“The Nature Assumption,” a controversial new book by Judith Rich Harris, stirs up a perennial debate: Who wields the greater influence on children--parents or peers? Harris, honored for her research by the American Psychological Assn., contends that it’s peers, not parents, who have the greater impact on children’s personalities. According to Harris, once parents contribute their genes, their contribution is about done. It’s the environment outside of the home, she argues, that af fects children the most. Teens shared their views with MARY REESE BOYKIN.
CESAR PICHARDO
For the record:
12:00 a.m. Sept. 19, 1998 For the Record
Los Angeles Times Saturday September 19, 1998 Home Edition Metro Part B Page 7 Opinion Desk 1 inches; 21 words Type of Material: Correction
Influencing teens--Judith Rich Harris is the author of “The Nurture Assumption.” Her book title appeared incorrectly in a Voices article on Sept. 12.
19, Los Angeles
Basically, whether parents or peers have more influence depends on the age of the child. Starting as early as age 12--and for some kids at least by 14--friends definitely have more influence than parents. Kids want to do what their friends are doing, whether it’s good or bad.
Because some kids want to be like their peers, they get involved in things that are not right according to the law or the Scriptures. That happened to me.
With a friend, I broke into a car and was placed on probation. The terms of my probation were that I attend classes and counseling. When I did neither, I ended up for two weekend stays at juvenile hall. Being in juvenile hall made me really look at how my life was going.
By the grace of God, I straightened out my life, thanks to my parents, who kept praying for me and didn’t turn their backs on me. I am completing my GED, but I regret not graduating from high school. I learned the hard way to listen to my parents.
JONDOLON BUSH
17, freshman, Cal State Fullerton
My mother is a single parent. In my early teens, there were several times when she put her foot down. “Jondolon,” she would say, “that person is not acceptable for you to be around. If he goes down, you sink with the ship. The world is too crazy for you to be with just anybody. You have to select your friends carefully.” Before long, I chose friends whose values were similar to mine. My friends don’t participate in violence, use drugs or foul language. We go out and have fun, clean fellowship.
What made me listen to my mom is the strong mother-son bond we’ve had since my early childhood and my respect for the struggles she has gone through. She’s kept me in the church. I love her and trust her.
To this day, my mom’s influence means more than any influence that my friends can provide.
APRIL WALTER
17, senior, King/Drew Medical Magnet
Iam influenced by both my parents and peers. My parents influence me to study, to make good grades. They let me know that they want me to try to reach my goals, even if I fall short. They always show me that they care. Things like drugs or violence aren’t even issues; my parents made it clear years ago that behavior involving either was not going to be tolerated.
My friends come from families like mine who care a lot, too. We are a big support group. If one of us is struggling with something, the others help.
We participate in many career-oriented activities together. We study, volunteer to clean up the beach, help at the Youth Task Force of Los Angeles’ Halloween, Easter and Christmas parties for underprivileged children.
I know that there are some teens who come from homes where the parents don’t care whether they go to school, as long as the kids leave the house. There are some parents who involve themselves in ridiculous behavior, smoking marijuana with their kids as if it is a family activity. That’s scary.
But I feel fortunate to be part of a family that wants me to go far in life; the influence of my parents and peers overlap.
JACOB KAPLAN
16, junior, Redondo Union High School
My dad passed away about a year ago. I did everything with him. I enjoy doing things with my mom, too. She even takes me to the batting cage.
But I love to hang out with my friends. I seek their advice. They’re honest with me.
Your friends give you more confidence. Say you’re playing pool and someone threatens you. You feel safer because you are with your friends.
But I don’t let my friends ask too much of me. They don’t influence me negatively about school. I know what I want to accomplish. I know that I have to maintain a grade-point average good enough to get a scholarship.
SHARIF PAXTON
19, sophom*ore, Long Beach City College
*
I have many influences: my parents, peers, coaches, friends’ parents, the public. But I make my own decisions because I don’t want to get caught up behind someone’s else decision.
I announce my goals to many people. In August, I won second place in the 110-meter hurdles, representing the USA, in the World Junior Championships in Track and Field in Annecy, France.
My philosophy is that you have to be careful who you let motivate you. Only you can determine how far you want to go.
FAQs
Common knowledge, parents influence their children's development and personality. Whether we want to admit it or not, parents are a child's most influential role model. As parents, we spend more time with our children than any other adult. We model to our children our values, as well as our likes/dislikes.
Who has the most influence on adolescence? ›
The influence of parental and peer relationships, as well as the broader culture, shapes many aspects of adolescent development. The relationships adolescents have with their peers, family, and members of their social sphere play a vital role in their development.
Who influences a child the most parents or peers? ›
Parents are the #1 influence in their children's lives. Parents don't always believe this – in a Parents Empowered survey, parents placed themselves last in the line-up of influences on their children – after friends, teachers and media.
Who is influencing your kids? ›
These could be your child's friends, your friends, Sunday School teachers, youth group leaders, community leaders, teachers, tutors, neighbors, a grandma, or a cousin.
Who has the most influence on children's development and why? ›
Family is almost certainly the most important factor in child development. In early childhood especially, parents are the ones who spend the most time with their children and we (sometimes unwittingly) influence the way they act and think and behave.
Who are the biggest influences growing up? ›
It is virtually impossible to determine how each child will develop in reality, because so many factors need to be taken into consideration. We need to look at the obvious influences that shape a child's world; including genetics, parenting, extended family, schools and relationships. They all have an impact.
What age group is most influenced by parents? ›
Nomination of age 12, early-mid puberty, as the time when parents can most influence child outcomes, points to pressing concerns that eclipse early life matters. Alternatively, early development may be viewed as less amenable to parental influence.
Do friends have a more powerful influence than parents? ›
Basically, whether parents or peers have more influence depends on the age of the child. Starting as early as age 12--and for some kids at least by 14--friends definitely have more influence than parents.
Which parent has influenced you the most? ›
Every Individual starts from his/her Mother, From her womb. Mother is always the first teacher of any individual. She teaches her life values of Love, Respect etc. Mother may be the most influenced person in most of the person's life.
Are children easily influenced by their parents? ›
There is clear evidence that parents can and do influence children. There is equally clear evidence that children's genetic makeup affects their own behavioral characteristics, and also influences the way they are treated by their parents.
Since family is the primary social interaction among children, parents are the first to form, or hinder their child's self-esteem; they create rules and an environment for their child to be classically conditioned through; and parents also mold their child's view on relationships (Engel, 2006).
Who has the greatest influence on 16 to 18 year olds their parents or their friends? ›
Parents are one of the most positive influencers in a teens life. However, we don't realise it. Teens are in a phase of taking risks, and rebelling, even when they are physically and financially dependent on their parents for support.
How do family members influence you? ›
Physical health - Many studies have shown that positive relationships with relatives lead to more positive habits later in life, such as taking better care of yourself and making healthy food choices. In contrast, negative relationships that cause stress can lead to unhealthy eating habits and poor physical self-care.
Who is the most important person to a child? ›
Fathers play a role in every child's life that cannot be filled by others. This role can have a large impact on a child and help shape him or her into the person they become.
How does the family influence a child? ›
The family, the father and mother are the fundamental basis for the children's healthy development, because it is among its family that the child feels secure, loved, and protected. The security that exists in parental interactions is critical for the emotional stability of the child (Ribeiro, 2007).
What are the 3 most important influences on a child's development? ›
Learn more about the three main factors that affect your child's development:
- brain development.
- child's temperament.
- care they receive from you and others.
The most influential people in my life have always been the people closest to me. My family is small but supportive. My parents taught me and my brother a strong work ethic – to aim high, work hard and value your relationships. My parents have nurtured me, guided me and comforted me.
What has the biggest influence on child development? ›
Relationships: the foundation of child development
Children's relationships affect all areas and stages of their development. In fact, nurturing relationships are the foundation of healthy child development. Through warm, responsive relationships, your child learns vital information about themselves and their world.
Who are we influenced by? ›
We're all born with a particular temperament, genetics, and neurological wiring. And, of course, external factors, such as culture and socioeconomic status, have a tremendous influence on us. Another factor that shapes us is the people we've interacted with throughout our lives.
What age is the most easily influenced? ›
Study suggests people become susceptible to social influence around age 12. An international team of researchers has found evidence that suggests children begin to become susceptible to social influence when they reach age 12.
We found that parent personalities have a significant impact on a child's life, even after taking the child's personality into account. A child's personality matters, of course, but parents have a special and important impact on their kids. For example, kids with extraverted parents tended to have lower grades.
Do peers influence behavior? ›
“People care about what others think across all different age groups—and that influences how much they value different ideas and behaviors,” says Dr. Emily Falk at the University of Pennsylvania. She studies how social networks affect decision making. This is called social, or peer, influence.
Who besides your parents had the biggest impact on your childhood? ›
Who, besides your parents, had the biggest impact on your childhood? I think as a child, my relatives had a very great impact on me. It was their opinions that have shaped to an extent the things that I believe in and the things that I do.
Why mother is the most influential person? ›
Because her place is irreplaceable in every stage of your life. With each day, her importance in every department of your life simply grows and that's what makes her the most important person in your life. She gave birth to you and all your life you should be forever grateful to her.
How family influence you the most? ›
Physical health - Many studies have shown that positive relationships with relatives lead to more positive habits later in life, such as taking better care of yourself and making healthy food choices. In contrast, negative relationships that cause stress can lead to unhealthy eating habits and poor physical self-care.
Which parent is more important to a child? ›
Neither parent is more important, and both are vital. What matters most is that both parents show up and stay involved. Both parents are indispensable and hugely important to kids through all stages of life. The true extent depends a great deal on the relationships and the people involved.
Which parent is more important in a child's life? ›
From the start of a child's life, the mother is the most important figure of attachment. The relationship between a parent and child is a vital part of their physical and emotional development. When parents are not around or don't spend time with kids it can lead to poor emotional development and behaviors.
Who is a leader to a child? ›
A leader is simply someone whom other people will follow. A leader is someone who can inspire you or motivate you to meet a goal. Think about a group you have been in, such as a soccer team or a club. Usually, there is someone whom the others in the group will listen to and will follow.
Do parents have an influence on children? ›
There is clear evidence that parents can and do influence children. There is equally clear evidence that children's genetic makeup affects their own behavioral characteristics, and also influences the way they are treated by their parents.
Do parents have great influence on child development? ›
The sense of family, relationship, responsibility, and punctuality are instilled in a child by parents and it plays an influential role in their maturity. Love and attention from parents develop a strong character in a child while the lack of proper parenting often ruins it, according to many psychologists.
Environmental factors. Biological factors. Interpersonal relationships. Early environments and experiences (Shanker, 2008; Blair & Diamond, 2008)
