How to Hold Hands With Your Girl/Boy Friend: 7 Steps (2024)

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Co-authored byJohn Keegan

Last Updated: July 11, 2022Approved

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If you have a significant other, you know that there comes a time when you feel the urge to hold their hand. This is normal. It's okay to show affection and love to your significant other. Typically, couples start holding hands on the third day of "going out" at the earliest. Read on to find out more on how to hold hands, and how to react to your partner if they don't seem to want to hold your hand: Just try the next time you guys go out.

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  1. 1

    Know if he is not ready. If you are out to dinner, and he is across from you, you can reach for his hand over or under the table. If he pulls away, stop, he is not ready! You never want to push your partner into doing something they don't want to do. If you pressure him, he may feel awkward and break up with you. If you are sitting next to each other, you can easily hold his hand, without stretching your arms out. If you are watching a movie, or a play, he may put his arm around you. If so you can reach your arm out and rub his hand (the one on your shoulder, or his free one). He may bring his hand up, and you can lock fingers.

    • If he does pull away or seems uncomfortable with holding hands, STOP, and whatever you do, don't seem offended. If you do, he may feel like you are mad at him because of his opinion and that is not a good situation. You may apologize, or just slightly nod, and show you understand.
  2. 2

    Put your hand near theirs. This works well if you are sitting or walking next to each other, but make sure their hand is at their side. Hold your hand very close to theirs, even maybe touching a bit, but look straight ahead. Don't freak out or stare down at your hands.

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  3. 3

    Move your hand even closer, and soon, very slowly put your hand in theirs. Try brushing your hand against theirs. Say that you want to compare your skin tones. This is a great way to get closer to holding their hand. Close it around their hand. This would be a good time to look up at them. If they just stare at you, smile. If they pull away, just quit all together. They are just not ready to do this yet.

    • Holding their hands and looking into their eyes can create a nice tension, which is perfect for a first kiss.
  4. 4

    Watch for signals. If your significant other seems to be enjoying themself, holding hands with you, this is good. They are comfortable with this, and if you think you are ready, intertwine your fingers in theirs. They will eat this up!

    • If your partner doesn't seem interested in holding hands, it doesn't hurt to ask what's the matter. It's possible that they're simply nervous or sweating too much.
  5. 5

    Proceed at the right pace! You are holding hands with your cutie! Yay! If they don't like it, don't worry! They are nervous and just not ready! If they pull away, do not try to hold hands with them again that day!

  6. 6

    Move on to hugs, more touching, and maybe a little kissing! This is a slower process. Do not move into this too fast. If you do, they will think that you are a creep and will make fun of you behind your back.

  7. 7

    Be understanding! It's okay if they either jerk away, or look down. Everyone has their own speed. If you freak out they will understand. But just keep trying different days until they are ready. If you don't feel comfortable, you are okay! Holding hands isn't the most important thing to do in a relationship.

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  • Question

    What can I do if my boyfriend is ready to go to the next stage but I am not?

    How to Hold Hands With Your Girl/Boy Friend: 7 Steps (10)

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    Then you let him know how you feel and you don't go on to the next stage until you are ready. Don't let anyone pressure you into anything you're uncomfortable with.

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    What should I do if my hands get sweaty when I am nervous?

    How to Hold Hands With Your Girl/Boy Friend: 7 Steps (11)

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    Just inconspicuously wipe it on your side.

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    What if they don't want to hold my hand?

    How to Hold Hands With Your Girl/Boy Friend: 7 Steps (12)

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    If they don’t want it hold your hand, don’t force it. They might just not be ready yet, or they might not like holding hands. Not everybody does.

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      Tips

      • Don't freak out. Remain calm.

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      • Just stay calm and try not to be uncomfortable.

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      • Put lotion on your hands because sometimes your hands can be ashy; nobody wants to hold an ashy hand.

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      Warnings

      • This could possibly ruin a relationship if tried too early in a relationship, but typically not.

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      About This Article

      How to Hold Hands With Your Girl/Boy Friend: 7 Steps (28)

      Co-authored by:

      John Keegan

      Dating Coach

      This article was co-authored by John Keegan. John Keegan is a Dating Coach and motivational speaker based in New York City. With over 10 years of professional experience, he runs The Awakened Lifestyle, where he uses his expertise in dating, attraction, and social dynamics to help people find love. He teaches and holds dating workshops internationally, from Los Angeles to London and from Rio de Janeiro to Prague. His work has been featured in the New York Times, Humans of New York, and Men's Health. This article has been viewed 125,600 times.

      13 votes - 92%

      Co-authors: 77

      Updated: July 11, 2022

      Views:125,600

      Categories: Affection

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      Reader Success Stories

      • How to Hold Hands With Your Girl/Boy Friend: 7 Steps (29)

        Anel Brown

        Jun 5, 2021

        "He's talking about school and I listen quietly planning my move. I slowly hover my hand over his and he feels..." more

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      How to Hold Hands With Your Girl/Boy Friend: 7 Steps (2024)

      FAQs

      How should a guy hold a girl's hand? ›

      Place your hand on top of hers.

      Just move your hand so that it is over her hand and gently pat or touch her hand. If you feel more comfortable, you can even give her hand a few gentle squeezes or even a massage. This can be a great hand holding technique if you're sitting at a restaurant or even watching a movie.

      How many dates before holding hands? ›

      If you have a significant other, you know that there comes a time when you feel the urge to hold their hand. This is normal. It's okay to show affection and love to your significant other. Typically, couples start holding hands on the third day of "going out" at the earliest.

      How to smoothly hold a girl's hand? ›

      You could gently put your hand on top of hers if you're sitting side-by-side or across from each other. Or, if you're standing or walking together, try placing your palm against hers, then interlacing your fingers together. For a cute and flirty alternative to a full hand-hold, lock pinkies with her instead.

      Where should a girl put her hands when kissing a guy? ›

      Rest your hands lightly on the other person's waist, or gently grip their hips while kissing them. Hold hands. Try holding one of their hands and caressing it lightly with your hand. You can also try grabbing both of their hands and interlocking your fingers with theirs during the kiss.

      Can I hold hands with my guy friend? ›

      If it's okay with you and he, then it's okay. Holding hands isn't going to hurt anyone so it's completely up to you two. It's nice to do your own thing when it's not harmful to others.

      How to tell if a girl wants to hold hands? ›

      through physical affection. If she grabs your arm or holds on to it while walking, she may be open to holding hands soon. Also, pay attention to indirect gestures like high fives that linger. or her pulling you along by the hand to show you something. Flirting, eye contact, and mirroring your movements.

      What date to kiss? ›

      A dating website recently conducted a survey, and found that 45% of people say the second date is the perfect time to have the first kiss. 26% say the third date . . . and 15% say the first date. That said, 68% of singles say they'd be open to kissing someone on Date #1.

      Do you kiss before holding hands? ›

      Before you go for a first kiss, you need to have gotten physical to some extent. This includes holding hands or touching. According to psychologist Dr. Chris Hart, this is how you will know that something is going on between the two of you.

      How to initiate a kiss? ›

      If you're about to kiss someone for the first time, make sure you're reading the situation correctly by asking verbally. From there, you can set the moment with your body language — moving in a bit closer, cupping their cheek — or use both words and actions. Consent isn't just important. It can also be pretty sexy.

      How do guys feel when they hold a girls hand? ›

      No matter how intimate you have got with her , hand holding actually makes you feel how close you truly are and how much she means to you. The feeling is divine. It shows how much you respect your relationship and how much you love her , It makes you feel like a true MAN.

      What happens when a boy holds a girls hand? ›

      Holding hands is often an expression of romance between two people, especially if you're dating. Family or friends also hold hands to express affection. Holding hands with interlaced fingers often signifies the start of a strong relationship. A more relaxed grip might indicate a longer, more established bond.

      How does a guy hold your hand if he likes you? ›

      He's trying to bond with you

      Another similar sign is when he interlocks his fingers with yours; he is trying to tell you that he wants to always be by your side. So therefore, if you are wondering why do guys rub your thumb while holding hands, they are trying to connect with you.

      Why do guys want to hold a girls hand? ›

      It can be considered one of the most common gestures to let someone know that you're there for them. Guys generally do not engage in holding hands as much as girls do. If a guy usually reaches out for your hand, it could signify less of a platonic and more romantic relationship.

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