How to Give Someone a Hickey: 15 Steps (with Pictures) - wikiHow (2024)

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1Understanding Hickeys

2Making Your Mark

3Hiding a Hickey

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Giving your partner a hickey in the middle of a passionate make-out session can feel amazing, as well as playfully mark them as "yours." But how do you actually give someone a hickey, and what’s the best technique? We’ll walk you through everything you need to know about hickeys—what they look like, what they feel like, and how you can become a hickey expert.

Part 1

Part 1 of 3:

Understanding Hickeys

  1. 1

    Know what a hickey is. A hickey, also known as a "love bite" or "kiss mark" is essentially a bruise caused by sucking or aggressively kissing another person's skin. It is initially red in color, due to broken blood vessels beneath the skin. It will later turn purple or dark brown as it heals.[1]

  2. 2

    Understand why you would want to give someone a hickey. Hickeys are a mark of passion. They are often done in the heat of the moment. Contrary to popular belief, hickeys should be shared as a token of physical affirmation and pleasure as opposed to showing ownership over a partner.[2]

  3. 3

    Always ask for permission first. A hickey is a sexual mark, which makes it inappropriate for school, work, or visiting grandparents. Some people may wish to avoid the embarrassment of being caught with a hickey, so it is important to check in with whoever is receiving the hickey to see what they are comfortable with.

    • In addition, receiving a hickey can be somewhat painful, which is a mood killer for some people. However, some people enjoy this aspect of the experience.

Part 2

Part 2 of 3:

Making Your Mark

  1. 1

    Build up the tension. Don't just dive directly onto your partner's neck and go in for the hickey. Spend some time kissing and French kissing first, then move your lips to your partner's throat. Start with light kisses, then move into harder and more insistent kisses around the throat and collarbone. If your partner seems to enjoy it, you're probably clear to move into giving a hickey, but you should always check in with them first.

    • "Hickey" isn't the sexiest word to whisper into someone's ear, so if you've avoided asking for permission until now, you should mention that you'd like to leave a mark on your partner's skin and see how they respond.
  2. 2

    Hickeys work on any skin type, and any section of the body. They are usually found on the neck. However, the skin in the crook of your elbow or on the inner thigh are also pleasurable locations.

    • If you know your partner would be extremely embarrassed at having a visible hickey, don't just put it in the middle of the throat where anyone can see, and ask them where the most comfortable location is.
    • The side or the back of the neck is a good bet if your partner has long hair, or you could go to the collarbones, closer to the shoulder, so the skin can be covered by a regular crew-neck T-shirt.
  3. 3

    Part your lips slightly, and place them on the skin. Imagine you are making the letter "O" with your lips, then press them firmly onto your partner's skin so that you can make a good seal, without leaving any gaps for the air to escape. Try to keep your mouth soft and inviting as you do this, instead of going into a hard pucker.[3]

  4. 4

    Suck the skin. The key here is to suck hard enough to break the capillaries just beneath the skin, but not so hard that you cause your partner too much pain. You will need to suck for 20 to 30 seconds in order to make a mark. Remember:

    • Keep your teeth out of the way. You don't want them digging painfully into your partner's skin. Teeth can be used lightly to intensify the pleasure of the experience if that is what your partner desires.
    • Break up the sucking. If 30 solid seconds of hickey-making strikes you as too weird, try 10 seconds, some kissing, then another 10 seconds in the same spot, and so on.
    • Control the amount of spit in your mouth. You don't want to be leaving a creepy drip of slobber on your partner's neck as you give a hickey, so try to swallow back any excess.
  5. 5

    End it smoothly. When you're done sucking, try laying a few gentle kisses on the area, which probably feels more sensitive now. Resume making out as usual.

  6. 6

    Wait a few minutes for the visible hickey to appear. Just as when you get a bruise, you won't be able to see the hickey immediately. It should show up after 5 or 10 minutes, and could be anywhere from light pink to dark purple.

  7. 7

    Make it darker if this is something your partner would like. To achieve this, return to the same spot and repeat the process again. Or move to another location if requested.

  8. 8

    Stop if you're asked to. Maybe your partner thinks they're cool with having a hickey, but they hate the way that it feels while you're doing it. Or your partner decides they can't risk their parents or employer seeing the mark. Always respect your partner's wishes if they say "no," even if you've already started the process. A hickey is sometimes seen as a mark of trust, so abusing that trust is not okay.

Part 3

Part 3 of 3:

Hiding a Hickey

  1. 1

    Use concealer. A little heavy make-up or concealer can be pretty effective for covering up a hickey. Just make sure you get a color that matches your skin tone, and to blend it in. [4]

    • Stage make up is extra thick and heavy, so you may resort to that if you're trying to conceal a real whopper.
  2. 2

    Wear a scarf. A scarf is your best friend when attempting to conceal a hickey on your neck, as a scarf is a fashionable item which no one will question you wearing (unless it's 100 degrees outside). Wrap the scarf strategically around your neck, and make sure to check it in a mirror from time to time to make sure the material hasn't moved, leaving your hickey exposed.[5]

    • Other options for covering a neck hickey include wearing a turtleneck (again, when weather conditions allow) or wearing your hair down, if it's long enough.
  3. 3

    Cover it with a band aid. A band aid will effectively cover up a hickey and give it time to heal away from the prying eyes of the world.

  4. 4

    Try to speed up the healing. Arnica cream is said to speed up the healing of bruises, so it may also be effective for clearing up hickeys. There are numerous other home remedies that supposedly help to speed up healing, such as applying an ice pack, rubbing the hickey with a comb, scraping the hickey with a coin and covering the hickey with toothpaste.[6]

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  • Question

    What’s the best place to give someone a hickey?

    How to Give Someone a Hickey: 15 Steps (with Pictures) - wikiHow (18)

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    How to Give Someone a Hickey: 15 Steps (with Pictures) - wikiHow (19)

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    You can give someone a hickey anywhere you like, as long as they’re okay with it. If they want to be able to hide the hickey, do it in a place that will be covered by their clothes or hair.

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    Do hickeys feel good?

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    This can vary from one person to another. For many people, hickeys are pleasurable, or at least painless. However, some people might find them a little bit painful—although not everyone considers that to be a drawback! Experiment with your partner to discover what works for both of you.

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    Are hickeys dangerous?

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    Typically, hickeys are not dangerous. However, someone with an active oral herpes infection or open cold sore may be able to pass the virus to their partner while giving them a hickey. In rare cases, hickeys can also cause mild scarring.

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      Tips

      • To heal a hickey faster, put a wet spoon in the freezer. When it has iced over, take it out and let it thaw a bit until it's nice and cool. Press the spoon against your hickey to cut the swelling.[7] Then use a soft toothbrush and swipe the hickey from the outside in to get the blood flowing and to heal the capillaries.

        ⧼thumbs_response⧽

        Helpful57Not Helpful16

      • Always remember to be gentle and try your best not to hurt your boyfriend/girlfriend.

        ⧼thumbs_response⧽

        Helpful88Not Helpful23

      • Bite a little bit if you feel comfortable. Just a little nip. That's also something someone might not enjoy, so watch for signs of discomfort, or it could be extremely sexy and just pick up the romance further.

        ⧼thumbs_response⧽

        Helpful48Not Helpful12

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      Warnings

      • Skip the hickey if your partner has hemophilia.[8] Also, be aware that if your partner is anemic, the hickey might be much bigger and more noticeable.

        ⧼thumbs_response⧽

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      • Receiving a hickey can be painful. If you're the recipient, and you don’t like the way it feels, pull away and tell your partner to stop.

        ⧼thumbs_response⧽

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      About This Article

      wikiHow is a “wiki,” similar to Wikipedia, which means that many of our articles are co-written by multiple authors. To create this article, 250 people, some anonymous, worked to edit and improve it over time. This article has been viewed 13,532,483 times.

      674 votes - 76%

      Co-authors: 250

      Updated: January 31, 2023

      Views:13,532,483

      Categories: Kissing

      Article SummaryX

      When you give someone a hickey, you’re really giving them a small bruise from sucking on their skin. Before you plant one on someone, definitely ask for permission, since hickeys are hard to cover up and they might not want a visible hickey on them. Once you have their consent, press your open lips against their neck and suck in to create suction. Keep your lips planted on their neck and continue sucking in for at least a few seconds. The longer you suck on them, the darker their hickey’s going to be. When you're finished, stop sucking and release your lips. That’s all there is to it! If your hickey turns out too dark or big, applying a cold compress while it’s still fresh can help it fade, or you can use concealer to make it less noticeable. To learn how to hide a hickey with concealer or a scarf, scroll down!

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      How to Give Someone a Hickey: 15 Steps (with Pictures) - wikiHow (2024)

      FAQs

      How do you give someone a hickey all the time? ›

      Draw in your breath and suck; it should create a bit of a vacuum effect. Teeth aren't needed to cause a hickey — suction alone will do it — but you can mix in a bit of light biting and nibbling here if your partner is interested in that.

      How do you get someone a hickey? ›

      To give your partner a hickey, make an O with your lips and press them firmly on your partner's skin. Seal your love with your lips and leave no room for air. Freely express your wild side by sucking hard enough to break capillaries. However, remember your partner should moan with pleasure and not pain.

      Where can I give a secret hickey? ›

      5 Best Places To Give Hickey To Woman
      • Neck: This is one of the most common areas of the body women like to receive hickeys on. ...
      • Inner Thighs: This is another erogenous zone that is quite underrated. ...
      • Butt: Give hickeys on the butt while you going down on her to explore how she likes it.
      Nov 5, 2019

      What do hickeys look like at first? ›

      Your hickey will start off as a reddish mark under your skin. This is caused by the blood that leaks from the damaged blood vessels. With a day or two, the hickey will appear darker as the hemoglobin in your blood changes color.

      How long do hickeys last on your breast? ›

      If left alone, a hickey will fade on its own in about 10 days to 2 weeks. Your body will slowly break down the bits of blood that sit under the skin and reabsorb them. The bruise will darken a bit after the first few days and begin to change colors until it fades entirely.

      Do some people get hickeys easily? ›

      Some People Are More Susceptible To Hickeys Than Others

      According to Skotnicki, people with thinner or more sensitive skin also end up with hickeys much easier than others, especially if their partner is sucking hard. With thin skin, blood vessels are closer to the surface, so it doesn't take much to injure them.

      Do giving hickeys hurt? ›

      Do hickeys hurt? If your partner gives you a hickey, the area might be a little sore for the first day or two afterward. You might also experience a tiny bit of swelling. You shouldn't have any serious pain or swelling, though.

      Is A hickey Painful? ›

      "Hickeys don't always feel good. For some people they do, for others they find it painful," Dr. Jaber says. If you do it find it painful, that could be a sign that hickeys aren't your thing.

      Are hickeys inappropriate? ›

      You can get rid of hickeys after some time passes, but there is nothing to be ashamed of if you get or want to give hickeys. Some people prefer having a physical reminder of romantic love, while others prefer to cover them up or not get them at all, and all preferences are valid.

      Is hickey on breast safe? ›

      While these marks can be embarrassing, or even traumatic, they are physically harmless. In other words, they do not cause cancer.

      Why are hickeys a turn on? ›

      "It's not the hickey itself that's making you aroused, it's the act of kissing that's causing the arousal," Dr. Jaber says. For some people, it can feel good to get kissed on the neck. The neck is full of nerve-endings, which can make a kiss there a lot more pleasurable.

      How long do hickeys kiss? ›

      Hickeys can last anywhere from 2 days to 2 weeks. So if you're trying to hide one, you may spend a long time in turtlenecks or touching up the area with concealer. But there are a few ways to speed up the healing process.

      What does a real hickey look like? ›

      Hickeys are bruises, so they're usually bruise-colored. They can be red, dark red, purple, or dark purple on your skin. The color you're seeing is the broken blood vessels underneath your skin that come to the surface.

      What does it mean if a guy gives you a love bite? ›

      Simply a regular part of a passionate kissing session. Usually the recipients are quite happy to show off to their mates that they're getting some. Although this behaviour is usually reserved for those just beginning their dating lives. By the time you've got your 30th love bite, the novelty just kinda wears off.

      What does neck hickey mean? ›

      /ˈhɪk.i/ (UK love bite) a temporary red mark on someone's skin, often the neck, where someone has sucked or bitten it as a sexual act.

      Why is my hickey turning yellow? ›

      So basically, a hickey goes from a reddish to a blue dark purple to pale green and then sort of a yellow or brownish color. That's for all bruises, just because that's sort of your body's way of healing itself after the capillaries break under the skin and the blood comes out. Hope you learned something!

      Where are good places for hickeys on a girl? ›

      The neck may be the most popular spot, but you can technically give a hickey to any area of sensitive skin. For a less visible and more intimate mark, try giving her a hickey on the top of her breast or the inside of her upper thigh.

      Is rubbing a hickey bad? ›

      Massaging the Area

      Although massage therapy can help promote blood flow and reduce pain, it's not recommended for your hickey. Rubbing a bruise too aggressively can break more blood vessels, making your hickey even larger.

      Is it OK to ask for a hickey? ›

      Should you ask to give someone a hickey? Before you plant one on someone, definitely ask for permission, since hickeys are hard to cover up and they might not want a visible hickey on them. Once you have their consent, press your open lips against their neck and suck in to create suction.

      Is it childish to give hickeys? ›

      Hickeys are like friendship bracelets - juvenile and a little bit childish. While they are great and maybe even significant when you're a kid/teenager, they tend to lose their appeal the older you get.

      How many types of love bite are there? ›

      Based on original papers, reviews and case reports, I classify four types of love bites, which can result under the following four circ*mstances: (1) during consensual sex play (between willing partners), (2) a combination act of consensual sex sliding into sex aggression (between willing partners), (3) during ...

      Is it OK to not hide a hickey? ›

      FAINT IS QUAINT: Flaunting a mild hickey is not such a bad idea. It's normal. It is an obvious hazard of lovemaking, and you are not ashamed of it. That's the signal you are sending if you make no qualms about hiding it.

      Why do neck kisses feel so good? ›

      The neck is also a super sensitive area. The nape of the neck is packed with nerve endings, so even the slightest touch can drive you wild. It builds the anticipation for what's to come next. If you're the one giving the neck kiss, it can also be a turn-on to see how your partner reacts to it.

      Why do guys leave hickeys? ›

      Some people (men and women both!) like giving hickeys because it's fun. Some do it to mark their territory. Some do it because their partners enjoy being marked.

      How is love bite done? ›

      A hickey, hickie or love bite in British English, is a bruise or bruise-like mark caused by kissing or sucking skin, usually on the neck, arm, or earlobe. While biting may be part of giving a hickey, sucking is sufficient to burst small superficial blood vessels under the skin.

      Why did he give me so many hickeys? ›

      If a guy wants to give you a hickey, it could mean that he is attracted to you and that he wants to show his affection for you in a physical way. A hickey is a mark left on the skin when someone sucks on it with their mouth, and it is often seen as a sign of passion and affection.

      What does it mean when a girl gives you a hickey? ›

      “Hickey” is a slang term for a bruise caused by sucking or kissing a person's skin during a passionate moment. A hickey can be a trophy from a pleasing make-out session, but it can also be point of shame: something that a girl feels she must hide from her parents and teachers.

      How do you tell if she has a hickey? ›

      Most hickeys range from red to purple.

      They can be red, dark red, purple, or dark purple on your skin. The color you're seeing is the broken blood vessels underneath your skin that come to the surface. Regular bruises sometimes change colors as they heal, but hickeys generally stay the same color as they fade.

      Does love bite feel good? ›

      "Hickeys don't always feel good. For some people they do, for others they find it painful," Dr. Jaber says. If you do it find it painful, that could be a sign that hickeys aren't your thing.

      How do you give a painless love bite? ›

      Try to keep your mouth soft and inviting as you do this, instead of going into a hard pucker. Suck the skin. The key here is to suck hard enough to break the capillaries just beneath the skin, but not so hard that you cause your partner too much pain. You will need to suck for 20 to 30 seconds in order to make a mark.

      Why does he bite my neck? ›

      It means that he's really into you… he's feeling very passionate… and he just can't control himself. Consider this a great compliment that you can be the source of such great arousal. This type of passion doesn't happen for many people. Keep this guy close to you if you really like him.

      What does a hickey feel like? ›

      Do hickeys hurt? If your partner gives you a hickey, the area might be a little sore for the first day or two afterward. You might also experience a tiny bit of swelling. You shouldn't have any serious pain or swelling, though.

      Are hickeys unhealthy? ›

      No, hickeys don't cause cancer, and they aren't dangerous. A hickey is a bruise that forms when a person sucks and lightly bites an area on another person's body, causing the blood vessels under the skin to break. While some people enjoy giving or getting hickeys, other people may find them painful.

      Are hickeys damaging? ›

      A hickey shouldn't cause any real problems, but see a doctor if: The hickey doesn't go away after a couple of weeks. The bruise is very sore. You notice other bruises on your body, especially if you don't know how you got them.

      What does hickey kiss mean? ›

      A hickey is a mark which someone has on their body as a result of being bitten by their partner when they were kissing or making love.

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