How Can I Be Sure The Ashes I Received Are Really My Loved One? (2024)

As a general rule, it’s safe to assume that if you use a reputable crematory the ashes in your possession are, in fact, your loved one. If you’re still skeptical, here are some of the strict protocols they follow:

TAGS

When the body is picked up it’s ID’ed and “tagged” (i.e. toe tag). This includes the name and date-of-birth of the person. (Note: It can also be an ankle bracelet.) Every time the body moves locations the tag is checked. This is not an act that is brushed over or taken lightly. Before the body is put into the oven, the tags are checked a final time.

IDENTIFICATION DISK

How Can I Be Sure The Ashes I Received Are Really My Loved One? (3)

How Can I Be Sure The Ashes I Received Are Really My Loved One? (4)

Before the body goes into the oven, a stainless steel disk around the size of a quarter with a unique number is placed with it. That number is then recorded on the paperwork of the deceased. Since the disk doesn’t melt, it will remain in tact with the ashes that you receive. If you’re really set on IDing the cremains, you could sift through the ashes and find the remaining disk. Not the best way to spend an afternoon, but whatever gives you closure is fine with me.

SEE FOR YOURSELF

If you plan in advance, crematories will allow you to watch the event take place. In some cultures it's normal, but if you're uncomfortable with this option don't feel obligated to do so.

How Can I Be Sure The Ashes I Received Are Really My Loved One? (2024)

FAQs

How Can I Be Sure The Ashes I Received Are Really My Loved One? ›

Before the body goes into the oven, a stainless steel disk around the size of a quarter with a unique number is placed with it. That number is then recorded on the paperwork of the deceased. Since the disk doesn't melt, it will remain in tact with the ashes that you receive.

Are cremated ashes really your loved one? ›

So long as you use a licensed and reputable crematory or Cremation Service, you can assume that the ashes or cremains placed in your urn are indeed your loved one.

How do you know you are getting your loved ones' ashes? ›

Normally two persons are permitted to attend and the superintendent should be advised in advance of this wish. How do I know I shall get the right cremation ashes? As explained, each coffin is identified on arrival and the identity card is placed on the outside of the cremator as soon as the coffin is placed into it.

How do I know cremation ashes are real? ›

When cremation is about to occur an ID number is assigned, and that number is stamped on a metallic coin that accompanies that deceased into the retort (cremation chamber) and stays with the cremated remains to ensure that is the family's loved one.

Is there a way to test ashes? ›

Yes, we offer DNA testing on cremated remains (ashes) to answer this very question. Our services include not only DNA detection but also poison and toxins testing, heavy metal poison testing, and the presence of organic or inorganic materials.

When someone is cremated, do you really get their ashes? ›

After the cremation process is complete, you receive three to seven pounds of remains that look white and feel soft like ashes. What's returned to you is the person's skeleton. Once you burn off all the water, soft tissues, and cremation container/casket, etc., all that's left is bone.

Do ashes hold energy? ›

In the scientific sense, the cremated ashes themselves do not possess any significant energy. The energy that was once within the body has been released during the combustion process and has dissipated into the environment.

How long should you keep a loved one's ashes? ›

While there is no time limit to how long you can store ashes in your home, you may want to consider having the ashes buried in a cemetery or use them to make a piece of jewelry as a keepsake. You also have the option to scatter the ashes in a desired or meaningful location.

How long do cremated ashes last in the ground? ›

According to experts, cremains in the ground will generally stay as they are for decades. While they can technically biodegrade, it's a prolonged process. For example, it could take years before they mix with the soil in a garden.

Can you tell who someone is from their ashes? ›

While finding DNA preserved in cremation ashes is possible, it's unlikely. Some companies offer services to see if a cremation ash sample would potentially hold DNA. Work with a cremation company with specific labeling protocols that they are willing and able to describe to you.

Why is the skull broken during cremation? ›

While the body is burning the soul is thought to seek refuge within the head. The intense heat usually explodes the skull, liberating the soul; when this does not happen spontaneously, the skull is deliberately shattered by blows from a cudgel.

Does DNA remain in cremated ashes? ›

The actual ashes are thus useless as they won't contain DNA. But the bones and teeth could potentially hold some DNA viable for analysis. Fire can, however, damage DNA beyond recognition. How much you're able to identify through DNA testing on burnt remains varies from situation to situation.

What are the white bits in human ashes? ›

The material is not soft and fluffy like wood ashes. It's a grainier substance that is more like coarse sand. That's because it's crushed bones, along with small amounts of salts and other minerals. They range in color from a pasty white to a deep gray.

Do teeth survive cremation? ›

The body parts that do not burn are bone fragments. Teeth usually burn during cremation, but not entirely. Teeth are made up of four different kinds of tissue—the soft tissue (pulp) is burned during cremation, while the toughest tissue (enamel) may survive the cremation.

What color should human ashes be? ›

Ashes are between grey or grey-brown in colour. They are usually mid-to-light grey, but it's normal for them to be darker grey, or to have a brown tinge. The colour of a person's skin doesn't affect the colour of the ashes.

Can I touch ashes? ›

Can I Touch Cremated Ashes? From a scientific standpoint, yes, you can touch ashes. However, the broader answer to this question really comes down to your personal choice. You may feel uncomfortable touching your loved one's ashes because it may be too much to handle emotionally, and that is completely valid.

Are the ashes from cremation real? ›

So yes, the ashes really are the person. Every cremation provider has safety and identification protocols in place to ensure that the proper cremains are returned to the proper family, so you can rest assured the ashes you receive are the ashes of your lost loved one.

Is there any DNA in cremated ashes? ›

Sulfur and most carbon are lost as gases although a relatively small amount of carbon may remain as carbonate. The actual ashes are thus useless as they will not contain DNA. It is the bones and teeth that could potentially hold some DNA viable for analysis.

What does the Bible say about cremation ashes? ›

According to most Biblical study websites, there is no explicit scriptural command for or against cremation. There are no passages that forbid cremation, according to most Biblical scholars.

When you are cremated, are your ashes mixed with others? ›

Their cremation chambers are only designed to fit one adult, which would make it pretty much impossible for two people's remains to come into contact with one another. For this simple reason, you shouldn't ever have to worry about your loved one's remains getting mixed together with someone else's remains.

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