10 Wedding Etiquette Rules Millennials Should Brush Up On, Because There Is A Time And A Place For That #WeddingSelfie (2024)

If there's something we millennials could probably stand to brush up on, it's the dos and don'ts of wedding rules and etiquette. C’mon, you have to admit it. On average, we’re a lot less aware of the nuances or unspoken rules about attending celebratory nuptial events than our parents. I can hear my Cajun mom now: “You’re wearing what? Red? Don’t you know what that means?! You bettah change.” In case you’re wondering, wearing red is a silent, scandalous message Southerners hear loud and clear. Apparently, it means you’ve slept with the groom. How was I supposed to know that?

I’m not just ragging on our behavior in the pews and on the reception hall dance floor. I’m talking about everything from knowing what to do regarding the RSVP and open bar to knowing the rules of gift-giving and when it's appropriate selfie time. Yes, there is a time and place for even the MOH selfie.

Look, you don't have to be all uptight and traditional just because you're at a wedding — these things are supposed to be fun, people. But sometimes, knowing exactly what to do and when can be tricky, even with the most laid back of weddings. In need of a quick refresher? Here are a few things to keep in mind when attending a wedding.

1. When and how you should RSVP

RSVP stands for the French phrase “respondez s’il vous plait,” which means "please respond" in English. When you receive an invitation with a request to RSVP, you are expected to provide a timely response using the means of communication specifically noted in the invitation. For example, if the invitation asks you to confirm via phone and provides a phone number, it is best to call and confirm, not just shoot a text.

Don't think that if you are great friends with the bride and groom, and that because you talk about the wedding events on a regular basis, you are automatically confirmed (I've totally been guilty of this). Many times, specifically for parties and showers, family members and other friends are hosting, and may not know you. If you don't remember to RSVP in the proper way requested, you won't make the list, and you won't be well-received when you show up unannounced. Why you ask? Well, think about the time, money, and work required of the host per person in attendance. Each person represents a certain amount of food, drinks, and party favors that need planning and budgeting. So you see, one more person means more than that. It means a big monkey wrench in an already stressful situation for the host.

2. What to wear and when

It's worse to be underdressed for a wedding than to be over-dressed. If the event is described as casual, still dress to impress with a more polished casual look. Still not sure what to wear? Ask the bride! Leave white and shades of off-white, cream, and ivory to the bride only. It's not your day to make a statement. It's the bride's. Why not give her the attention she deserves on her special day?

3. What time to arrive

On average, weddings tend to run late. But, you shouldn't bank on that when attending a wedding. All guests should plan to arrive at the ceremony for seating 20 to 30 minutes early.

4. How much you are allowed to drink at the open bar

Here's the litmus test on whether or not what you're doing with the open bar is appropriate: would you take shot after shot, grinding on someone else's husband, high-fiving your grandma while yelling expletives over the radio-edited rap song playing overhead? I'm gonna go with no. So, whatever amount of alcohol gets you to that level, make note of that number, and avoid getting near it.

5. What to do if you have to back out at the last minute

The only time it’s acceptable to change your plans to attend is if you are sick or have a death in the family. Period. On the other hand, if you originally declined the invitation because of a scheduling conflict that is no longer an issue, it is perfectly fine to find out from the host/hostess if it’s all right to change your regret to an accept. The result will be solely up to the the host/hostess. Do not assume you can just show up.

6. To gift or not to gift

This one is easy peasy. The couple sets up a registry, and all you have to do is pick something off of the list in your budget for the gift. This is one of those rare times when it's actually preferred that you buy something the couple explicitly wants. No need for surprises, unless you know the couple extremely well.

If you're not planning on attending the wedding and are considered a good friend or good acquaintance, it's best to err on the side of caution and send a gift from the registry to avoid hurt feelings.

7. When you should bring a plus-one

You are only allowed to bring a date or a plus-one if you are offered to via the written invitation. If the RSVP request doesn't ask you to bring a guest, then you shouldn't. Remember, the host/hostess has a budget and planning requirements which may not allow for much flexibility in the guest list. An extra, unexpected person means that there won't be a place-setting ready, or food available.

8. When you should make a speech

You should only make an impromptu speech at the engagement party or rehearsal dinner. On the actual wedding day, speeches are usually only reserved for the wedding party and family. As the best man or maid of honor, you may be expected to give a speech, and this is not the time to wing it. Write it down and practice reading it out loud before the event to people who will tell you the truth if something is inappropriate or awkward or confusing. Bring a copy of your speech with you on the big day to refer to (you never know if your nerves will make you go dark).

And, avoid the following wedding speech topics: exes (especially ex-husbands and ex-wives — the "three time's a charm" comment is not funny), wild nights you know the couple shared (her great aunt probably wouldn't appreciate the time the couple got kicked out of a bar for having sex in the bathroom), and any family issues, even if you reference it in a positive way (e.g. "I know the bride and her mom have a rocky relationship, but I'm glad she could show up this time to show her support!"). Yeah, let's just not.

9. Tech dos and don't-you-dares

A wedding is more important than a blockbuster debut on Christmas Day. What I mean by this is that putting your phone on silent is important in the movie theater, but turning your phone off completely in the chapel is even more important. Chill on the texting and 'gramming until after the service. Your followers aren't going anywhere.

10. There's posing, and then there's posing a problem

Picture this. The videographer and photographer are floating around the room. Their purpose is to capture the happy couple in all of their special-day traditions: the cutting of the cake, the first dance, the bouquet toss, and more. They are not there to follow you around taking pics with you in the center of the bride's family (to show off that you know them better or longer than anyone else in attendance), your sorority sisters, the cute wedding band guitarist you hooked up with the night before, or your drunken historical account of the day you and your dear friend, the current bride, met in kindergarten. How mortifying when the bride, groom, and their families watch the video of, well, you.

It's OK to request a few photos from the photographer and to share one video message with the videographer, but for the rest of the time, let them find you.

Sound good? Great. Now let's get out there, and show Generation X and all those Baby Boomers that we can do right by the wedding rules.

Images: Brian Wolfe/Flickr; Giphy

10 Wedding Etiquette Rules Millennials Should Brush Up On, Because There Is A Time And A Place For That #WeddingSelfie (2024)

FAQs

What are the rules of a traditional wedding? ›

  • You must wear a white dress. ...
  • You must wear a dress. ...
  • The bride can't be seen before the ceremony. ...
  • Guests of the bride and the groom should sit separately. ...
  • You must walk down the aisle to “Here Comes the Bride” ...
  • You must serve cake. ...
  • The bridesmaids must wear matching dresses. ...
  • Wedding parties must be gendered.
3 May 2019

Does wearing red to a wedding means you slept with the groom? ›

While you might see rumors floating around the web that wearing red to a wedding used to mean you had a fling with the groom, ignore those. There are no hidden meanings to any colors of wedding guest attire.

What should you not do on your wedding day? ›

10 Things Not to Do at Your Wedding
  • Get plastered. ...
  • Skip meals or dehydrate. ...
  • Wear killer heels. ...
  • Miss the co*cktail hour if you don't want to. ...
  • Host too much and party too little. ...
  • Lose your husband. ...
  • Have it out with a vendor in front of your guests. ...
  • Complain about your in-laws.
12 Jan 2016

What are the 7 rules of marriage? ›

These principles include: enhancing their "love maps"; nurturing their fondness and admiration; turning toward each other instead of away; letting their spouse influence them; solving their solvable problems; overcoming gridlock; and creating a shared sense of meaning.

What colour is unlucky to wear at a wedding? ›

It turns out that white is still the main color you can't wear to a wedding. Eighty percent of brides wear white to their wedding, and it's important that a bride stands out at her wedding. Even if it isn't the intent, a guest wearing white can be seen as an attempt to upstage the bride—and that's definitely a no-no.

What color is unlucky on a wedding? ›

The tradition of brides wearing white didn't start until Queen Victoria, but an old nursery rhyme says red, yellow, green, pink, grey and black will bring negativity to the marriage. Specifically, red will make you "wish you were dead."

What does a red bride mean? ›

Red. The colour of love, the bride who wears red is bold, passionate and full of desire. Not for the fainthearted this is a bold statement to make on your wedding day.

Is it rude to bring a friend as a plus one? ›

It's usually not an open invitation to bring a friend along to take advantage of the free food and drinks. Most couples also choose to extend plus-one invitations to friends and family in serious or long-term relationships, especially if they don't know the primary guest's partner well.

Is it rude to bring a friend as a guest to a wedding? ›

If you were invited with a guest and can't find a date, and you feel comfortable enough to ask the bride or groom if you can bring a friend instead, go for it. Some couples don't care and will say it's fine. Others will think it's rude. And if you're not comfortable enough to ask, you probably shouldn't do it.

Do I have to invite all my friends to my wedding? ›

It's only okay to leave them out if your relationship has faded since their celebration, or if you're keeping your big-day guest list small. Just remember: If you're inviting mutual friends, inform them of your decision so they don't talk about your nuptials in front of those who weren't included.

What is a honeymoon wax? ›

What is a Honeymoon Wax? It's what it sounds like: a special wax treatment to be done before your wedding and/or honeymoon. Several spas offer the honeymoon wax as a package which includes waxing for different body parts and for the bride + groom for a single price or separate prices.

What day should you not get married? ›

Also, look out for any annual occasions that may involve your family or close friends, as you may not want your wedding to coincide.
  • Holiday Weekends. ...
  • Martin Luther King Jr. ...
  • Presidents' Day (always a Monday) ...
  • Mother's Day (always a Sunday) ...
  • Memorial Day (always a Monday) ...
  • Father's Day (always a Sunday) ...
  • Juneteenth.
10 Feb 2022

Is it rude to not serve dinner at a wedding? ›

Even if your wedding is going to be pretty small, it's still not the most polite behavior to expect guests to show up to a celebration for you and not have anything for them to eat.

What are the 10 important things every couple should do before getting married? ›

10 Important Things Every Couple Should Do Before Getting Married💍
  • 1 Understand each other's values. ...
  • 2 Take a trip. ...
  • 3 Have the money talk. ...
  • 4 Talk about kids. ...
  • 5 Take dance lessons together. ...
  • 6 Live together. ...
  • 7 Play the name game. ...
  • 8 Meet each others' favourite people.
21 Nov 2021

What are the 10 ingredients of successful marriage? ›

Ten ingredients for a healthy marriage
  • Communication.
  • Commitment.
  • Compassion.
  • Intimacy.
  • Respect.
  • Appreciation.
  • Partnership.
  • Acceptance.

What are the 5 C's of marriage? ›

So take them in the spirit in which they are offered, which is a lens to think about your own relationship. This blog is the first of a series on the 5 C's which are Chemistry, Commonality, Constructive Conflict, Courtesy and Commitment.

What are the 5 principles of marriage? ›

5 Principles for Building a Strong Marriage
  • Focus on Your Needs as a Couple. ...
  • Attitude is Everything. ...
  • Communicate, Communicate, Communicate! ...
  • Develop a Strong Foundation of Trust. ...
  • Don't be too Proud to Ask for Advice.

What is the 3 rule in marriage? ›

The 3x3 Rule! Basically, you and your partner get 3 hours a week of uninterrupted alone time. You can take those 3 hours all at once OR break it up into a half hour here, an hour there, etc. You also get 3 hours of uninterrupted TOGETHER time.

What should a 70 year old woman wear to a wedding? ›

For a formal or semi-formal wedding, grandmothers may choose a formal gown, a longer style dress, or an elegant suit-like style. For a casual wedding, a dress is still appropriate, as is a pantsuit, or skirt and blouse or dress and jacket combination!

What month is unlucky for weddings? ›

The belief that July is an unlucky month for weddings is a superstition that has endured for generations. It's origins can be traced to several old, anonymous rhymes that warn couples married in July of everything from bitter-sweet memories to laboring for daily bread!

What color is lucky for wedding? ›

Red. It's the color of luck and wealth in China, where it's said to drive away evil spirits, and Chinese brides traditionally wear red. So do many Indian brides, as the color is associated with the goddess Durga, the rising sun, love, and fertility in India. Plus, it's such an attention-grabber!

What's the luckiest day to get married? ›

One lucky option is to select a wedding date, such as February 4th, that has a 2 and a 4 to bring symmetry to your wedding date.
...
Lucky Wedding Dates 2024
  • January 2, 20, 25, 27 and 28.
  • February 9 and 24.
  • March 1, 2, 15 and 30.
  • April 2, 20 and 24.
  • May 3, 9 and 31.
  • June 1, 14, 19 and 30.
  • July 1, 11, 21 and 28.
  • August 1, 2 and 21.
15 Aug 2022

Who gives the bride something blue? ›

Grandmothers often gift the bride a piece of vintage jewelry for the “something old” segment, and “blue” can be interpreted in many ways— from ribbons to shoes to bridesmaids dresses and so on. Some brides choose to give themselves the objects, but this is less common than receiving small gifts that fit the old rhyme.

Why cant the mother of the groom see the wedding? ›

1. Mother of the bride and groom don't attend the wedding: In a traditional Bengali wedding, the mother of the bride and groom don't attend their son's or daughter's wedding as they believe that the mother would have a harmful or evil effect on the married life of the child. 2.

What color should an older bride wear? ›

White is the traditional color for wedding dresses, and if this is what you wish, go for it! If you don't want to wear white, you can also take a look at shades like ivory, blush, grey, or even gold.

Can a bride wear grey? ›

Similar to blush and ivory, a grey wedding dress offers everything bridal but with a little extra personality. The neutral color looks great with all skin tones, and matches every wedding color theme. If you're looking for the perfect blend of boldly stunning style and dreamy elegance, grey is the color to consider.

What does it mean to wear a blue wedding dress? ›

Colors have different meanings and a blue wedding gown suggests femininity and purity, plus it symbolize stability, security and lifelong loyalty.

How do you tell someone their partner is not invited to your wedding? ›

I just wanted to get in touch about our wedding. I'm so sorry to say we will not be able to invite you. As much as we really wish we could celebrate with you, we're afraid that due to [budget limits/capacity/etc.], we've got to keep our guest list really small.

Is it rude to bring uninvited guests? ›

Unless you've been given the green light in the invitation itself, it's never okay to bring a guest to a formal or close-friends-and-family-only event—or even to ask.

How soon is too soon to invite someone to a wedding? ›

The general rule of thumb is to send invitations 8 to 12 weeks before the date (2 to 3 months out). You can set a date on the card for guests to RSVP by so that you can get a headcount, but prepare for some guests to fail to meet that deadline.

What should you not wear to someone else's wedding? ›

It doesn't matter if the dress code requests "casual" attire; jeans, T-Shirts, shorts, and sneakers are never appropriate to wear as a wedding guest. Show respect for the bride and groom by dressing formally.

Is it rude to not give a gift at a wedding? ›

Whether it's a 30th birthday or a wedding, if you're invited to a celebratory party, it's customary for a guest to bring a gift. But if you don't bring one, you aren't breaking any laws. More than likely, you won't be called out for your social faux pas, but it will probably be noticed.

Who gets a plus one at a wedding? ›

Married, Engaged and Cohabitating Guests Traditionally Receive a Plus-One. As a rule of thumb, Amber Harrison, the head of weddings at Shutterfly, says only married, engaged, and “serious” couples (say, they're living together or have been together for a year or more) receive a plus-one.

Should you talk to everyone at your wedding? ›

It's essential to have a game plan to speak with everyone. One of the most traditional and popular forms of mingling with guests at a large wedding is the formation of a receiving line. A receiving line takes place either immediately after the ceremony (before formal pictures) or at the start of the reception.

Do you give a gift if you are not invited to the wedding? ›

Your choice. If you were invited and attending the wedding, I would encourage you to give a gift or write a card, but since you are not invited or attending, etiquette says anything goes.

How many guests do parents get at wedding? ›

Keep it fair. In general, the rule of thumb is that one-third of the wedding guests are from the bride's parents, one-third of the guests are invited by the groom's parents, and the rest are invited by the couple.

How painful is an intimate wax? ›

Some feel slight pain, some feel none. But the pain will never be completely unbearable and the discomfort is it's worth it and that it gets better with each session. If you're feeling uneasy, just speak with your wax pro before your appointment and she will provide you with a complete education on the process.

What is a full intimate wax called? ›

“A Sphinx Wax or Hollywood wax is also known as the Brazilian or bikini wax, which is the complete hair removal of both the front and backside of the bikini area,” Sadrolashrafi explains.

Should I trim pubic hair before waxing? ›

Simply, trim down your hair beforehand if it's slightly long to make the waxing experience more comfortable. Your therapist will take care of the rest. Also, remember that with regular waxing your hair will soon begin to feel thinner and sparser unlike shaving, which can leave the hair feeling stubbly, thick and itchy.

What is the luckiest day to get married 2022? ›

Auspicious Wedding Dates of 2022
  • Wednesday, February 2, 2022 & Tuesday, February 22, 2022.
  • Saturday, May 6, 2022.
  • Friday, July 8, 2022.
  • Saturday, August 8, 2022.
  • Saturday, September 9, 2022.
  • Saturday, October 8, 2022.
  • Sunday, November 11, 2022.
28 Jan 2022

What is the luckiest month to get married in 2023? ›

May, August, October, and November are considered the most fortuitous months to wed in 2023, and look for the numbers 2, 8, 13, 14, 17, 20, 25, and 29.

What are the worst days to get married? ›

  • When you're choosing a date for your wedding, there's a lot to consider. ...
  • According toUSA Today, getting married over certain holidays can be considered rude and some days are more rude than others. ...
  • The rudest holiday to tie the knot: Christmas.
  • A close second: Thanksgiving.

Is a buffet dinner at a wedding tacky? ›

If you plan your buffet-style wedding creatively, it can definitely work and not look/feel tacky at all. Depending on the number of guests you are having, you can set up, and plan logistics and activities/entertainment to help manage the buffet “system.”

What should you not do as a wedding guest? ›

Things Wedding Guests Should Never Do
  • Skip the RSVP. istock.com/Jitalia17. ...
  • Treat the couple like travel agents. © Rawpixelimages | Dreamstime.com. ...
  • Wear white. iStock.com/DGLimages. ...
  • Disregard the dress code. ...
  • Show up late. ...
  • Show up too early. ...
  • Arrive giftless. ...
  • Bring a plus-one if you weren't offered one.
9 Mar 2020

What are the four or 5 parts of a traditional ceremony? ›

Exchange of Rings: Ceremonial giving of the sign of love and loyalty. Blessing or Closing Remarks: Final words from the officiant. Pronouncement: Official declaration of marriage. Recessional: The exit of the bride, groom, and bridal party.

Who pays for what in a traditional wedding? ›

Traditionally, the breakdown of expenses was very clear: The bride's family paid for the groom's ring, engagement party, the wedding and reception, a brunch the next day, and a belated reception (if there was one).

What does the Bible say about traditional wedding? ›

Marriage in the Bible simply consists of a man and woman, with the consent of the woman's father or guardian, living together and attempting procreation. No vows, no priest, no ritual, no prayer, no pronouncement, no license, no registration. This is quite different from how we define and enact marriage today.

What is the most important role in a wedding? ›

Officiant. This is perhaps the most important role in the wedding since they're in charge of helping you say “I do.” Today, anyone can become a registered officiant online so this role can be filled by a close friend or family member rather than an ordained minister or judge.

What are the 3 parts of a wedding? ›

"There is typically a welcome or introduction by the minister, followed by the exchange of vows. The couple then exchanges rings, and after the couple shares a kiss, the minister announces them for the first time as a married couple," says Miller.

Who goes down the aisle first in a wedding? ›

The Grandparents of the Bride: The bride's grandparents walk down the aisle first. Once they reach the front, they are then seated in the first row, on the right side. In Jewish ceremonies, the bride's family and guests sit on the right and the groom's family and friends sit on the left.

Who walks out first in a wedding? ›

1. Officiant. Your officiant is generally the first person to walk toward the altar, signifying the ceremony is about to commence.

Who walks the groom down the aisle? ›

Groom. Traditionally, he walks down the aisle solo but some grooms prefer walking down the aisle escorted by both parents. Other grooms prefer a more subtle approach by entering the ceremony from the side of the venue (following the officiant and followed by the groomsmen) to take his place at the altar.

What should the mother of the groom not do? ›

Here are a few things a mother-of-the-groom shouldn't do.
  • Don't overshadow the bride's mother. ...
  • Don't act (or dress) like a bridesmaid. ...
  • Don't get too critical. ...
  • Don't steal the bride's spotlight with your mother-of-the-groom outfit. ...
  • Don't try to invite extra guests. ...
  • Don't skip the pre-wedding events.
2 Jul 2019

What is the average wedding gift 2022? ›

The average wedding gift amount 2022 guests spent on gifts was about $151 per person. This is owing to the many pre-wedding festivities, associated expenses, and a long list of wedding gift ideas.

Where in the Bible does it say not to wear wedding rings? ›

The use of wedding ring is not commanded in the Bible, and there is no indication that it was ever practised in the New Testament. The use of finger ring in the Bible was as a symbol of authority.

What marriage is forbidden in the Bible? ›

Among the forbidden couples are parent-child, sister-brother, grandparent-grandchild, uncle-niece, aunt-nephew, and between half siblings and certain close in-laws. This "Levitical law" is found in Leviticus 18:6-18, supplemented by Leviticus 20:17-21 and Deuteronomy 27:20-23. Photo illustration, Shutterstock, Inc.

Was Adam and Eve married? ›

Several thousand years have passed since Adam and Eve became man and wife, but God hasn't changed what he first instructed mankind regarding marriage in the Bible.

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