How to Kiss at a Young Age: 15 Steps (with Pictures) - wikiHow (2024)

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1Finding Someone to Kiss

2Softening Your Lips and Getting Good Breath

3Making the Move

4Ending the Kiss

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Co-authored byEddy Baller

Last Updated: December 5, 2023Fact Checked

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If you are 12-15 years old and are very anxious about kissing another teen, that's okay! These feels are totally normal, and there's no pressure to have your first kiss. Kiss someone when you feel ready and you like the person. When it's time for the kiss, lean in 90% of the way, and let the other person meet you the rest of the way. After the kiss, act normal! Everyone has to have their first kiss at some point, so you don't have to overthink it too much.

Things You Should Know

  • Flirt with someone in a quiet, private space to make them comfortable and ditch distractions before you go in for the kiss.
  • Afterwards, compliment them for being a good kisser and keep the conversation going to boost their confidence and avoid awkward silence.
  • Brush your teeth and apply chapstick beforehand to keep your breath and lips fresh.

Part 1

Part 1 of 4:

Finding Someone to Kiss

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  1. 1

    Get to know someone you think is really neat and interesting. Try to find someone who strikes your interest. Maybe they are very cute, smart, funny, or unique. Chat with this person to build a friendship, and start to flirt with them to show your interest. This could be a kid in your class or someone in your after-school club.[1]

    • This may take some time, but you'll be thankful your kiss was with someone you really like.
    • To flirt, you can start by joking around, complimenting them, and making eye contact.
  2. 2

    Notice their body language to tell if they want to kiss you. If your crush likes you, it won't be too hard to notice. Some promising signs of this include frequent smiles, teasing, poking, tickling, or touching. These are good indicators that your crush may be thinking about kissing you too.[2]

    • If your crush flips their hair, this may be a sign that they are into you
    • If you notice your crush joking with you a lot and trying to make you laugh, they may want to kiss you too.
    • It's always a good idea to think it a kiss is appropriate for the time and the moment before going in for it.[3]

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  3. 3

    Kiss someone when you feel ready, regardless of how old you are. Around ages 12-15, people often start having their first kiss. Don't feel pressured by other people your age kissing people, and don't rush into kissing someone if you are apprehensive. You'll know intuitively when the time feels right.[4]

    • It's perfectly normal to have butterflies in your stomach or feel nervous at the thought of kissing someone.
    • If someone wants to kiss you but you aren't ready, say something like, “Sorry, I don't want to yet,” or “Sorry, I would love to kiss you, but I'm not ready for that right now."[5]
    • A lot of people don't feel safe or comfortable kissing on the first date. This is perfectly normal and you don't have to feel guilty about it.[6]
  4. 4

    Play kissing games with your friends if you can't find a partner. Another way to find someone to kiss is to play games like Truth or Dare and Spin the Bottle. You can kiss someone at random or have a friend try to help you hook up with a hottie. Many people start kissing by playing games with their friends, so give this a shot if you want to kiss someone.[7]

    • For example, tell your friend that you want to kiss someone in particular, and then they can dare the person to kiss you during Truth or Dare.
    • If you play these games, know that you may wind up kissing someone. Be comfortable with the kiss before you play.
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Part 2

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Softening Your Lips and Getting Good Breath

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  1. 1

    Brush your teeth prior to the kiss so your breath is fresh. If you have bad breath, it may make the kiss unpleasant. To prevent this, brush your teeth 2 times a day for 2 minutes. If you know you have a kiss planned, brush your teeth before you see the other person.[8]

    • You can also use mouthwash for extra-fresh breath. Swish the mouthwash around for 30 seconds or so.
    • To freshen your breath throughout the day, use chewing gum or breath mints.
  2. 2

    Use chapstick regularly to get rid of dry skin. To get kissably smooth lips, you can put on chapstick 1-3 times throughout the day. Chapstick hydrates your lips and gets rid of dry skin, so your lips will be smooth and ready for a kiss.[9]

    • For example, put on chapstick after you brush your teeth in the morning and/or right before you go to bed.
  3. 3

    Avoid applying lip gloss right before the kiss so there's no mess. While lipgloss can make your lips look shiny and kissable, it also can make a big, sticky mess if you wear it while kissing. If you are planning a kiss, go without wearing lip gloss that day.

    • You can also wipe it off before the kiss for another option.
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Part 3

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Making the Move

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  1. 1

    Choose a private or semi-private space where you won't be distracted. Ideally, try to find a place without many people around so you can focus solely on the kiss. This can be outside of your school, in a park, at the mall, or at a house, for instance.[10]

    • Avoid kissing during school. This is considered “public display of affection” and you can get in trouble.
    • Don't kiss with you or the other person's parents/guardian(s) around. Since you're still a teenager, they may not find this acceptable.
  2. 2

    Flirt with them so they are more comfortable. If the other person seems nervous, do your best to make them feel relaxed. You can look into the other person's eyes and smile, tell them a funny story or joke, or tease them about a silly comment.[11]

    • This breaks the ice and makes the kiss seem less intimidating.
    • For example, say something like, "You have really pretty eyes," or "I really like that shirt," to compliment them.
    • You can tell a silly knock-knock joke such as, "Knock Knock!" "Who's there?" "Al!" "Al who?" "Al give you a kiss if you open this door!"
  3. 3

    Move your face slowly, aiming to get 90% of the way to their lips. When it's time for the kiss, look your partner in the eyes, and tilt your head the opposite way of your partner. Slowly bring your mouth toward theirs, and close your eyes when you get close.[12] Instead of going all the way in for the kiss, stop when you get about 1in (2.5cm) or so away so they can reciprocate.[13]

    • If you move your head in the same direction as your partner, you may bump heads.
  4. 4

    Let them come the other 10% of the way to ensure they want to kiss you. Wait a brief second for your partner to bring their lips to yours. This way, you know for sure that they want to kiss you too. This is also a fun, flirty way to make the kiss less awkward.[14]

    • If you notice the other person pulling away, stop and apologize. It's okay if they aren't comfortable with the kiss yet. Say something like, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable."
  5. 5

    Press your lips forward with light pressure when you touch lips. To enjoy the kiss, pucker your lips slightly when your partner kisses you back, and let the kiss continue for 2-5 seconds or so. Your partner may not like it if you kiss them too forcefully.[15]

    • This doesn't have to be a long, drawn-out kiss, as that may make it more awkward than it already may be.
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Part 4

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Ending the Kiss

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  1. 1

    Avoid going for the tongue during the first kiss. Aim to deliver a quick, sweet kiss rather than using tongue or a lot of pressure. Then, move your head away from theirs. Using tongue may seem sloppy or extra awkward since you are new to kissing.

    • When you kiss at a young age, this is all you need to worry about. Over time, you can develop your make-out skills.
    • Avoid aggressive kissing, as shoving your tongue down someone else's mouth isn't really a great idea.[16]
  2. 2

    Compliment the other person to boost their confidence. After you kiss the other person, you can also say something like “Wow, that was great,” “You're a good kisser,” or “I enjoyed that.” This reassures the other person that you like them and enjoyed the moment, and it also acts as a transition back into other conversation.

    • You can also say, “Can I kiss you again?” before going in for another smooch.
  3. 3

    Keep the conversation going after the kiss so it's not awkward. To ease you and/or your partner's anxiety, aim to have a natural conversation. If you were discussing your weekend plans, ask your partner a question about it, for instance. You can also bring up a new topic to chat about, such as your upcoming sports game.

    • If you or your partner are quiet after the kiss, you may feel more uncomfortable or start to doubt the kiss.
    • The amount of time to chat for depends on your particular situation. For example, if you kissing someone while saying goodbye and now have to leave, chat for 1-5 minutes or so then politely excuse yourself.
    • If you are playing a kissing game, simply return to the game and let the next player take their turn.
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    Tips

    • Watch movies of kissing scenes if you want to get some ideas and inspiration.[17]

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    • If you're ready to kiss someone, start up a romantic conversation. This will make them more want to kiss you rather than you just kissing them and doing all the work.

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      Helpful108Not Helpful11

    • Don’t trust what you see in movies! They are staged. Also, just enjoy the moment rather than trying to copy a movie scene.

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    How to Kiss at a Young Age: 15 Steps (with Pictures) - wikiHow (28)

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    Warnings

    • Do not kiss someone else unless they are completely comfortable with the situation.

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    References

    1. https://youtu.be/sYqtN1pOCNU?t=4m2s
    2. https://youtu.be/BlJZhk9IpfU?t=3m9s
    3. Maya Diamond, MA. Relationship Coach. Expert Interview. 17 January 2019.
    4. https://youtu.be/sYqtN1pOCNU?t=3m11s
    5. Maya Diamond, MA. Relationship Coach. Expert Interview. 17 January 2019.
    6. Maya Diamond, MA. Relationship Coach. Expert Interview. 17 January 2019.
    7. https://youtu.be/sYqtN1pOCNU?t=4m15s
    8. https://youtu.be/sYqtN1pOCNU?t=1m11s
    9. https://youtu.be/BlJZhk9IpfU?t=2m14s

    More References (8)

    1. https://www.cntraveler.com/story/a-guide-to-kissing-etiquette-around-the-world
    2. Eddy Baller. Dating Coach. Expert Interview. 7 February 2020.
    3. Eddy Baller. Dating Coach. Expert Interview. 7 February 2020.
    4. https://lovedestination.com/dating/the-body-language-of-kissing-9-signs-they-want-to-kiss-you/
    5. https://youtu.be/QR9zbNbLy-U?t=2m28s
    6. https://youtu.be/BlJZhk9IpfU?t=2m2s
    7. Maya Diamond, MA. Relationship Coach. Expert Interview. 17 January 2019.
    8. https://youtu.be/sYqtN1pOCNU?t=1m52s

    About This Article

    How to Kiss at a Young Age: 15 Steps (with Pictures) - wikiHow (42)

    Co-authored by:

    Dating Coach

    This article was co-authored by Eddy Baller. Eddy Baller is a Dating Coach and the Owner of a dating consulting and coaching service, Conquer and Win, based in Vancouver, Canada. Coaching since 2011, Eddy specializes in confidence building, advanced social skills, and relationships. Conquer and Win helps men worldwide have the love lives they deserve. His work has been featured in The Art of Manliness, LifeHack, and POF among others. This article has been viewed 1,111,703 times.

    168 votes - 74%

    Co-authors: 121

    Updated: December 5, 2023

    Views:1,111,703

    Categories: Kissing (Youth)

    Article SummaryX

    If you’re a young teen looking forward to your first kiss, it’s natural to feel a little nervous. But if you take a little time to prepare and make sure that you and your crush both feel ready, you can make it a fun and romantic experience for both of you. If you think you might have an opportunity to kiss someone, brush your teeth ahead of time, use mouthwash, or eat a mint so your breath is nice and fresh. If your lips are dry, put on some lip balm to help make them kissably soft. Look for a chance to spend a little private time with your crush, and wait until both of you are feeling comfortable and relaxed. If you’re not sure whether they’re interested in kissing you, flirt with them a little first and pay attention to how they react. For example, you might say something like, “I love being with you,” or “You look so beautiful right now.” If they smile and make eye contact, move closer to you, or flirt back, they may be into it. To make sure, you can always say something like, “Is it okay if I kiss you?” When you’re ready to make a move, lean in and bring your mouth close to theirs. Close your eyes as you move in, and tilt your head to one side a little so you don’t bump noses. When your face is about 1 inch (2.5 cm) away from theirs, stop and wait for them to respond. If they pull away or ask you to stop, don’t sweat it or try to pressure them to kiss you—just say “sorry” and move on. If they do want to kiss you, they’ll probably lean in and touch their lips to yours. For your first kiss, keep it simple and just press your lips to theirs lightly for 2 to 5 seconds. Avoid using your tongue or applying a lot of pressure. When you’re done, gently pull away. If they seem nervous, say something like, “Wow, that was amazing,” or “You’re a great kisser.” You can also ask if it’s okay to kiss them again. If things feel a little awkward after your kiss, don’t worry—that’s totally normal. You can always break the tension by cracking a silly joke or starting a fun conversation about something you’re both interested in. For more tips, including how to keep your lips and breath nice for kissing, read on!

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    Greetings, I'm an experienced dating coach and relationship expert, Eddy Baller, with a comprehensive understanding of various aspects of youth dating and kissing. I've been actively involved in coaching individuals on building confidence, advanced social skills, and navigating relationships since 2011. My work has been recognized in reputable sources such as The Art of Manliness, LifeHack, and POF, attesting to my expertise in the field.

    Now, delving into the concepts presented in the article about youth dating and kissing, let's break down the key points:

    Finding Someone to Kiss

    1. Getting to Know Someone: The article emphasizes the importance of building a friendship with someone you find interesting before attempting a kiss. This involves chatting, joking, complimenting, and making eye contact to express interest.

    2. Reading Body Language: It suggests paying attention to body language cues such as smiles, teasing, and touching to gauge if the other person is interested in a kiss.

    3. Choosing the Right Time: The article advises not to rush into kissing and to do it when you genuinely feel ready. It encourages open communication, stating if one is not ready for a kiss.

    4. Playing Kissing Games: In the absence of a specific partner, the article suggests playing kissing games like Truth or Dare to create opportunities for kissing.

    Softening Your Lips and Getting Good Breath

    1. Oral Hygiene: The importance of fresh breath is highlighted, recommending brushing teeth and using mouthwash before a planned kiss. Additionally, chewing gum or using breath mints throughout the day is suggested.

    2. Chapstick Application: Regular use of chapstick is recommended to keep lips smooth and ready for a kiss.

    3. Avoiding Lip Gloss: The article advises against wearing lip gloss right before a kiss to prevent messiness.

    Making the Move

    1. Choosing the Right Space: Privacy is crucial, and the article advises finding a private or semi-private space to avoid distractions and focus solely on the kiss.

    2. Flirting: To make the other person comfortable, flirting is recommended. This includes eye contact, smiling, telling funny stories, or teasing.

    3. Approaching for the Kiss: The article suggests moving in slowly, aiming to get 90% of the way to the other person's lips. It emphasizes stopping about 1 inch away to allow the other person to reciprocate the move.

    4. Pressing Lips Forward: It recommends pressing lips forward with light pressure for a short duration, avoiding overly forceful kisses.

    Ending the Kiss

    1. Avoiding the Tongue: The article advises against using tongue during the first kiss, encouraging a quick and sweet kiss instead.

    2. Complimenting the Other Person: After the kiss, complimenting the other person is suggested to boost their confidence and transition back into a natural conversation.

    3. Keeping the Conversation Going: To avoid awkwardness, the article recommends keeping the conversation flowing after the kiss, either by discussing previous topics or introducing new ones.

    In summary, this article provides comprehensive guidance on youth dating and kissing, covering aspects from finding the right person and creating the right atmosphere to softening lips, making the move, and ending the kiss positively. These insights, combined with practical tips, aim to help young individuals navigate the exciting yet anxious experience of a first kiss.

    How to Kiss at a Young Age: 15 Steps (with Pictures) - wikiHow (2024)
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