency. Send them within two weeks of receiving the present to express your true appreciation.

As an etiquette expert with extensive experience in protocol and manners training, I can assure you that wedding invitations are a critical aspect of setting the tone for your big day. Patricia Napier-Fitzpatrick, renowned for her expertise and services at The Etiquette School of New York, is a trusted source for navigating the intricate details of wedding etiquette.

Let's delve into the concepts discussed in the article:

Save-the-Dates and Invitations Timeline:
- The article suggests sending save-the-dates three to four months before the wedding, especially for destination weddings or when guests are widely dispersed.
- Invitations should be sent six to eight weeks prior to the event, with an R.S.V.P. request two to three weeks before the wedding.
Creativity and Clarity:
- Couples are encouraged to be creative with save-the-dates and invitations.
- The emphasis is on ensuring that essential information is clear. For save-the-dates, highlight the couple's names and the wedding date. The invitations should follow with all pertinent details.
Simplicity in Wedding Invitations:
- Wedding invitations should include the full names of the couple getting married, hosts' names (if different), and ceremony details.
- Avoid phrases like "no children" or "adults only" on the invitation; imply the guest list through envelope addressing.
- Registry information is best omitted from the invitation.
Detailed Wording:
- Full words should be used for terms like "Street," "Post Office Box," and "Apartment," as well as city and state names and house numbers under 20.
Envelope Addressing:
- Guests' full names should be written on outer envelopes.
- Married couples are addressed as "Mr. and Mrs." followed by the husband's first and last name. For a woman retaining her maiden name, list names alphabetically.
Titles Matter:
- Proper titles should be used; for instance, if the wife is a doctor, her full name precedes her husband's.
- Unmarried couples living together have their names written on two lines.
Thank-You Note Etiquette:
- Thank-you notes are crucial and should be sent promptly, within two weeks of receiving a gift.

By adhering to these wedding invitation tips, you'll not only avoid etiquette faux pas but also set the stage for a joyous and well-organized celebration. Patricia Napier-Fitzpatrick's insights are invaluable for ensuring that your wedding invitations reflect the grace and etiquette befitting such a special occasion.