How to Get an Emo Girlfriend (with Pictures) - wikiHow (2024)

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Co-authored byConnell Barrett

Last Updated: December 10, 2023

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   Find elements of emo style that work for you. If you yourself aren’t already emo, you probably don’t want to change overnight, nor is that recommended, since it’s not genuine, even “poser”-like behavior. That said, look for particular emo articles of clothing, accessories, or styles that you do like. Incorporating those into your style might make you more appealing to an emo girl and give her something to ask you about.

   • If you're really not emo and you don't like the style or take to it easily, you don't have to be emo. Sure, emo girls like dark emo guys but if they like you, they'll date you no matter what style you happen to fall into. It's just easier if you are emo in that it gives you some common style interests.
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   Dress in your own emo look. Emo girls tend to be more interested in an emo guy, as long as the style is genuine and works for him specifically. Look for darker clothing in black, gray, or silver. Small amounts of silver jewelry might also complement the look.^[1] Some guys even paint all or some of their nails black.

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   Wear emo hair. Emo hairstyles are varied, but the color tends to be jet black. Brighter emo colors might be blue, maroon, or even pink.^[2] Emo hairstyles could be spikey, or you might have bangs coming down over your forehead, for example. You might also buzz shave the sides or back of your scalp. In general, emo hairstyles tend to be asymmetrical, including varied lengths and sometimes inconsistent scissor cuts.^[3]

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   Be clean. Emo does not mean dirty, and emo girls like most other people, prefer their friends and partners to be clean. So remember the basics: take regular showers, wear deodorant, and wash your hands frequently. Don’t overdo it with cologne or deodorant; just aim to smell pleasant.

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   Learn emo music. This could be fun, especially if you already like emo music or bands that are considered emo. Emo girls are typically into rock bands but possibly other genres and subgenres as well.

   • Do research, including research into local bands. She will most likely bring up bands, asking you if you have heard of them. You will seem much more interesting if you know about certain bands that she knows, and you can have comfortable conversations.
   • If you don't know a band that she brings up, don't lie. Admit that you’re not familiar with the group, and ask her to explain. It’s not the end of the world, and she’ll probably appreciate that you’ve taken an interest in her music.
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   Understand poetry. Poetry appreciation can be an acquired taste, but knowing some of the basics can help you better understand emo girls. You can, of course, write emo poetry yourself, but if you’re not the literary type, you might want to read and learn about emo poetry and poets, since emo girls are often interested in poetry.

   • Emo poetry often includes subjects like darkness or blackness, loneliness, isolation, broken heartedness, un-holiness, murder, and death generally. Emo writers might include Edgar Alan Poe, Bram Stoker, or H.P. Lovecraft, although these might also be considered gothic or horror writers.
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   Be conversant in graphic art. Artistic subjects that interest emos are similar to the literary subjects that they like. Graphic art might also include comic or graphic novel images. Some art is more colorful than just the grays and blacks in emo clothing.^[4] Even if you’re not interested in art that is emo per se, being able to discuss art that you are interested in might be a good conversation topic with an emo girl.

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   Know how to distinguish between emo, goth, and punk. Goth and punk girls are different and wear different types of clothing. For example, punks might have mohawks, and goths might wear skirts, but emos do not do either. These differences are fine, but show that socially you’re dealing with a different type of girl whose interests might not be the same. Therefore, your approach would need to be different too.

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   Be emotionally aware. You don’t have to wear your heart on your sleeve to be emo, but emos, as the name itself says, tend to be closely connected to their emotional side, if not more emotionally expressive. Take note of the emotions that your emo crush might be having. If you feel comfortable, you might even ask her how she’s feeling in an open-ended way that doesn’t assume you already know.

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   Compliment the girl on her looks.^[5] These shouldn’t be sappy, obvious comments, but something pertaining to her emo style. Emo girls tend to be obsessed with their look, especially their hair. If they change their hair for a day, bring it up and say that you like it. It will make them feel good about themselves, and they will feel much more comfortable with you, knowing that you respect—and like—their style.

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   Be romantic.^[6] Emo girls love romantic guys. What kinds of guys do you think are in the novels and poems they read and write? This might also inspire some gift ideas. Good gift ideas once you're dating could be black or red roses and handwritten love poems with quotes from their favorite songs.

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   Don't be afraid to show your emotions. Don't start crying for no reason, but if you hide your emotions and don't talk about how you feel, you might alienate an emo girl. You don’t have to be sappy when doing this. For example, you can talk about daily frustrations, family or friend conflicts, issues at work or school, hopes and dreams, or any of your musical or artistic interests.

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   Share a secret. This is only if you’re comfortable with the girl and have been speaking to her for a bit. It also doesn’t have to be a major secret, but sharing something secretive or private will show that you are interested in her. It will also show that you’re in touch with your emotional side since you’re opening up to her.

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   Find an emo girl you like. Just because you’re looking for an emo girlfriend doesn’t mean you’re looking for any emo girlfriend. You probably already have a girl in mind, but make sure she’s the type of person you’d want to date and be friends with regardless of her emo style.

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   Don't be a jerk! Emos don’t like jerks, particularly if jerks remind them of jocks or guys that use women. Emo girls would rather date a shy and modest quiet guy than a loud and obnoxious guy who everyone thinks is so cool.

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   Don’t avoid her. Sometimes if you like a girl, you feel shy towards her. It's okay to feel shy, but don't avoid an interest, as you might miss out on an opportunity. Emo girls might seem more aloof, but they won’t appreciate feeling avoided or rejected.

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   Ask her out! Don’t make a big deal about it. After you’ve made some sort of positive connection, let her know that you like her by asking her out, compliment her by telling her she has great style.^[7] Try to do something that she’s interested in or something that you’ve already discussed. Take things slow and let your relationship grow. Respect her interests and emotions in the process and you’ll be on your way to a relationship.

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