Not so neutral: Why the viral “Beige Mom” trend leaves BIPOC parents behind (2024)

Over the past year, a new trend hit social media – all beige everything. From nude- toned toys to oatmeal-colored onesies, neutral colors have become the primary choice for parents and their little ones online.

On Dec. 1, 2023, Tiktok user Nattie posted a video where she showed herself turning her toddler’s Step2 Christmas Tree to match the family’s beige lifestyle. From the ornaments to even the star topper, she transformed the tree to have all neutral tones. Other TikTok users took to the comments to share their opinions on what they thought of her DIY makeover.

“Aww showing ur kid Christmas from a dog’s point of view,” Tiktok user Karen sniff said in a comment on the Video.

While there was little defense in her comment section, the “Beige Moms” (or the “Sad Beige Moms” according to critics) have continued to trend over a year on social media to show off the neutral tones of their home and childrens’ toys and clothes.

While “Sad Beige Moms” dominate social media with their calming neutrals, critics decry a lack of color for children and BIPOC voices, while experts raise concerns about its impact on development. Is this minimalist trend more about aesthetics than child well-being?

How the trend is “white-washed”

Like many other social media trends, the “sad beige moms” mainly puts a spotlight on the white parents that are following the aesthetic.

“Beigeification is exclusive by design. In both subtle ways (Black women never appear on Coastal Grandmother mood boards) and extremely heavy-handed ways (a key trait of a Vanilla Girl is being blonde), beigeification can be racially exclusionary. While the trend is being touted by many creators, the proponents have been predominantly white women,” author Stephanie McNeal wrote for BuzzFeed News in March 2023 MONTH.

As a past educator, “Beige Mom” Ruth Wilson has seen how Montesorri learning, which also can reflect a beige or nude aesthetic, has grown in predominantly white culture.

“I think oftentimes those two conversations get very intertwined because it gives the same idea and it opens the door for a larger conversation about learning styles … It has a lot to do with the Montesorri learning method and it tends to be predominantly white mothers that are falling under that category,” Wilson said.

For the BIPOC content creator mothers that are also participating, they get less of an opportunity to be broadcasted and even earning collaborations from companies that support their vision.

A 2023 research study from MSL found for instance that “77% of Black influencers fall into the nano and micro influencer tiers (under 50K followers) where compensation from brands averaged $27,000 annually (versus 59% of white influencers). Conversely, only 23% of Black influencers (versus 41% of white influencers) made it into the macro influencer tier (50K+ followers), where earnings averaged upward of $100,000.”

Mothers are following the “Beige Mom” trend regardless of race, even if it is not being seen as many viewers or potential sponsors as others.

Why mothers are choosing nudes

For mothers like content creator Molly Madfis, using neutral colors for her home as well as for her children helps her as a parent.

“‘I realized that I’m happier around neutral colors,’” she says, adding that when she’s happier and calmer she is better equipped to parent. “‘I have been doing this for a long time,’” Madfis said in a 2023 interview with TODAY.

Other reasons for the recent trend of muted colors include moving towards more gender-neutral options and using more non-toxic and safe materials around your new child (ex. Unpainted wooden toys), author Marie Holmes wrote in a 2023 article from Huffpost said.

“I think about longevity when you buy something super bright … If there is an option between a green [changing] pad or a tan one, I would just choose the tan one because two years from now, if things in her room change or I have another child, that feels the most reasonable to reuse. So I am thinking about being able to reuse and being conscious about it that way,” Wilson said.

The need for parents to have their children match their nude aesthetic has caused nude and beige kids’ items to increase in popularity. For example, the shopping platform Etsy in 2022 reported a 67% increase in searches for beige kids’ clothing, a 2022 article from The Guardian said. This switch to a neutral color palette has also been benefiting “momfluencers” with their platforms.

“An executive at an influencer-management company told me that influencers are encouraged to decorate and dress in neutrals because it allows sponsored products to pop visually in contrast. This trend is now… everyone’s house. I try to imagine what it costs these women, energetically, to maintain a house like this,” writer and PhD researcher Kathryn Jezer-Morton wrote in a 2022 “Mothers Under The Influence” newsletter.

Despite others opinions, mothers online are continuing to promote their beige lifestyle. Along with their content, however, a fair share of haters have risen out of the woodworks.

Critics’ and medical professionals’ issues with “Sad Beige Parenting”

One of social media’s biggest critics of the trend is humor writer Hayley DeRoche, known as “The Sad Beige Lady” on TikTok.

“Welcome to Werner Herzog’s new line of children’s clothing – Sad beige clothes for sad beige children,” DeRoche said in a 2023 post, going through pictures of different nude and beige-colored outfits seen on seemingly sad children.

In their interview with Huffpost, DeRoche said that they see parenting trying to maintain this aesthetic in their homes and on their children as a way to maintain authority.

“Having an aesthetic, I think, is a valiant attempt at maintaining the illusion of control. We all want to be in control of our parenting at all times. And it is just a long hard experience of being like, ‘Wow, I only have 10% control when I thought I would have 100′ — it’s been very humbling as a person,” DeRoche, a mother of two, said in the 2023 article from Huffpost.

Other mothers also have their own hot takes on the trend, including TikTok user Alison Cosner discussing Nattie’s Christmas tree.

“I just saw this girl on TikTok spray paint [a Little Tikes Christmas Tree] to match her ‘beige mom’ aesthetic. I just find that so sad. Don’t get me wrong, I love grays and neutrals as much as the next person. But my daughter’s bedroom is bright pink. My son’s bedroom is bright blue … It’s important for their development,” Cosner said in a 2023 post on TikTok.

Babies finally have solid color vision around five months, according to the American Optometric Association. However, colors as they get older can play a role in their development. Using contrasting colors, patterns, shapes and patterns as the child develops makes it easier for them to see and process, childhood development expert Jody LeVos said in a Feb. 18 article for theBump.

Using defining colors can also help them as they learn to speak and understand language.

“From a young age, children associate colors with particular objects (i.e., yellow for the sun, blue for the sky). Colors help assess, estimate and define objects. This can help a toddler learn and increase their attention span. For example, a child can link red to a firetruck associated with danger,” neurophysicist Sanam Hafeez said in the Feb. 18 article.

Time will tell if the growing trend of children having to adopt their parent’s nude or beige aesthetic will eventually cease. Nevertheless, white mothers are not the only ones that are following the trend – BIPOC mothers want the same recognition as well.