As youngsters, my sister Cindy and I would often squabble. When our voices reached a certain decibel level, my mother feared we’d come to blows, so she’d intervene. She’d listen to our heated defense of why one of us was right and the other was wrong, then declare the matter settled.
“Lori, tell your sister you’re sorry.”
“Sorry,” I’d mutter, glaring at Cindy.
“Now, Cindy, tell Lori you’re sorry.”
“Sorry,” she’d mumble, glaring back.
“Good,” Mom would say, satisfied that she’d mediated yet another heated exchange. “Now go play.”
We’d stomp out of the room, no more reconciled than when we’d begun the argument.
From my sage position as an adult, I look back on those exchanges with greater understanding. I know now that reconciliation can’t happen without sorrow over sin and genuine repentance. This truth applies to both human and spiritual relationships.
I wonder sometimes if Christians, myself included, take our sin too lightly. Do we make excuses for our bad behavior, or, worse yet, fail to deal with it at all? When we sin, do we treat our offenses more casually than we should, muttering a token, “Sorry,” to the sky, when true confession and repentance is needed? Do we eagerly wrap ourselves in God’s blanket of forgiveness and then drag it through the mud with our sinful actions?
The book of Joel shares God’s strong encouragement to the wayward children of Israel: “Return to me with all your heart, with fasting and weeping and mourning. Rend your heart and not your garments” (Joel 2:12–13).
In Bible days, people expressed sorrow by tearing (rending) their clothes. Everyone who saw them knew they were grieving. If someone wanted to demonstrate their repentance and sorrow over their sin, they would publicly tear their clothes. However, similarly to my token, “I’m sorry,” to my sister, the outward display didn’t always mean they were sincerely repentant in their heart. When we sin against God and others, God’s Word insists outward sorrow isn’t enough. We must mean it on the inside.
The spiritually proper response to sin is a rending of our hearts— seeing our sin as God sees it—and humbling ourselves in confession and repentance. “Return to the Lord your God,” Joel 2:13 reads, “for he is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and abounding in love.” Confession and repentance don’t impact (or restore) our salvation, because Christ’s atoning work on the cross settled that forever. Instead, they restore the sweet communion we enjoyed with God before sin interrupted our fellowship.
As my sister and I got older, we realized that when we genuinely felt and expressed remorse and regret over our unkind words and actions, we were able to move past the offenses and back into warm camaraderie again. God desires this process for our relationship with Him as well.
So the next time you sin (against God and others), stop a moment to reflect. Why did you do it, say it, or fail to do it? How do you think God sees it? Are you truly sorry? Then pray, expressing to God how you’ve offended Him. Ask for His forgiveness and help. Rend your heart, not your garment. When you do, His patient spirit and boundless love will wrap you in forgiveness and restoration.
—Adapted from Refresh Your Faith by Lori Hatcher. Used by permission of Our Daily Bread Publishing®, Grand Rapids MI. All rights reserved. Further distribution is prohibited without written permission from Our Daily Bread Publishing® at permissionsdept@odb.org
