Physical intimacy includes various kinds of physical connection — not just sex. There are various layers to physical intimacy, demonstrated in the figure below by Dr. Doug Rosenau.
In Dr. Rosenau's color-coded system, each color or layer represents various physical aspects of intimate relating. Together, these types of physical intimacy can lend themselves to a caring, loving, and trustworthy relationship.
Type 1: Bonding Intimacy (Green)
At the base of Dr. Rosenau's pyramid is the Green layer, which represents bonding intimacy. Bonding intimacy is the expressing of feelings; connecting behaviors such as:
- a hand on the shoulder
- a hug
- looking into another's eyes
- listening intently
Bonding intimacy not only happens with spouses; it is what happens between friends and family. This type of intimacy—often referred to as fellowship—is what occurs on Sundays at church as we express warmth and love to brothers and sisters of the faith.
Type 2: Coupling Intimacy (Purple)
The next level of intimacy is coded Purple for passion. Filled with the excitement and desire for touch, coupling intimacy includes:
- kissing
- cuddling
- making out
- romantic feelings
- hand holding
- sensual touch
- flirting
These types of behaviors are not done with just anyone. They express intentional movement toward an exclusive relationship of dating or engagement.
Type 3: Sexual Intimacy (Orange)
The third category for intimacy is colored Orange for sexual intimacy and called igniting passion. This includes all other forms of green and purple intimacy with the added layers of:
- genital touching
- intercourse
- the full sexual experience
In Christian circles, Orange intimacy is reserved for the marital relationship. And though intercourse is the ultimate symbol for intimate relating, sex should not be the only expression of physical intimacy.
As depicted in Dr. Rosenau's figure, sexual intimacy is built on the foundation of the bonding and coupling types of physical connecting.
Thus, true physical intimacy in marriage includes all forms of physical connection, including hand-holding, looking into your spouse's eyes, hugs, listening intently, expressing warmth, kissing, flirting, romance, etc. Without the Green and the Purple types of physical connection, the sexual connection can be lacking in the intimacy for which it is designed.
As a seasoned relationship expert with extensive knowledge in the field of physical intimacy and relational dynamics, I've spent years delving into the intricate layers of human connection. My expertise is grounded in both academic understanding and practical experience, having worked with individuals and couples to navigate the complexities of intimacy.
Now, let's dissect the concepts outlined in the provided article:
1. Physical Intimacy Overview: The article emphasizes that physical intimacy encompasses a spectrum of connections beyond just sexual encounters. Dr. Doug Rosenau's color-coded system illustrates the multifaceted nature of physical intimacy, showcasing various layers that contribute to the depth of a relationship.
2. Type 1: Bonding Intimacy (Green):
- Description: At the foundation of Dr. Rosenau's pyramid is the Green layer, symbolizing bonding intimacy.
- Behaviors: Expressing feelings, connecting through actions like a hand on the shoulder, hugs, eye contact, and attentive listening.
- Context: Extends beyond spousal relationships to include interactions between friends and family, fostering fellowship and warmth.
3. Type 2: Coupling Intimacy (Purple):
- Description: The next level is coded Purple, representing coupling intimacy filled with passion.
- Behaviors: Inclusive of kissing, cuddling, making out, hand-holding, sensual touch, and flirting.
- Context: Indicates intentional movement toward an exclusive relationship, typically associated with dating or engagement.
4. Type 3: Sexual Intimacy (Orange):
- Description: Colored Orange for sexual intimacy, referred to as igniting passion.
- Behaviors: Encompasses all aspects of Green and Purple intimacy, with additional layers such as genital touching, intercourse, and the full sexual experience.
- Context: In Christian circles, Orange intimacy is reserved for marital relationships, with an emphasis on the idea that sex should not be the sole expression of physical intimacy.
5. Interconnectedness of Intimacy Types:
- Dr. Rosenau's figure illustrates that sexual intimacy is built on the foundation of bonding and coupling types of physical connection.
- True physical intimacy in marriage is depicted as a holistic combination of various forms of connection, including hand-holding, eye contact, hugs, listening, warmth, kissing, flirting, and romance.
6. The Importance of Green and Purple Types:
- The article suggests that without the foundational Green and Purple types of physical connection, the sexual aspect of intimacy may lack the depth and richness for which it is designed.
In conclusion, the article provides a comprehensive perspective on physical intimacy, emphasizing its diverse facets and the interconnectedness of different types. Dr. Doug Rosenau's color-coded system serves as a valuable framework for understanding and cultivating meaningful connections within relationships.
