Is It Ever Okay to Attend a Wedding Without Giving a Gift? (2024)

FAQs

Is It Ever Okay to Attend a Wedding Without Giving a Gift? ›

An invitation to a wedding is not a quid pro quo situation: Just because you invited someone does not mean they owe you a gift.

In short, the answer is not necessarily, says Swann—you don't have to give a wedding gift if you ultimately send your regrets. Whether you do or don't send a gift, however, will come down to your relationship with the couple.

It's a gesture of goodwill and a lovely way to express your support of the newlyweds. That said, it's highly likely that not every guest at a wedding will oblige. In fact, it's been estimated that between 7 and 10% of guests at a wedding fail to give a gift.

While the social norms of appropriate gift-giving do vary from region to region, it's safe to say that giving a present to the new couple is a widely accepted expectation of wedding attendance. But the fact of the matter is, at least one of your guests will show up to your wedding empty-handed.

In most cases, you don't have have to send a wedding gift; this is particularly true if you RSVP no to a coworker or distant relative's nuptials. You might, however, still want to send the couple a present if you are close, but simply can't attend due to scheduling conflicts.

'No gift' etiquette for the wedding couple

A simple way to manage this is to provide some alternative options, depending on the reason for your request. If it's a matter of space, you might always ask guests to donate cash to either your honeymoon fund, or make a charitable donation in your name instead.

Garringer advises spending as much as you would if you attended the wedding — which would mean around $100 for a close friend or $150 and up for an immediate family member. For more distant relations, a smaller gift is acceptable (or, as we mentioned earlier, a simple "Congratulations!" will do).

At the end of the day, that's truly what matters the most." The bottom line is this: You are not owed a gift, so your only recourse is to let it go. Never ask a guest why they didn't give a gift. Regardless of the situation, it would be impolite to question why they didn't provide one.

For example, Lizzie Post, Emily Post's great-great-granddaughter, believes a wedding invitation is a "big deal invite," and proper wedding gift etiquette requires guests to honor an invitation with a present no matter what.

No, it's not necessary. It's nice if you want to pop $50 in a card or something to cover your meal, but again not a requirement. Not rude.

Why do some people not give gifts? ›

Giving a gift, especially one you want to make a statement, can be a vulnerable experience. “That's why some people get so stressed out giving gifts, because it feels too exposing to express their emotions and like they won't do it right,” Dr. Buchele said.

4. Is it okay to give cash as a wedding gift? Cash gifts are perfectly acceptable, according to Emily Post. In fact, as most millennials are getting married later in life and already have well-stocked homes, they prefer cash to put toward savings or a honeymoon over registry items.

According to the experts, the average wedding gift amount hovers right around $100 to $150, though that can increase or decrease based on how close you are to the couple and whether or not you're attending with a plus one.

Many couples may not wish to receive physical gifts from their guests, whether it's because they have everything they need, they may not have space for extra gifts, or there are other preferred ways to put funds to use. And that's perfectly okay!

No Gifts Invitation Wording

Your presence is present enough. More than anything, we hope that you can make it on the day, so please don't feel obliged in any way. Your presence is present enough, but if you would like to buy us a gift, a contribution towards our honeymoon would be greatly appreciated.

You should not feel obligated to purchase a gift for the couple if you are not invited to the wedding. This “rule” is consistent; if you are invited to a wedding, you should send a gift, regardless of whether you can attend the wedding. If you are not invited, it's not necessary or expected for you to send a gift.