When you choose to be single, people get that — even science is finally acknowledging the benefits. And when you’re married, people obviously get that — there’s a whole billion-dollar industry devoted to how much people love weddings (apparently, one company even gives its employees a bonus to tie the knot).
But what about when you’re not exactly single, but also not exactly married? Maybe you and your long-term S.O. live together, or you’re engaged, but in no rush to walk down the aisle. In that case… wait, what about in that case? It’s really nobody’s business how the two of you classify your relationship or envision its future.
But that doesn’t mean the rude questions and comments won’t still roll in. So when you’re tired of giving your standard Miss Manners-approved answer, here are 10 just-for-fun clever and mic-drop-worthy ways you could respond if you were feeling bold (and to be honest, we kind of hope you are).
When someone asks: “So… when are you twofinally getting married?!”
1. “Uh, whoa. Too soon.”
2. “Actually, we’ve just been waiting for you to ask.”
3. “Unsubscribe.”
4. “As soon as he and my father finish working out the dowry.”
5. “Don’t worry about it. You’re not invited.”
6. “Oh interesting, I didn’t realize you’d started working for the US Census.”
7. “I don’t know. Did you try Googling it?”
8. “Would you care if I told you the wedding won’t have an open bar?”
9. “Married? Wait, that’s when… hmm. No, that’s not it. You know what, could you spell it?”
10. “We don’t have any plans to right now, but we’ll gladly accept your cash and gifts celebrating our love anyway. Here’s where we’re registered.”
What’s your go-to comeback when someone’s being nosy about your relationship? Tweet us your tips (polite or sassy) @BritandCo!
(Photos via Getty)
Alison Zeidman is a New York-based stand-up comedian and writer.
