What Is The Best Age For A Child’s First Smartphone? (2024)

Although hours of screen time have significantly climbed since 2019, the age of smartphone introduction has only slightly changed. Recent survey data suggests 42% of U.S. kids have a phone by age 10. By age 14, smartphone ownership climbs to 91%^[1]Rideout V, Peebles A, Mann S, & Robb MB. Common Sense census: Media use by tweens and teens. 2021. San Francisco, CA: Common Sense. . No matter the age, there are justifiable reasons for when a first phone is placed in a child’s pocket.

The wide range of ages for smartphone introduction reflects the complexity of this decision. It’s impossible to simplify the “best” time for all children to get a phone to the number of candles on their birthday cake. Managing a smartphone successfully is a complex skill requiring social-emotional, cognitive and relational readiness skills that kids achieve at different ages.

Developmental Readiness Is More Important Than Age

Rather than thinking of a specific age as the benchmark, reframe the decision with the developmental readiness of your child in mind. Before buying a smartphone for your child, consider attributes that are associated with more successful digital use.

Milestones I consider important for smartphone readiness include:

• Having more ability for complex thoughts and improved reasoning
• Starting to understand tone, idiom and sarcasm
• Developing their own solutions
• Demonstrating early long-range planning
• Showing signs of empathy, or thinking of others
• Developing a stronger sense of right and wrong
• Showing more interest in and influence by their peer group
• Responding appropriately to limits and boundaries
• Improved communication for wants and needs

If your child is beginning to show these developmental skills, or there is a family situation in which digital connection is necessary, it may be time for the smartphone. And as this time approaches, I recommend having a series of discussions with your child about what having a phone might look like.

Practice Joint Decision Making

Often, your child will have valid reasons for wanting to have a personal device. Discussion about their expectations of smartphone ownership can be helpful to mutually determine their readiness and their expectation of the phone’s rules and boundaries.

Questions to ask your child before getting a first smartphone may include:

• What would you use the phone for? Why do you need it?
• How much time do you think you should be able to use your phone each day?
• Where will you charge your device at night?
• Are there times of the day when you don’t think you should use a phone?
• What are you going to do with your phone at school? What are the rules about the phone at school?
• What are the things you enjoy doing most without a phone? How are you going to balance those fun things with using a new phone?
• What should the consequence be if you lose your phone?

Your child deserves a voice in the conversation, but is not the ultimate decision maker. Not every kid has a smartphone, nor does every child need one. If you’re not comfortable or ready to introduce the device, it’s okay to delay. But If your answer is no, clearly define the steps or behaviors that you would need to routinely see in order to change your mind on the smartphone decision. In this way, your child knows the specific things you are watching for in order to revisit the conversation again.

Until your child is ready for a smartphone, consider other options to safely connect and communicate. Wi-Fi-connected tablets can be used to text and game with friends. Digital watches, such as the Gabb Watch or the Apple Watch SE, can be used on a cellular network to have various connection, texting and safety options. Finally, don’t forget old-fashioned flip phones, prepaid phones without contracts and phones designed for children, like Pinwheel, as other options.

If you see your child demonstrating readiness, or there is a family need for a smartphone purchase, keep these things in mind:

• Explain your role. I encourage parents to add a smartphone to their child’s life under the clear understanding that the phone is owned by the parents and on loan to the child. As a parent of an early smartphone user, you hold every right to review activity on the phone, read texts, check pictures and look at screentime data. In fact, these check-ins should be a regular task as your child is developing their independent screen smarts.
• Set up the phone for its primary use. First smartphones do not need to have unrestricted internet access or social media apps. Start slowly, keep only the features that your child needs, let your child demonstrate proper use and responsibility, then add features as the need is presented.
• Use parental controls. The most popular smartphones have parental control options embedded into the operating system. Although not foolproof, these simple settings can help early smartphone users stay out of difficult situations, while limiting their daily usage to what your family chooses.
• Choose your boundaries before they are broken. Create clear boundaries on when the phone may or may not be used. For example, I suggest families keep smartphones out of a child’s bedroom at night and off the family dinner table. Phone-free boundaries are important to establish and enforce as your child is developing their own ability to self-regulate screen use.
• Create clear consequences before they are needed. Discuss with your child what will happen if they lose or break their phone. Decide appropriate consequences for when family boundaries are violated. These conversations should not be used to threaten or manipulate your child, rather to make clear your expectations of the device and their actions when using it.
• Check in regularly. A child’s digital life is enmeshed with their real-life. In turn, brief conversations about what they are enjoying and doing on their phone are just as important as conversations about their real-life endeavors. Give your child a chance to explain how they are using the phone and what they enjoy. Support the things that are uplifting and add value to their daily life, and redirect them away from apps or experiences that seem unhelpful.
• Watch your child’s mood and behavior. Once a child has a smartphone, it is impossible to track every click, swipe and tap. However, if time on the small screen is impacting them mentally or emotionally, kids will often demonstrate other changes in mood or behavior reflecting their discomfort. If your child has significant changes in their mood or behavior after introducing the phone, it may be time to pull back and wait.

There is no best age to get a cell phone, but there are better ways to introduce this powerful tool into your child’s life. Talk with your child often about their digital life and encourage healthy tech boundaries. Together with your help and support, most kids can enjoy the benefits and fun that the power of a smartphone can bring.

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