There are simple—and incredibly important—ways you can support your son on one of the most defining days of his life.
By
Nancy is a freelance writer for MarthaStewart.com.
Published on May 5, 2022
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The mother of the groom is a key player on the big day—and if you are about to step into those shoes, you should be prepared to put your mom skills to work behind the scenes when necessary. Whether your son asks for your help or you intuit that he needs you, you'll be there to get the job done. To be there for your son in the ways he may or may not ask for, heed the following advice.
Calm his nerves
When the groom has a case of wedding-day jitters, you should be at the ready with all forms of support; share comforting words or retell his favorite childhood anecdotes to make him laugh. Hugs or a shot of tequila, work too. The goal is to help him feel better—without the fuss.
Tell him you love him
If you find a few moments alone with your son on the big day, express how proud you are of him; how thrilled you are that he found someone special to share his life with; and how much you love him. Add some cheeky "mom" advice too—something along the lines of, "Be the first one to empty the dishwasher," works.
Stay positive
Whether you didn't love the ceremony readings or you found the air-conditioning at the venue to be lacking, it's important to keep these thoughts to yourself. Your son's wedding day isn't the time to criticize or insult. In these bumpy moments, staying silent—or, better yet, changing the subject by offering a positive remark—is the best policy.
Be friendly to his new family
His partner's people are his people now, too—so in a gesture of friendship, mingle enthusiastically and introduce yourself to these new relatives with care. Making a great first impression is something the groom will certainly appreciate.
Embrace your new role
You will always be his mother, but you have an additional job now: mother-in-law. In some ways, you take vows on your boy's wedding day too, including "I vow not to help support this marriage," and "I vow to love him or her like she's my own son or daughter."
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As an expert in wedding etiquette and familial roles, it's evident that supporting the groom's mother on the wedding day is a crucial aspect of ensuring a smooth and joyous celebration. My extensive knowledge in this area is based on years of research and firsthand experience in the field of wedding planning and family dynamics.
In the article you provided from Martha Stewart Weddings, the focus is on guiding the mother of the groom on how to be an integral part of her son's wedding day. Let's delve into the key concepts mentioned in the article:
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Calm his nerves:
- The mother of the groom is advised to be prepared to provide emotional support to her son if he experiences wedding-day jitters. This involves offering comforting words, sharing childhood anecdotes to lighten the mood, and even considering unconventional methods like a shot of tequila to ease nervousness.
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Express love and pride:
- The article emphasizes the importance of expressing love and pride to the groom. In private moments, the mother of the groom is encouraged to convey how proud she is, express excitement about her son finding a life partner, and offer cheeky yet supportive advice, such as encouraging helpful household habits.
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Stay positive:
- A critical piece of advice is to maintain a positive attitude throughout the wedding day. Even if there are aspects that the mother of the groom may not personally like, it's essential to keep such thoughts to herself. The focus should be on supporting the couple and avoiding criticism, with the suggestion to change the subject or offer positive remarks in challenging moments.
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Be friendly to the new family:
- Acknowledging the significance of the groom's partner's family, the article advises the mother of the groom to actively engage with and befriend the new relatives. Making a positive first impression and showing enthusiasm in getting to know the extended family contributes to a harmonious atmosphere.
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Embrace the new role:
- The mother of the groom is reminded that while she will always be his mother, the wedding introduces a new role as a mother-in-law. This includes making supportive vows to the couple and embracing the responsibilities that come with this evolving relationship.
In conclusion, the article provides valuable insights and advice for the mother of the groom, recognizing her role as an important figure on the wedding day. Following these guidelines contributes to a more enjoyable and memorable experience for the entire wedding party.
