It’s a fine line to tread, deciphering the secret signs of attraction.
It can often feel like you’re trying to crack a code that’s only known to the other person.
Psychology, however, holds the key to unlocking this mystery.
It can help you identify those subtle signs that someone is attracted to you, even if they’re not ready to admit it themselves.
So if you’re wondering whether that specific someone sees you as more than just a friend, keep reading.
We’ve got some little-known psychological signs to help you figure it out.
Pay attention – your secret admirer might be closer than you think!
1) The body never lies
Navigating the labyrinth of human emotions is never easy, and attraction is one of the most complex emotions of all.
However, one thing you can always rely on is body language.
According to psychologists, our body language often reveals what we’re feeling before we’re even aware of those feelings.
As leading psychologist Paul Ekman once said, “The face is like a switchboard to the brain”.
This means that even when someone isn’t ready to admit their feelings, their body language can give them away.
So if you notice someone always orienting their body towards you, maintaining prolonged eye contact, or mimicking your gestures, these could be subtle signs of attraction.
2) They remember the little things
Did you know that when someone is attracted to you, they’re likely to remember even the smallest details about your conversations or experiences?
This point hit home for me when I realized that a friend, who I later found out had feelings for me, could recall my favorite book I’d casually mentioned months ago.
It reminded me of something Sigmund Freud, the father of psychoanalysis, once said: “The mind is like an iceberg; it floats with one-seventh of its bulk above water.”
In the case of attraction, it’s those seemingly insignificant details that bubble up to the surface, revealing what lies beneath.
3) They show vulnerability
Attraction isn’t always about grand gestures or obvious flirtation. Sometimes, it’s the moments that leave us feeling raw and exposed.
I remember once, a colleague who I’d sensed had feelings for me shared a personal story of struggle and resilience.
That openness, that willingness to let me see her in a vulnerable state, was a clear sign of her attraction.
Carl Jung, the Swiss psychiatrist and psychoanalyst who founded analytical psychology, said, “The most terrifying thing is to accept oneself completely.”
And that’s precisely what vulnerability is about. It’s about showing someone your deepest self, warts and all.
4) They take an interest in your world
It was my grandmother who first pointed it out to me.
A friend of mine, who I later discovered harbored feelings for me, had developed a sudden interest in my hobbies.
As a teenager, I was passionate about photography, and this friend, despite having little prior interest, started asking questions about cameras, techniques, even accompanied me on a few shoots.
My grandmother wisely noted, “Someone is smitten with you. They’re trying to understand your world.”
It made me think of a quote by renowned psychologist Abraham Maslow: “The great lesson is that the sacred is in the ordinary, that it is to be found in one’s daily life.” When someone is attracted to you, they find your “ordinary” fascinating.
5) They playfully tease you
Here’s a sign that might seem counterintuitive at first: playful teasing.
We often associate teasing with childhood crushes, but it’s a behavior that continues into adulthood when there’s attraction.
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Years ago, a friend of mine regularly teased me about my coffee-making skills (or lack thereof).
It was all light-hearted, never mean-spirited. Looking back, I now realize it was her way of expressing attraction.
It reminds me of a quote from the renowned psychologist Alfred Adler: “The only normal people are the ones you don’t know very well.”
When someone is attracted to you, they feel comfortable enough to tease you because they see and accept your quirks and flaws.
6) They mirror your actions
Mirroring, or subtly copying someone’s actions or behaviors, is a well-documented sign of attraction.
It’s a subconscious behavior that signifies a desire to connect and establish rapport.
I recall a dinner date where I noticed my companion mirroring my hand gestures and body language.
It was subtle but unmistakable. That synchronicity was a clear indication of attraction.
This brings to mind the words of influential psychologist Albert Bandura: “Learning would be exceedingly laborious, not to mention hazardous if people had to rely solely on the effects of their own actions to inform them what to do.”
Mirroring is an instinctive way of learning about others, especially those we are attracted to.
7) They’re always there to help
One of the most heartwarming signs of attraction is when someone is always ready to lend a helping hand.
This became evident to me when a neighbor, who I later learned had feelings for me, was always the first to offer help, whether it was fixing a leaky faucet or helping me move heavy furniture.
This reminds me of a quote from psychology pioneer Carl Rogers: “The good life is a process, not a state of being. It is a direction, not a destination.”
When someone is attracted to you, they’re willing to be part of your process, your journey, even if it means rolling up their sleeves and getting their hands dirty.
8) They make sacrifices for you
Love and attraction aren’t always about the grand moments; sometimes, they’re about sacrifice.
It’s about giving up something for the sake of the other person.
I realized this when a friend of mine missed an important game to help me prepare for an exam.
He was a huge sports fan, and that act was a real sacrifice. It showed me the depth of his feelings.
It’s reminiscent of a quote from renowned psychologist Erich Fromm: “Love is not primarily a relationship to a specific person; it is an attitude, an orientation of character which determines the relatedness of a person to the world as a whole.”
When someone is attracted to you, their actions reflect this orientation.
9) They seem nervous around you
Here’s a sign that may surprise you: nervousness.
We often associate attraction with confidence, but the reality is when someone is attracted to you, they might also be a little nervous around you.
This was something I noticed with a co-worker who would often stumble over words or drop pens when we were in meetings together.
At first, I thought it was just clumsiness until I read a research study from the University of California that linked nervous behavior with attraction.
The study found that individuals often experience nervousness when around someone they’re attracted to because they fear making a mistake in front of them.
10) They make an effort to be around you
The final sign I want to share is a simple one: they make an effort to be around you.
This became clear to me in college when a classmate would always find a reason to study in the same library section as me, even if it meant lugging her heavy art books across campus.
This behavior mirrors a quote from the revered psychologist William James: “We are like islands in the sea, separate on the surface but connected in the deep.”
When someone is attracted to you, they seek out that connection, even if it just means sharing the same physical space.
