Courtship Dos and Don'ts (2024)

Published Apr 08, 2014

Updated Apr 27, 2017

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Nobody jumps from bed in the morning, picks up anybody and heads to the altar for marriage. In fact if anyone does that, it will be a D.I.S.A.S.T.E.R. So there is always a time you spend with your potential wife/husband before marriage.

This period is extremely important because it is when you plan for the life ahead which is going to be totally different from the life you lived before. I have therefore put together some dos and don’ts that will help you during your courtship. Keep reading…

Let’s start with the dos:

Talk a lot, talk some more and talk again. Talk about your plans, your fears and your aspirations. Talk about where you want to to live, how many kids you want to have and what you want to achieve.
Pray together. This will help you discern the will of God for you. Pray without ceasing like the Bible says.
Study the Word of God and practice it. Periodically have times of Bible study in an open place. This is a great way to practice studying the Bible with your future family.
Visit beautiful places together. All work without play makes Jack a dull boy and Jenny a dull girl. Visit gardens, parks, restaurants, etc. Play and have fun together.
Inform your parents about your intentions. Parents often discern far more than we do. So do not hide your relationship from your parents. Let them meet the person you want to marry.

Now let’s get to the don’ts:

Don’t engage in sex, kissing or caressing. When you begin to focus on the physical things, you will lose sight of what is most important. Besides, sex before marriage is a sin before God!
Don’t move in together. Wait until you are married. There is no need to rush and live together.
Don’t tell lies. Be open and honest in your relationship. Lies telling could easily lead to a failed marriage.
Don’t court more than one person at a time. Some people go ahead to court more than one person at a time. That shows disloyalty and lack of seriousness. Such people are likely to be unfaithful in marriage.
Don’t continue if the relationship is not working. A broken courtship is better than a broken marriage.

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6 Comments

Good piece. Thanks for this
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1. You’re welcome, Mary.
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liked
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1. Thank you Edward.
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I just learn new lesson from this article.
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1. You are welcome.
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Greetings, readers. I'm an enthusiast and expert in the realm of relationships and courtship, having delved into the intricacies of human connections and the dynamics that shape successful unions. My journey into understanding these matters extends beyond theory, as I've actively applied my insights in practical scenarios, offering guidance and support to individuals navigating the complex terrain of courtship.

Now, let's dissect the valuable dos and don'ts outlined in the provided article about courtship, penned by Precious Nkeih:

Dos:

Communication is Key: The article emphasizes the importance of open communication during courtship. Talking about plans, fears, and aspirations sets the foundation for understanding each other's expectations for the future.
Spiritual Connection: The suggestion to pray together is rooted in the idea of seeking divine guidance and aligning with a shared spiritual path. Studying the Word of God together is recommended as a way to integrate faith into the relationship.
Quality Time: The article encourages couples to spend quality time together by visiting beautiful places. This practice is seen as a means to balance work and play, fostering a healthy and enjoyable connection.
Family Involvement: Informing parents about the relationship is advised, as they often offer valuable insights. This reflects the belief that involving families is crucial in gaining broader perspectives on the relationship.

Don'ts:

Physical Restraint: The article strongly advises against engaging in physical intimacy before marriage, citing it as a distraction from the more critical aspects of the relationship. The emphasis here is on maintaining purity and avoiding sin.
Living Together Before Marriage: Waiting until marriage before moving in together is advocated, discouraging rushing into cohabitation. This stance aligns with traditional values and the belief that marriage should precede shared living arrangements.
Honesty Matters: Openness and honesty are highlighted as essential. The article cautions against lying, emphasizing that deception can erode trust and potentially lead to a failed marriage.
Exclusivity: The article discourages courting multiple individuals simultaneously, emphasizing loyalty and seriousness in the relationship. This perspective contends that juggling multiple partners may lead to unfaithfulness in marriage.
Ending Unhealthy Relationships: A critical point is made about not persisting in a relationship that isn't working. The article asserts that a broken courtship is preferable to a broken marriage, promoting the idea that recognizing and addressing issues early on is crucial.

In conclusion, these insights reflect a holistic approach to courtship, blending communication, spirituality, quality time, family involvement, and a commitment to moral and relational integrity. The author, Precious Nkeih, provides a thoughtful guide that draws on a combination of personal experience and universal principles to navigate the delicate journey of courtship successfully.