Living Sober (2024)

Someone was trying to tell me the other day that ‘sober’ is a negative word with staid and boring connotations. I told them very clearly that I totally disagreed!

Sober is the one word that beautifully represents the hugely positive transformation I have been through over the past eight years. How can I think negatively about a word that sums up all the many improvements to my life since I stopped drinking alcohol?

I live sober. I think sober. I am sober.

I’m reclaiming the word sober. I refuse to accept that it implies dull, boring or staid.

For me sober is a decidedly sparkly word. It signifies positivity, connectedness, bravery, and authenticity. I’m proud to say I’m sober, and I appreciate every emotion and experience so much more now that I encounter them with a clear, wide open brain (and not a boozy, blurry numbness).

Sober life is more real. Sober fun is more authentic fun. Sober sadness teaches me so much. Sober celebrations are more genuine. Sober anger is easier to understand. Sober pride is more heart-swelling. Sober stress has more clarity. Sober joy is more awesome. Sober contentment is true contentment.

My attitude toward the word ‘sober’ is part of my deeper belief that we reclaim our lives when we stop drinking. Getting sober is not a negative process – although it’s hard work at first – it’s positive. We’re not giving up, we’re gaining! We’re not miserable, we’re joyful! My sober life is sparkly and I refuse to believe otherwise!

Throw the positive attitude wider. Wear your sobriety like a badge of honour. Use a martini glass for your mocktails! Dance with gay abandon at a party (or in your kitchen)! Appreciate the genuine connections you make with people. Stand proudly in your truth. Relish your freedom from an addiction that used to weigh you down and stifle your authenticity.

That’s what I try to do anyway.

For too long we have equated an alcohol-free life with being staid and dull. Frankly I see that as a deeply flawed way of thinking,

I label myself ‘sober’ with pride. Even when I am grumpy or low or stressed I love my sober life. If anyone wants to think me boring then that’s their problem. What other people think of me is none of my business. It’s what I believe that matters.

And I believe sober is a sparkly word.

Love, Mrs D xxx