Is the Look of Love Really in Your Eyes? (2024)

You may have heard the 1960s Burt Bacharach/Hal David song, “The Look of Love.” Here are the lyrics, and they say a lot about body language:

The look of love is in your eyes
A look your smile can't disguise
The look of love
It's saying so much more than just words could ever say

What does research in nonverbal communication tell us about how love and attraction are conveyed by nonverbal cues, particularly cues of the eyes?

First, realize that we often turn to nonverbal cues for verification when our verbal cues – our words – may not be trusted (“I love you”). Those nonverbal cues " say so much more than words could ever say.” So, what are some reliable nonverbal cues coming from our eyes that suggest love and attraction?

1. Mutual gaze. This is the most reliable cue that a couple is in love – they gaze into each other’s eyes. The amount of mutual gaze can be used as a rough assessment of the strength of a couple’s love. So, yes, the look of love is in the eyes.

2. Eyes and smiling. Psychologist and nonverbal communication expert Paul Ekman has distinguished between true smiles (what he labeled “duch*enne” smiles) and fake ones. The telling cues of a true smile – which signifies actual happiness and positive feelings – are in the eyes. In a true smile, the eyes narrow and create lines, or “crow’s feet,” at the outer corners. In a fake smile, this doesn’t happen. So, if your partner is truly feeling positive emotions, the trained body language expert would see it in the eyes – “a look your smile can’t disguise.”

3. Pupil dilation. This is an extremely subtle cue, but there is evidence that when an individual is sexually interested in another, the pupils of their eyes dilate. Although most people might not even notice pupil dilation, the look of love is definitely in the eyes.

4. Eye flirting. Couples in love will often flirt with their eyes – a quick, sidelong glance, perhaps accompanied by a coy smile. Or staring deeply into another’s eyes for a long while with a blank expression, which is immediately dropped and followed by a smile or laugh. Such eye flirting is a sign of love, as opposed to “eye-rolling,” which is likely not.

In short, these songwriters were talented composers and lyricists and may have been masters of nonverbal communication.

References

Gottman, J. M., & DeClaire, J. (2001). The relationship cure: A five-step guide to strengthening your marriage, family, and friendships. Harmony.

Is the Look of Love Really in Your Eyes? (2024)

FAQs

Is the Look of Love Really in Your Eyes? ›

This is an extremely subtle cue, but there is evidence that when an individual is sexually interested in another, the pupils of their eyes dilate. Although most people might not even notice pupil dilation, the look of love is definitely in the eyes.

Is it true that love is in the eyes? ›

Actually, science has proven it so! Certain chemicals (or endorphins) that produce the emotion of love can be emitted through emotions expressed in the eyes. There are physiological changes in the eyes that occur when love is expressed between two individuals.

Can eyes tell if someone loves you? ›

You can often tell someone desires you with their eyes, and you can tell that they're feeling affectionate and fond of or interested in you, but I would say you can't tell true love through the eyes because love is so much deeper than only the eyes can show us,” says Dr.

Can love be expressed through eyes? ›

Eye contact is a powerful stimulator of affection. A study published in the Journal of Research and Personality in which two opposite sex strangers were asked to gaze into each other's eyes for two minutes found that this was enough in some cases to produce passionate feelings for each other.

How do eyes reveal love? ›

Dilated Pupils When In Love

According to The Chicago Tribune, research by the University of Chicago reveals that if someone is looking at something or someone they like, their pupils will dilate without them even realising!

Can a man show love in his eyes? ›

Key points. Love and attraction are often expressed through body language, and the eyes are a good way of showing love. The secret to a true smile and a feigned one is in the eyes. Mutual gaze and pupil dilation are two ways that lovers can display sexual interest.

Do eyes reveal feelings? ›

It's a time when emotions are expressed through heartfelt gestures, and often, the eyes play a crucial role in conveying these deep feelings. Beyond their role in vision, our eyes can act as a window to our soul, reflecting the rich array of emotions that make us human.

How to tell if he really loves you? ›

  • Wants to spend time with you. Wanting to invest time in your relationship is a key indicator of successful long-term intimacy, according to one recent theory. ...
  • Asks about your day. ...
  • Trusts you. ...
  • Helps you when you need it. ...
  • Shows respect for your views. ...
  • Includes you in decisions. ...
  • Shows affection. ...
  • Looks at you.
May 17, 2024

How does a man act when he is secretly in love? ›

When a man is secretly in love with you, he'll be genuinely interested in your life. Not just the big, exciting events, but also the mundane details of your daily routine. He'll want to know about that book you're reading, the project you're working on, or how your day went.

What is the love stare? ›

This is someone who makes eye contact, holds it, smiles, and then never stops. They just keep staring and smiling, and staring and smiling, sometimes for minutes at a time.

What do love eyes look like? ›

Intense eye contact, especially with a smile, may mean the person has a crush on you. Pupil size increases means the person likes what he/she sees. Glistening eyes can signify strong attraction and perhaps even love.

How does someone who loves you look at you? ›

When someone is in love with you, they won't be able to keep their eyes off you. They'll make eye contact often and light up when you enter the room. They'll be empathetic, helpful, and consistently supportive. You'll feel safe around them and feel like there's a strong trust between you.

Can you feel attraction through eyes? ›

If you hold prolonged eye contact while having a conversation with someone or even catch someone's eyes across the room, it can create a lot of chemistry, or you can feel a small connection with them. Therefore it makes sense that if you can maintain eye contact with someone, they are likely attracted to you.

What happens to someone's eyes when they love you? ›

For starters, oxytocin and dopamine — the “love hormones” — have an effect on pupil size. Your brain gets a boost of these chemicals when you're sexually or romantically attracted to someone. This surge in hormones appears to make your pupils dilate. Dilation may also be related to the biological need to reproduce.

How do you tell if a guy loves you by his eyes? ›

He makes eye contact with you.

While this can sometimes feel a little intense, it's a really good sign—it tells you that he wants to keep the conversation going, and that his feelings might be a bit more than surface-level. You might also catch him staring at you, or glancing in your direction frequently.

What is the love eye trick? ›

First, look in the person's left eye for 1 second, then switch your gaze to their lips for 1.5 to 2 seconds. Finally, look in their right eye, completing a triangle. She said: "I can guarantee that if done with the right person at the right time they will literally be [stunned]. I've done this with people I've liked.

Can we fall in love with eyes? ›

There is a study proving that you can fall in love with someone by looking into their eyes for 8 seconds. How factual is this? Extremely true.

Does love look with the eyes or with the mind? ›

Love looks not with the eyes, but with the mind; And therefore is wing'd Cupid painted blind. Nor hath love's mind of any judgment taste; Wings and no eyes figure unheedy haste: And therefore is love said to be a child, Because in choice he is so oft beguil'd.

Can you feel love through eye contact? ›

The psychology behind the power of prolonged eye contact is backed up by biology as it is suggested to cause the release of hormones associated with attraction and affection, specifically phenylethylamine and oxytocin.

Does love exist in the heart in the head or in the eyes? ›

Ultimately, whether love exists in the heart, head, or eyes is a matter of personal interpretation and perception. What matters most is the depth and genuineness of one's feelings and connections in the experience of love.

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