The 10 Commandments of Attending a Live Drag Show (2024)

Once upon a time, the only way to see a drag performance was to go to a gay bar.

Aside from the occasional John Waters film featuring Divine, gown-clown court jesters were relegated to the stages of sacred queer establishments. Spotting a drag queen outside their natural habitat was like spotting an elephant traipsing down Fifth Avenue in New York City.

RuPaul’s Drag Race changed all that. Like a gag-worthy costume reveal, drag transformed from holy queer subculture into secular sensation over the past decade and is now watched on television screens around the world. The only downside to this widespread appeal is that new drag fans aren’t experiencing the art form the way it was intended to be seen — in person.

There is no substitute for the power of a live drag performance at a gay bar. It’s an immersive event that transcends anything viewers can experience while watching a gender-flipping battle royale from their living rooms. If you’ve never been, you’re missing out. But before you go, it’s important to know the rules. Like a religion, drag shows have a set of commandments devoutly followed by fans, and if you want to worship at the altar of a stage queen, you’ve got to do it properly.

Here are the 10 commandments of attending a live drag show.

1. Thou shalt tip the performers, and be considerate when tipping.

Tipping a drag artist during their performance is like tipping a waiter. It’s good manners, and the amount given should be commensurate with the service provided. According to the New York Times, gay bars in NYC pay artists around $50 to $250 per performance, but many queens work solely for tips — which is barely enough to cover drag’s hefty price tag.

On top of money for hair, makeup, and clothing, a drag queen spends countless hours rehearsing an act and getting into costume before audiences see the final product. If you like what you see, honor the performer with cash. It might be the only money they earn for their hard work.

Tipping a drag queen is an art in itself and deserves an equal amount of consideration. Here are some customary rules:

  • A reasonable tip is one to five dollars, but for performers who go above and beyond the call of duty, it never hurts to throw in some extra sugar.
  • As Macaulay Culkin once lip-synced, “Keep the change, ya filthy animal.” You probably don’t want hard coins flying at your head, and neither does a performer. Tipping with metal objects is a no-no.
  • To tip, extend your arm toward the performer while holding out money. Avoid handing over cash while the drag artist is busy. If they’re dancing the house down or lip-syncing to an epic Nicki Minaj verse, wait until they’ve taken a breath before handing over the green goods. Likewise, unless their entrance includes an awe-worthy costume reveal, let the queen take the stage and settle into their performance before offering your dough.
  • Do not ask for change. A drag queen is a performer, not a bank teller. If you want to give $5 but only have $20, try breaking your bills at the bar.

2. Thou shalt purchase something at the bar.

If you see a live performance at a watering hole, be sure to show the establishment some respect by buying something. The bar doesn’t operate for free, and your patronage ensures a home where drag queens can continue performing in the future.

3. Thou shalt not touch the queen.

Drag queens aren’t llamas at a petting zoo, but they’re liable to spit if you get handsy without consent. A tip is not a ticket to touch a performer, either. These artists spend countless hours getting into drag, and they don’t need strangers messing with their looks. If you’re desperate to squeeze a silicone breastplate or slap a well-padded derriere, buy your own. The queen’s are off-limits.

4. Thou shalt be an active audience member.

Drag is a symbiotic relationship. The artist feeds off the audience’s energy just as much as the audience feeds off the artist, so plan on being attentive. Do you love their outfit? Hoot and holler. Did they just serve an Earth-shattering shablam? Give them a resounding, “Yas, Gawd!” Are they digging into the emotional core of a song? Applaud as though Donald Trump just lost the 2020 election. If you give the performer positive energy, they’ll give you a better show. It’s the science of good drag.

5. Thou shalt remember who the performer is (hint: it isn’t you).

While it’s important to remain active in the audience, do not try and out-perform the drag queen. A drag show is not the time to scream your favorite karaoke song or share your Borscht Belt standup routine. If your energy is not helping the performer, it’s probably harming them, so save the funny business for home. And, whatever you do, don’t get on stage unless invited. If you don’t obey this rule, there’s no telling how a queen might respond. Some unlucky folks have been tossed into pools and thrown to the floor. Let their mistakes be a lesson for us all: The queen’s stage is like Buckingham Palace. No one gets access without an invitation.

6. Thou shalt not take thyself too seriously.

If you aren’t familiar with the term “throwing shade,” you need to watch Paris Is Burning. If you are, be prepared. Some drag queens throw enough shade in one performance to blot out the sun for an entire week. Don’t take it personally if you’re the butt of their joke. The queen isn’t throwing shade to offend you — they’re throwing shade for the crowd’s collective enjoyment. Even when done in poor taste, which happens often, a joke’s intent is to make everyone laugh at themselves, not just at you.

If you do get offended, remember that the person poking fun is probably a mammoth-sized man in Payless pumps whose free willy is stuck in purgatory somewhere around his perineum. They aren’t taking themselves too seriously. Drag celebrates difference and often does so through humor. If you can’t take a joke, don’t go to a drag show — or at least sit far from the stage, where a performer is less likely to signal you out.

7. Thou shalt support drag artists who aren’t on RuPaul’s Drag Race.

The girls on Drag Race aren’t necessarily the best drag queens out there — they’re just the ones we see on television. “Drag” is an umbrella term that covers a diverse ecosystem, and RuPaul’s queen coven represents only a portion of the offerings. Whether it’s whacky cabaret artists like Dina Martina, avant-garde look queens like Cheddar Gorgeous, or drag-king comedians like Murray Hill, there’s an endless array of talented drag performers who never stepped foot on Ru’s runway. Give lesser-known performers a chance by going to their shows and supporting their work.

8. Thou shalt not be self-centered.

A drag queen owes you nothing. It doesn’t matter if you’re throwing a bachelorette party, tipping $100, or celebrating a birthday. Drag shows are egalitarian experiences that don’t promise anyone preferential treatment. If you want to feel special, pay a drag celebrity on Cameo to send you a personal message or hire a queen for a private event. Otherwise, enjoy the communal experience of watching the performance with those around you.

9. Thou shalt honor queer spaces as safe havens.

A drag show inherently queers the space in which it is performed. Whether it’s happening in a legitimate theater or a gay bar, the establishment becomes an outlet for members of the LGBTQ community, and everyone present should respect the diversity of the entertainers and audience members alike.

If you’re new to queer spaces, you will see people doing and wearing things you’ve never seen before. Don’t gawk — this isn’t the Camp: Notes on Fashion exhibit at the Metropolitan Museum of Art. You will also encounter people playing with definitions of gender or sexuality. Don’t assume — the people you meet don’t want strangers guessing whether they identify as cisgender, transgender, non-binary, gay, straight, bisexual, unicorn, etc. Drag tears gender and sexuality labels to shreds — it doesn’t turn them into name tags. If you want to engage with people at a drag show, do it from a place of love and celebration. Leave negativity and judgment at the door — they don’t belong in these spaces.

10. Thou shalt have fun.

Although following these commandments is critical, it’s most important to seek the joy of your own drag show experience. This isn’t just a court — it’s a royal court. Show up in a ridiculously colorful outfit. Down a couple of drinks. Get a little rowdy. Laugh until your belly hurts. As Lady Gaga taught us all nearly 10 years ago, “Don’t be a drag, just be a queen.” Preach. The 10 Commandments of Attending a Live Drag Show (1)

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FAQs

How much do you tip drag queen? ›

It is customary to tip drag performers with $1 bills if you enjoy the show. Bartenders usually don't mind providing you with change (especially if you're ordering a drink) but it's easier to show up with your singles. Also, remember to hand the money to the performer instead of throwing it at them.

What is the etiquette for drag shows? ›

Keep your hands to yourself. Drag performers are people, so treat them with the same respect you would want to be treated with. Don't touch a performer unless you are specifically given permission; just because they take to the stage dressed with padding, doesn't give anyone the right to invade someone's personal space ...

Should you tip at drag brunch? ›

Tipping – There is a culture of tipping performers at drag shows, some say it is a nod to the underground traditions of drag that usually meant little (to no) pay for the performance. Do tip by placing the bill loosely in an outstretched hand for the performer to grab.

What to expect at a drag show? ›

Typically, a drag show involves performers singing or lip-synching to songs while performing a pre-planned pantomime or dancing. There might also be some comedy, skits, and audience interaction. The performers are often given cash tips by the audience members.

Should I tip at a drag show? ›

If you're standing or sitting front-row at a drag show, you should be prepared to tip. The best policy is to just hand the performer your tips with your arm outstretched, or toss the money onstage if they're busy.

Can a female be a drag queen? ›

A female queen, diva queen, or hyper queen is a drag queen who identifies as a woman. These performers are generally indistinguishable from the more common male drag queens in artistic style and techniques.

Can I wear jeans to a drag show? ›

A button-up shirt and jeans is your go-to.

No matter if the drag event is at a club or just a daytime cafe, this simple outfit is sensible and comfortable. Dress it up with some Oxfords if you're feeling fancy, or dress it down with some white sneakers for a more casual look, for things like drag storytime.

What do you wear as a guest to a drag show? ›

Drag shows are all about freedom of expression, so wear whatever makes you feel confident and fabulous. Some people opt for sequins and glitter, while others prefer a more understated look. Whatever you choose, make sure it's something that you feel comfortable in and that allows you to move around freely.

How much do drag performers make? ›

How much do they earn? Now that you have the gear, you need to know where to make money and showcase your art. Income varies depending on your location but if you are able to hustle, it can be a successful career. New drag queens can earn around $50 per event they go and receive additional money through tips.

Do you bring dollars to a drag show? ›

If you sit in the front row, you're in the Dollar Zone, so bring some dollars. This is non-negotiable. Drag is expensive and time-consuming, so when you bring your hot little self to the show and push your way to the front, tip appropriately.

Do you tip the host? ›

Host - No tip is necessary unless a special service was performed, then tip appropriately for the size of the favor.

Are you supposed to tip the bag boy? ›

A standard tip is for a bag caddie attendant is roughly $3 per bag, however, a $5 dollar tip will go a long way to ensure your clubs are cleaned with a bit of extra care and attention after the round.

What does drag stand for? ›

The term originated as British theater slang in the 19th century and was used to describe women's clothing worn by men. Today, many prominent drag artists are still people who identify as men and present themselves in exaggeratedly feminine ways as part of their performance, and are known as drag queens.

Why is it called drag? ›

The word 'drag' is believed to have theatrical origins too. The dresses men wore to play female characters would drag along the floor. Actors playing female parts because there were no actresses around isn't exactly in the spirit of what we call drag today - but it was a start.

What is the difference between drag and burlesque? ›

Drag does not typically involve nudity or stripping, which are more common in the separate art of burlesque. Explicitly sexual and profane language is common in drag performances, but such content is avoided when children are the target audience, such as at drag story hours.

What do you wear to a drag strip? ›

Jeans, a T-shirt, shoes and socks are the minimum clothing items that you should wear. Even in slower stock cars, shorts and bare feet are prohibited. Seat belts with a shoulder harness are obviously also required.

Is it rude not to tip a tour guide? ›

Generally, it's appropriate to tip your private guide $10-$15 per day and another $5-$10 for drivers. For large group tours, you'd tip half of that.

Do you tip performers? ›

Tipping an entertainer isn't expected, but is always appreciated. When a performer gives you a thrilling show, you can certainly express some gratitude by offering them a tip.

Can a straight man be a drag queen? ›

Drag is parsed as changing one's clothes to those of a different sex, while queen is said to refer to a hom*osexual man. For much of history, drag queens were men, but in more modern times, cisgender and trans women, as well as non-binary people, also perform as drag queens.

What gender is a drag king? ›

Drag kings are mostly female performance artists who dress in masculine drag and personify male gender stereotypes as part of an individual or group routine. A typical drag show may incorporate dancing, acting, stand-up comedy and singing, either live or lip-synching to pre-recorded tracks.

Can a guy be a drag king? ›

“A drag king is anyone who has the intention to perform some version of masculinity,” Valone explains. “That can be any gender. It can be burlesque, lip-syncing, performance art, or poetry.”

Is drag considered cosplay? ›

Cosplay is becoming a character, while drag is the expression through gender.

Do drag queens on RuPaul make their own outfits? ›

How do contestants get their costumes on RuPaul's Drag Race? Unless they are part of a specific challenge, they have brought their own from wherever they live.

Do drag race contestants know what outfits to bring? ›

Queens are given a list of runway outfits to prepare. If you've ever wondered how queens know what to bring to the competition, it's because they receive an extensive list of possible themes and outfits to prepare for challenges and the main-stage runway.

What is drag in dress? ›

Wearing clothes normally worn by the opposite sex, as in All of the actors in the revue were in drag. This expression originally alluded to male actors wearing women's apparel on stage, especially for comic purposes, but also refers to cross-dressing by hom*osexuals. [ Colloquial; c. 1870]

What do you wear to a drag race car? ›

Black slacks, at least three starting line shirts, t-shirts, black shoes and socks, your shaving kit, and underwear. Just like Elon, I could pack for a race in less than 5 minutes. As for my traveling clothes, I'd usually wear jeans with an embroidered team golf shirt.

What do you wear to play a show? ›

Concert Attire for Adults

For women: Knee-length or longer skirts/dresses or dress pants. Choose formal and comfortable clothing. For men: Formal clothing such as suits, dress shirts and dress pants. Make sure you feel comfortable wearing them.

Do they drink alcohol on drag race? ›

Is alcohol served on RuPaul's Drag Race? Since its debut, Drag Race: Untucked has given viewers a taste of some of the few moments the contestants were given alcohol while filming the show. There is only one rule for them: they must drink. Since then, several queens have spoken out about their sobriety on the show.

How many suitcases can you bring to drag race? ›

They have a five-suitcase limit

Obviously a huge part of the competition is clothes, wigs and make-up. This takes up a lot of space but because their air travel is paid for, they can only take five suitcases max.

How many tips does a host get? ›

In this structure, individual servers would tip out a certain percentage of their sales to additional staff. The percentages must be determined at your establishment, but it might look like 2 percent to the host, 5 percent to the food runner, and 8-10 percent to the bartender.

What happens if you don't tip in America? ›

In America, tipping is optional in name only. Legally it's voluntary but if you slink out of a restaurant without leaving a gratuity of between 15 and 25 per cent, you're likely to be chased by a waiter demanding to know why.

Do you tip the front desk for holding your bags? ›

Ever wonder how that package you were expecting magically appeared on the desk in your room? The bellman probably brought it. Customary tip: $1 to $2 per bag, or a flat $5 plus $1 per bag, for storing bags or taking them to your room; $1 to $2 for a standard delivery; tip extra if you get a great room orientation.

How much do you tip a driver per bag? ›

Rain or shine, heat or cold, they help people get where they need to be. An acceptable tipping standard for these drivers is one dollar per bag. If you have a lot of luggage, consider one dollar per person in your traveling party.

Is it OK not to tip delivery guy? ›

Tipping is not required, but it is customary to tip your delivery guys as a way to say thank you for a job well done. This is especially true in the case of a difficult or demanding job, or when a professional goes above and beyond to provide a high level of service.

What is it called when a woman dresses like a man? ›

Drag King: A biological female who dresses in “masculine” or male-designated clothing; a female-to-male cross-dresser. Drag Kings often identify as lesbians and many cross-dress for pay and for entertainment purposes in GLBT or straight nightclubs. A Drag King's cross-dressing is usually on a part-time basis.

What does fishy mean in drag? ›

fish / fishy. a term used to describe when a drag queen looks like a cis-gendered woman. gag / gagging. another term used in place of "stunned"

Is drag a gender? ›

Drag is a type of performance art. Transgender is a type of gender identity. Drag performers make the act of expressing gender — through their stage name, clothing, makeup, hair, and how they perform on stage — highly creative, exaggerated, and/or theatrical.

What is the difference between a drag queen and a transvestite? ›

This describes a person who wears the clothes usually associated with the "opposite "sex. This is seen as a form of gender expression. The word "transvestite" is not used much these days. And the expression "drag queen" is different, meaning a man who dresses "as a woman" for purposes of entertainment.

What is a drag class 8? ›

A drag force is the resistance force caused by the motion of a body through a fluid, such as water or air. A drag force acts opposite to the direction of the oncoming flow velocity.

Who invented drag? ›

Drag may trace its roots to the age of William Shakespeare, when female roles were performed by men. The origin of the term is debated, but one possibility is that it was coined after someone noticed the dresses or petticoats that male actors wore onstage would drag along the floor.

Why do girls do burlesque? ›

Burlesque shows allow for personal exploration and entertainment to collide. Entertainment can bring novelty and vitality to everyday life, including one's sexuality. Many seek out burlesque for the same reasons. It is an outlet for the erotic sensual self.

What is the male version of burlesque? ›

The word 'boylesque' seems to have been coined in the 1970s by the Las Vegas drag queen Kenny Kerr. Its usage within the neo-burlesque scene goes back to the mid-1990s and the New York performer Tigger.

What is female burlesque? ›

The genre traditionally encompasses a variety of acts such as dancing girls, chanson singers, stand-up comics, mime artists, and strip tease, all satirical and with a saucy edge. Many mainstream comedy performers got their starts in burlesque.

How much do you tip drag queens reddit? ›

1$ per queen per performance will make the queens interact with you the most. Or throw $15 in ones at your favorite number if you want to make a queens night :) I usually try to tip $1 per performer for each of their performances…more if the numbers are longer and/or I find them really entertaining.

Is it customary to tip a moving crew? ›

Tipping your movers is not required, but it is highly encouraged. A tip shows the movers that they did a great job during the process.

How much do you tip on a 10 hour tour? ›

Typically, the gratuity rate for guides should be around 10 to 20 percent of the total trip cost.

How much do you tip for a body wrap? ›

Since tips are standard protocol for massage therapists, you should assume a 20 percent tip in any massage or spa treatment situation (unless a self-employed therapist specifically tells you their rate is all-inclusive).

How much can a drag queen make in a night? ›

New drag queens can earn around $50 per event they go and receive additional money through tips. Once you are able to establish your name in the industry, you can earn up to $800 or more per night, especially if you are performing in top theaters and clubs.

How much do drag people make? ›

In some regions of the U.S., local queens make as little as $30 to $50 a show. In a place like New York City, that number may start at about $125, plus tips ranging from $100 to $700.

How much do you tip after a tour? ›

For a tour that only lasts a few hours, tip your guide 10 percent to 20 percent the cost of the tour. How much you tip also depends on the size of your tour, so you should tip more for a more personalized experience. For a multi-day tour, you should tip your guide $5 to $10 per day on the last day.

Is $100 a good tip for a mover? ›

It is typically recommended that you tip movers between 20% of the total moving cost. If you'd like to tip per movers, consider $20 to $30 per person for a local move and $50 per person for long-distance moves.

Is it wrong to not tip movers? ›

Tips aren't expected. Movers are not going to wait around for the extra cash. But, if you don't tip, there may be an assumption that you weren't satisfied. So if everything went to plan and you had a good experience, go ahead and tip—your movers will always welcome it.

Do you tip movers when they load or unload? ›

You should tip movers when they finish their work, which typically means tipping when they unload. The same people will likely handle the loading and unloading for local moves. In that case, you could tip the movers when they unload.

What tip should I leave for $40? ›

In the U.S., a tip of 15% of the before tax meal price is typically expected.

Is it okay to tip $10? ›

For starters, here's a simple rule for restaurant tipping: Leave 15 to 20 percent of the pretax total of your bill. Don't dip below 15 percent unless the service has been abysmal—and never skip a tip. (If a server has been rude or offensive, speak to the manager.)

How much do you tip a driver for 5 hours? ›

A minimum tip of 15% of the rate is an excellent place to start. You should increase this to 20% and 25% for exceptional services, such as your driver helping you carry bags or suitcases, providing you with water during your ride, or waiting for you for a few minutes while you had to run a quick errand, for example.

How much do you tip for $500 Botox? ›

“Rule of thumb: If your injector own the practice, no tipping necessary. If they are an employee it is customary to tip. That being said, no one expects 20% tip of their service. … $20 goes a long way in making your provider feel appreciated, in my experience.”

What not to do after body wrap? ›

Do not eat a large / heavy meal for the next 24 hours. Avoid alcohol, caffeine or fizzy drinks for at least 24 hours after the treatment. Avoid bathing or showering for preferably 12 hours, to allow the products to continue working. Consider a course of body wraps to gain long-lasting effects.

How much do you tip for $1000 hair extensions? ›

If you are getting a very expensive treatment, such as Great Lengths Hair Extensions, it is recommended to tip 10-20%, or for the technicians time spent on the service.

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