If you want your compliments to stand out from the crowd, consider offering them in unique ways. Compliments delivered in unusual ways will be remembered, and showcase your ability to think creatively. This may be especially important if you live with social anxiety disorder (SAD), as your social skills may be lacking.
1. Choose Unique Words
People tend to overuse the same bland words when giving compliments. Allow your message to stand out by choosing unique words that you don't hear every day. Examples might include that your husband looks "dapper" or your girlfriend is a "phenomenal" athlete. Just be sure that your words are genuine: otherwise, your compliment may come across as over-the-top and not sincere.
2. Use Words From a Different Language
What could be more fun than learning a few words in a new language so that you can use them for a compliment? Adjectives from other languages are particularly useful. For example, "guapo" means handsome in Spanish. If the person you are speaking to has a native tongue other than English, choosing a compliment in that language will win you many points, both for originality and thoughtfulness. Finally, if a foreign language seems daunting, how about trying your hand at sign language? Find a video tutorial on Youtube, and then share what you have learned with friends and familyso that they will understand what you are signing.
3. Customize Your Compliments
Tailor the compliment to the individual, using inside jokes that only the two of you will understand. For example, once you've learned those sign language maneuvers, use them to give compliments to family members that only they will understand. They will feel special knowing that the compliments are designed just for them.
4. Make a Celebrity Comparison
If you have a favorite celebrity, consider telling your significant other how much more attractive they are than that person. For example, tell your partner that they are "better looking than Tom Cruise" or "funnier than Adam Sandler." In these situations, it is okay to stretch the truth a bit—your partner will still appreciate knowing the qualities in them that you find attractive.
5. Give a Written Compliment
Not everyone feels comfortable sharing compliments in person—especially those who suffer from social anxiety. Don't feel that you can't share your compliments if you are too nervous. Instead, take the time to send a handwritten note (in a timely manner) to the person you wish to compliment.
Write a note to your aunt telling her how much you enjoyed your last visit. Send an email to a coworker praising a job well done at the office. Send a card thanking a person who gave you a gift. Compliments offered in writing have just as much impact—and often more.
6. Compliment Using Your Eyes
A long stare is a hidden form of compliment. These types of stares work best if you are out on a date. In essence, you are communicating the idea that you can't take your eyes off the other person. Be sure only to use the stare type of compliment when appropriate, such as when you are with someone who you know is also attracted to you.
7. Compliment by Text
Can you compliment by text? Yes of course. Just keep them fairly short, and avoid the use of text speak. Be aware that not everyone checks their phone regularly, so don't feel bad if you don't get a reply right away.
Remember the golden rule of compliments—they aren't given to receive anything in return, just to make the other person feel good.
8. Ready-Made Compliments
Are you experiencing a drought of compliments in your household? Make it easier on everyone by having ready-made compliments for people to grab and share. Create a printable tear-off sheet with compliments that you can share. Or, create a compliment jar, with ideas such as "You are amazing," "You are inspiring," or "You are wonderful." Customize them for your family and you will have a fun time sharing the compliments that you devised together.
9. Technology for Compliments
There are even apps for giving compliments! The "Kindr" app allows you to share compliments with other users of the app. Or, you can try sharing compliments on social media sites. If you post a compliment on the wall of a Facebook friend, all of their friends will see it, giving it that much more weight.
10. Ask Someone for Help as a Compliment
One of the easiest and most impactful ways to offer a compliment is to ask someone to help you do something. In essence, you are telling the person that you value their skills and abilities, without having to directly tell them. Ask for an opinion, help with technology or advice about a troubling situation. The other person will be flattered that you thought to ask him.
A Word From Verywell
If you live with social anxiety disorder, you may find it hard to offer compliments. Start small by giving a simple compliment to someone whom you know well. Work your way up from there toward more challenging types of compliments. Over time, you will find that the act of giving compliments grows easier and more natural.
10 Worst Compliments You Can Give Someone
Sources
Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read our editorial process to learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.
- Ahrens LM, Mühlberger A, Pauli P, Wieser MJ. Impaired visuocortical discrimination learning of socially conditioned stimuli in social anxiety.Soc Cogn Affect Neurosci. 2015;10(7):929-937.
- Lissek S, Levenson J, Biggs AL, et al. Elevated fear conditioning to socially relevant unconditioned stimuli in social anxiety disorder. Am J Psychiatry. 2008;165(1):124-132.
- Psychology Today.The Art of the Compliment.
- Psychology Today.9 Types of Compliments and Why They Work (Or Not).
- University of Minnesota.American Compliments.
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By Arlin Cuncic, MA
Arlin Cuncic, MA, is the author of "Therapy in Focus: What to Expect from CBT for Social Anxiety Disorder" and "7 Weeks to Reduce Anxiety." She has a Master's degree in psychology.
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What is your feedback?
As someone deeply immersed in the realm of social dynamics and communication, particularly in the context of social anxiety disorder (SAD), I can attest to the transformative power of well-crafted compliments. My expertise spans not only theoretical knowledge but practical applications, with a keen understanding of the psychological intricacies involved in interpersonal interactions.
Now, delving into the insightful article about making compliments stand out, I'd like to draw attention to the comprehensive set of strategies presented:
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Choose Unique Words: The recommendation to use distinctive and less common words resonates with my understanding of the impact of language on communication. Employing words like "dapper" or "phenomenal" adds an element of novelty and sincerity to compliments.
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Use Words From a Different Language: Drawing on adjectives from other languages aligns with the idea of expanding one's linguistic repertoire for effective communication. The suggestion to learn and incorporate words like "guapo" in Spanish showcases a nuanced approach to complimenting.
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Customize Your Compliments: Tailoring compliments to individual preferences and shared experiences is a strategy deeply rooted in interpersonal dynamics. The advice to use inside jokes and personalized gestures is a testament to the significance of context in compliment-giving.
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Make a Celebrity Comparison: Leveraging celebrity comparisons for compliments involves a nuanced understanding of individual preferences. This technique, when executed thoughtfully, can enhance the perceived value of the compliment.
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Give a Written Compliment: Recognizing that not everyone is comfortable expressing compliments verbally aligns with my awareness of the diverse ways people communicate. The emphasis on written compliments, whether in notes or emails, acknowledges the importance of accommodating different communication styles.
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Compliment Using Your Eyes: The subtle art of complimenting through non-verbal cues, such as prolonged eye contact, reflects an understanding of the power dynamics at play in interpersonal relationships.
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Compliment by Text: Acknowledging the prevalence of digital communication, the suggestion to compliment via text acknowledges the evolving nature of social interactions.
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Ready-Made Compliments: Introducing the concept of ready-made compliments, whether through tear-off sheets or compliment jars, showcases a creative and practical approach to fostering positive communication within families.
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Technology for Compliments: The mention of apps like "Kindr" and utilizing social media platforms for compliments reflects a contemporary understanding of technology's role in interpersonal connections.
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Ask Someone for Help as a Compliment: The strategy of seeking assistance as a form of complimenting underlines the importance of recognizing and appreciating others' skills and abilities.
In conclusion, the article's insights align seamlessly with my deep understanding of interpersonal dynamics, and I appreciate the evidence-based approach demonstrated through the inclusion of reputable sources and references. The provided strategies offer a holistic guide for individuals, especially those dealing with social anxiety disorder, to navigate the art of complimenting with finesse and authenticity.
