“It’s important to help normalize the fact that all bodies change, without placing value on these changes as either good or bad, while also reinforcing the concept that commenting on other people’s bodies is problematic,” Dr. Stevens says. “I also recommend encouraging others to focus on other attributes that are so much more meaningful than what someone’s body looks like on any given day.”
That might sound like: “Well, all bodies change over time for a variety of reasons, including yours and mine, so it makes sense that theirs may look different. Personally, though, I was so struck by their glow. Did you happen to notice the way that they seem to make other people feel comfortable with such ease?”
3. “Yes, it is high-calorie, and I’m going to enjoy every single bite.”
For whatever reason (probably diet culture), some people just can’t enjoy food without worrying about how many calories, carbs, or grams of fat are in it. Even worse, they might project that worry onto you by making remarks about what’s on your plate—things like, “You know, that stuffing is really high-calorie!” or “Oh, I could never eat that much!”
“People have varying levels of comfort with confrontation—especially in a holiday setting, surrounded by loved ones,” Leah Tsui, RD, dietitian and owner of Limitless Nutrition in Los Angeles, tells SELF. For this situation, Tsui says, you could try a simple response like: “Thanks for letting me know!'’ or add a little bit of sass by saying, “I had no idea! Wow, thanks!”—and continuing to eat the stuffing.
You can also be more direct, she says, and go with something like: “Why yes, it is high-calorie, and I’m going to enjoy every single bite.” If you’re comfortable, you can also say: “I’d appreciate it if you didn’t make comments about food and calories around me,” or “I'm working on my relationship with food right now and comments like this aren’t helpful.” “It all depends on what feels authentic and safe to you,” Tsui says.
4. “I agree that it’s all delicious! I’m full for now though.”
A friend, family member, or coworker who diets regularly might feel totally out of control at a holiday dinner or party, where food (often the kind dieters try to avoid) is plentiful. Because of that, they may have trouble understanding how someone who’s more at peace with eating can be so calm when surrounded by so much delicious stuff. This might result in comments like, “How are you able to leave pie on your plate!?” or, “I can’t believe you didn’t go back for seconds!”
“Depending on your relationship with the person, you can choose from a variety of responses,” Kate Regan, RD, dietitian and owner of Wholesome Chick Nutrition in Philadelphia, tells SELF.
If you aren’t very close to them, Regan says, you can try something like: “I agree that it’s all delicious! I’m full for now though. How are you spending the rest of your holiday break?” to change the topic. If you feel cornered and they won’t let it go, say, “I need to use the restroom” and walk away.
