You only have to look at politics to appreciate how the same words are interpreted in wildly different ways depending on who’s listening.
No-one can please everyone all the time, but there are ways to get the best from whoever you’re with.
This article aims to guide you on how to adapt behaviour to improve the impact on others and will help you understand the impact of your behaviour on others.
1. Figure out your style.
We all have a basic motivational style that influences our behaviour. Certain people’s self-worth comes from nurturing others (‘Carers’); for some, it comes from getting results (‘Drivers’); while others achieve inner peace through logic and order (‘Professionals’). A fourth motivational style (‘Adapters’) is a combination of the former three, depending on the situation. Which style do you recognise most in yourself? Knowing this is the first step to managing your impact on others.
2. Spot when you’re overdoing it.
Each style has its benefits, but can become a hindrance when realised to its extreme. Reflect back on an encounter that went awry, despite your best intentions. In what way did your motivational style play a role? How will you recognise the signs next time you’re at risk of overdoing it?
3. Look through their eyes.
Take an educated guess as to the other person’s motivational style – are they a ‘people person’, a ‘just-do-it’ type, a stickler for details or an easy-going adapter? Reflect on your own behaviour using their lens. Your Driver’s push for results could seem reckless to a Professional, for example. Keep this in mind as you interact.
4. Meet them in the middle.
Bearing in mind your style and theirs, consider how you can flex your behaviour to more closely match their motivations. That could mean asking a Carer for their advice, assigning additional responsibility to a Driver or giving a Professional ample time to mull it over.
5. Keep it real.
Doesn’t changing your behaviour to suit someone else make you false? When done badly, yes – and people will see straight through it. But there are ways to manage your impact while remaining authentic. The key is to adapt your style, not abandon it altogether.
