When You Want To Throw Yourself A Financial Pity Party (2024)

By Tshanina Peterson|2022-04-13T17:04:23-05:00March 20th|

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Are there days when you want to throw your financial plan out the window? You follow all of the money saving tips and ideas like saving up and paying cash instead of going into debt but your finances still frustrate you? Well, my friend, you’re not alone and it is my hope to encourage you in your trek to financial freedom.

I love Dave Ramsey’s saying, “Live like no one else so that later you can live like no one else.” If I’ve heard it one time, I’ve heard it a thousand times!

And while I’ve been pounding this mantra into my own head for as long as I can remember, there are still days when I don’t want to live like no one else.

Like many of you, I have projects around the house that I’d love to get done. There are luxuries that I’d love to buy. There are days when I’d love to walk into the grocery store and not have to think about how much things cost, fill my buggy with whatever my heart desires and not think twice about it. Can anyone else relate or is it just me?

Some days it feels like Trent and I have been working on our goals forever. They seem so far out of reach and it feels like we’re never going to get there.

And so, I throw myself a pity party.

Now, I know you’ve thrown yourself a pity party before. Maybe it wasn’t a financial pity party, but I’m sure you’ve thrown yourself some type of pity party!

I think it’s totally normal to occasionally throw yourself a pity party. We’re not going to walk through life living on top of the world. We’re going to have rough days. The important thing to remember is what we choose to do after the pity party. You see, if we throw ourselves a pity party and then go out and spend money that we don’t have, we’re just shooting ourselves in the foot. But, if we throw ourselves a pity party and then pull up our big girl panties and continue the task that we started, we’re much better for it and we’ll eventually reap the rewards of our hard work!

Source: 401(K) 2013 CC

When I have those days I can’t help but think back and remember how far God’s brought me!

There was a time when I didn’t know how I was going to pay the bills, and now I’m getting upset because I feel stuck on reaching my goal (that’s a want and not a need). There was a time when I went grocery shopping and couldn’t get everything in my cart or on my list because I didn’t have the money that week, and now I’m getting upset because I can’t buy anything I want at the grocery store. How selfish of me! How completely selfish of me!

God was faithful to provide! He’s always been faithful, and He’ll continue to be faithful! (And that’s not just with our finances.)

The days of not wanting to continue with the hard work that we started in our finances are going to come, but it’s how we handle them that affect us in the long-run.

The next time you throw yourself a pity party (and I’m talking to myself here too), remember where you’ve come from, remember the hard financial times you’ve walked through, and remember how faithful God is!

I’m not going to ask if you’ve thrown yourself a pity party, but I will ask what financial goal you’re working towards!

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Comments (20)

  1. When You Want To Throw Yourself A Financial Pity Party (3)

    CandySeptember 11 at 12:33 pm - Reply

    Well said, Tshanina.

  2. When You Want To Throw Yourself A Financial Pity Party (5)

    Katie ScibaOctober 8 at 12:35 pm - Reply

    YES! We’re HUGE into DR at our house and we’re also on Baby Step 3 – SO CLOSE! but there’s no way we’re going at the rate I’d like. Even once we get to Baby Step 4, we have no idea how we’ll manage 15%/month of gross income. My husband is the breadwinner and we have three small children and every month is Pinch and Cinch month at our house. But you’re right – you’re SOOO right. We used to have debt – a lot of it. We had credit cards. We were scared to even look at our finances and we spent blindly, convincing ourselves that we were on top of it all. Praise God for progress and Baby Steps. God will provide and He already has in abundance!

    • When You Want To Throw Yourself A Financial Pity Party (6)

      TshaninaOctober 8 at 6:25 pm - Reply

      Hi Katie! How exciting that you’re almost finished with baby step 3 – what a huge accomplishment!

      When we set our goal to pay of our house, I didn’t know how we’d make it, but we did, and ahead of schedule! So, I’m confident that God will provide for your retirement!

      Thanks for stopping by and sharing!

  3. When You Want To Throw Yourself A Financial Pity Party (7)

    Julie S.November 8 at 8:11 pm - Reply

    Very thoughtful insight. Yes, God is faithful and was always faithful. My family and I splurged a lot the past 5 years and am now beginning to reap what we sowed. However, I do not really look at it as a struggle because I realize that God is in control and he has put these limits on my spending to teach me a lesson: to budget and be wise in my choices of spending. As I am only in the beginning stages of this lesson, I know I will too, reap the benefits of this lesson God is teaching me.

    Aloha,
    Julie-

    • When You Want To Throw Yourself A Financial Pity Party (8)

      Tshanina PetersonNovember 9 at 7:11 pm - Reply

      Hi Julie! Don’t feel like you’re alone – we’ve all had to learn the hard way. (You can read more about one of my lessons here – http://thriftytstreasures.com/2013/10/can-afford-payment-buy/).

      You’re right! God is in control, and I’m so thankful for that!

      Thanks for stopping by!

  4. When You Want To Throw Yourself A Financial Pity Party (9)

    Jaime GrigsbyNovember 10 at 5:02 pm - Reply

    I want to have a financial pity party myself! We went from no debt last summer so I could quit my job to almost $12,000 in debt now. That includes doctor bills and credit cards. Christmas is coming, we have nothing in savings, and I am mad at myself for letting it get this bad (my husband attributed to the debt as well, and he’s worried too, but he keeps his head in the sand more than I do). And we’ve taken Financial Peace at church before, so Dave Ramsey’s words ring in my head almost daily. Any advice would be greatly appreciated :) I just found your blog from this post on pinterest. Looking forward to navigating through your other posts, etc.

    • When You Want To Throw Yourself A Financial Pity Party (10)

      TshaninaNovember 10 at 7:41 pm - Reply

      Hi Jamie! First of all, I’m so sorry that you are frustrated.

      I would encourage you not to beat yourself up. You’re not alone because we’ve all made financial decisions that we regret. The key is to just start! Commit today to start getting yourself out of debt. (If you’re not already doing it, create a written budget and stick with it. Maybe you need to have a crafty Christmas and give homemade gifts to friends and family. Is there something you can do from home to create additional income for your family?)

      While I don’t know your husband, it’s quite possible that he sticks his head in the sand because he’s stressed about your debt. As the financial breadwinner for your family, it’s likely a strain on him. That being said, I definitely think you need to talk with him about your debt so that you can make a plan together and be on the same page! (It may be a difficult conversation, but it’s definitely one you need to have!)

      You can do this, and I’m here if you need any help or encouragement!

      • When You Want To Throw Yourself A Financial Pity Party (11)

        Jaime GrigsbyNovember 10 at 9:22 pm - Reply

        Thank you for your reply Tshanina :) I think I need to revamp our written budget, talk with each other about it more, and push the debt snowball down this great big hill a little faster :)

        • When You Want To Throw Yourself A Financial Pity Party (12)

          Tshanina PetersonNovember 11 at 3:50 pm - Reply

          While you have your big goal, set small goals for yourself so that the task won’t seem so huge! You can do this Jaime! I’d love to cheer you on in this process, so keep me posted!

  5. When You Want To Throw Yourself A Financial Pity Party (13)

    KatelynDecember 5 at 10:46 pm - Reply

    Thank you! You are so right! I need to look at how far I’ve come. While I’m still not out of the financial “dog house” God has blessed us abundantly and has always taken care of us.

    • When You Want To Throw Yourself A Financial Pity Party (14)

      Tshanina PetersonDecember 6 at 3:18 pm - Reply

      Hi Katelyn! Sometimes we just need a reminder – or at least I do.

      Good for you for working your way out of the “financial dog house.” Keep working at it and one day soon you’ll be where you’d like to be!

      Thanks for stopping by and joining the conversation.

  6. When You Want To Throw Yourself A Financial Pity Party (15)

    heather grintzJanuary 18 at 11:00 am - Reply

    It’s hard in our family right now with us having so much debt. Some days I feel like we’ll never get out from under it. But then I notice the balance we owe on some things falling and I hold onto my hope that one day we will get through it. But with a teenager a toddler and a baby on the way I know it will get a lot harder before it gets better. Really I just hope to make it to next month at this point. Around the holidays is always the hardest time of year for us.

    • When You Want To Throw Yourself A Financial Pity Party (16)

      Tshanina PetersonJanuary 18 at 5:33 pm - Reply

      Heather, you should be so proud of yourself for working on paying off your debt. (High five to you!) Most families turn a blind eye to it in hopes that it will go away.

      Instead of looking at the big picture (your debt) all of the time, celebrate the little victories. That could be celebrating the balance on a bill dropping, paying off a bill, or even just making it through the month without adding to your debt! You can do this!

  7. When You Want To Throw Yourself A Financial Pity Party (17)

    JayneJanuary 29 at 12:52 pm - Reply

    Thank you or this. I have thrown many a pity party! One verse that helps me is 2 Samuel 7:8 ” Who and I, O Sovereign Lord, and what is my family, that You have brought me this far?” Not only this far, but He wants to take me farther still! He is so amazing!

    • When You Want To Throw Yourself A Financial Pity Party (18)

      Tshanina PetersonJanuary 29 at 1:02 pm - Reply

      What a powerful verse (and reminder for us)! Thanks for sharing Jayne!

  8. When You Want To Throw Yourself A Financial Pity Party (19)

    Tara BrowneFebruary 8 at 11:02 am - Reply

    Timely advice for me. Certainly we all have these days. Kudos to you for remembering the way out! And thanks for taking the time to write and share this.

    • When You Want To Throw Yourself A Financial Pity Party (20)

      Tshanina PetersonFebruary 9 at 1:58 pm - Reply

      I’m glad to hear that this post resonated with you Tara! Thanks for stopping by!

  9. When You Want To Throw Yourself A Financial Pity Party (21)

    KristinApril 9 at 3:26 pm - Reply

    I do this sometimes. Yuck. Right now we’re working our tails off to pay off my $18k in student loans. After that, the emergency fund.

    • When You Want To Throw Yourself A Financial Pity Party (22)

      Tshanina PetersonApril 10 at 10:54 am - Reply

      I’m so glad that I’m not the only person that does this Kristin. High five to you for working on paying off your debt!

      Thanks for stopping by!

When You Want To Throw Yourself A Financial Pity Party (2024)

FAQs

What does it mean to throw yourself a pity party? ›

A pity party is when someone indulges in extreme self-pity or feelings of victimisation. They feel sorry for themselves and dwell on their problems WITHOUT TAKING ACTION TO SOLVE THEM.

How to respond to a pity party? ›

  1. Thank you for thinking of me. ...
  2. Thank you, but I have a personal rule about turning down pity invites.
  3. Thanks for the invite! ...
  4. Thanks, but I have some other things to run, Pardon Me.
  5. Sorry, I can't make it, but I appreciate the invitation!
  6. Sorry to miss out.
May 29, 2024

How do you throw a good pity party? ›

Here are a few festive ideas to add extra pity to your party:
  1. Pity Party Banner. Whatever word captures how you're feeling, write it out and hang it proudly!
  2. Falloons (fake balloons)! No balloons at home? ...
  3. Anger Confetti. ...
  4. Nata piñata. ...
  5. Ladders & Ladders. ...
  6. Hide & Hide. ...
  7. Fiesta applesauce. ...
  8. Lemons into Lemonade.

What does the saying "pity party" mean? ›

Meaning of pity party in English

an occasion when someone feels very sad because they think they are unlucky or have been treated unfairly, and then tries to get sympathy from other people: Stop the pity party and embrace your new single life.

What is a pity party in a relationship? ›

A pity party is when someone practises extreme self-pity. To be clear, we can all feel sorry for ourselves occasionally. That's healthy. It's a valid human emotion. However, when it's prolonged and pervasive, that's what I'm referring to when I talk about Pity Parties and extreme self-pity.

Is self-pity manipulation? ›

Criticism, guilt, and self-pity are also used to manipulate to get what they want: “Why do you only think of yourself and never ask or help me with my problems? I helped you.” Acting like a victim is a way to manipulate with guilt.

How to respond to being invited as an afterthought? ›

Just be respectful and considerate when you tell them how you really feel. Start off by thanking them for inviting you and then gently explain your side of things. If you honestly don't think going to the event will be fun or good for you, just say so kindly.

What to say to someone wallowing in self-pity? ›

Instead, if you are unwilling to be manipulated and ready to tolerate some disapproval then it is often helpful to look at them and say, “Hey that's really impressive self-pity. I'll bet nobody knows the pain you have suffered. Nice job on the “poor me.”

Why do people like pity parties? ›

Sitting with the emotion of self-pity can feel good, because it enables us to withdraw when things don't go our way and pass up ownership of the issue. And while some people like to throw these pity parties in solitude, others like to wallow in company, which can help “validate us as a victim in the situation”.

How do you use pity party in a sentence? ›

This pity party stems from my latest date. If only there was someone who could shake him out of his pity-party, maybe he'd get his legendary fighting spirit back. I've let her pity my plummeting eyebrows; don't want to turn this into a full-blown pity party. This is no pity party.

What is considered high pity? ›

However, there's also a Pity System in play when it comes to the number of pulls you do in the Weapon Banner. As opposed to the 90 pulls in the Limited Banner, there are 80 pulls to get a 5-star weapon. The Soft Pity and Hard Pity mechanic is also employed; 60-70 pulls being Soft Pity, and 70-80 being your Hard Pity.

What triggers self-pity? ›

When you focus on everything that is going wrong, your thoughts become exaggeratedly negative, and those thoughts will negatively affect your behavior if you dwell on them. The combination of negative thinking and inactivity fuels further feelings of self-pity.

How do you beat self-pity? ›

Here's how mentally strong people avoid the self-pity trap:
  1. They Face their Feelings. ...
  2. They Recognize Warning Signs of the Downward Spiral. ...
  3. They Question Their Perceptions. ...
  4. They Turn their Negative Thoughts into Behavioral Experiments. ...
  5. They Reserve their Resources for Productive Activities. ...
  6. They Practice Gratitude.
May 5, 2015

Is self-pity toxic? ›

Self-pity stops emotional growth and healing. It thwarts acceptance and moving forward into new possibilities. The term “acceptance” doesn't mean that something wasn't hurtful – it's merely an acceptance that it happened, that it was painful.

What does it mean when someone says you pity yourself? ›

If you're completely focused on feeling bad about your own problems and complaints, you're feeling self-pity. Your self-pity can make it hard to appreciate that other people face more serious troubles than you do.

Why do people do pity partys? ›

Pity parties allow you to acknowledge a wrong that's been done to you. In our modern age, so many people feel robbed. It is a general consensus among young people that (thanks to the decisions of our elders) we won't get to experience the world they did.

What is considered self-pity? ›

Self-pity is an emotion in which one feels self-centered sorrow and pity toward the self regarding one's own internal and external experiences of suffering. Self-pity has also been defined as an emotion "directed towards others with the goal of attracting attention, empathy, or help"

What is it called when you pity yourself? ›

Definition of self-pity. as in sadness. disapproving a feeling of pity for yourself because you believe you have suffered more than is fair or reasonable He was wallowing in self-pity.

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