Mental Health Benefits of Sleeping Next to Your Partner (2024)

Deciding to sleep next to your partner can be a pretty big step. Since we spend about one-third of our days—and our lives—sleeping, this can feel like a pretty big commitment.

While the thought of cuddling up with your partner can definitely seem cozy and appealing, you may wonder how it will affect your ability to sleep and whether sleeping next to your partner is better than sleeping alone.

In addition to deepening your physical, emotional, and spiritual connection with your partner, sleeping next to your partner can benefit your mental health in many ways, says Claudia de Llano, LMFT, a licensed marriage and family therapist.

This article discusses some of the mental health benefits of sleeping next to your partner.

Better Sleep Quality

These are some of the ways that sleeping next to your partner can improve the quality of your sleep, according to Sabrina Romanoff, PsyD, a clinical psychologist and professor at Yeshiva University.

  • Improved sleep duration and efficiency: Research shows us that sleeping next to a partner is linked to increased sleep duration, higher sleep efficiency, and better sleep quality overall. Getting a good night’s sleep helps reduce stress and boosts restorative functions.
  • More REM sleep: A 2020 study found that sleeping next to a partner is associated with 10% more rapid eye movement (REM) sleep. The REM stage of sleep, which is where most dreams occur, is critical for cognitive functions such as learning and remembering.
  • Shorter time taken to fall asleep: Research has found that partners are more likely to fall asleep faster when they sleep next to each other. The time taken to fall asleep is known as sleep latency, and shorter sleep latency is associated with better sleep efficiency.

From an evolutionary perspective, we are most vulnerable to attack when we are sleeping at night so there is safety in numbers, Dr. Romanoff explains. “Therefore, you may subconsciously feel more safe and protected when you’re sleeping next to your partner than when you're alone, which can help you sleep better.”

Getting a good night’s sleep is important for your health and well-being. Not sleeping well can negatively affect your immunity, heart health, weight, memory, learning ability, and reaction time, among other things.

Improved Mental Health

A 2022 study published in the journal Sleep concluded that sleeping next to your partner can offer several benefits for your mental health, including:

  • Lower levels of depression
  • Lower levels of anxiety
  • Lower levels of stress
  • Lower risk of sleep apnea
  • Reduced severity of insomnia
  • Greater social support
  • Higher satisfaction with life and relationships

Dr. Romanoff explains that poor quality sleep is the one of the main common symptoms of mental health disorders such as depression and anxiety. "Since sleeping next to a partner promotes better sleep, it reduces that symptom and, in turn, improves the disorder."

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Increased Intimacy

Below, de Llano describes some of the ways sleeping next to your partner can improve the physical, emotional, and spiritual connection between the two of you and increase intimacy in your relationship.

Physical Intimacy

Sleeping next to your partner not only enables sexual intimacy, but also promotes physical intimacy in the form ofhugging, cuddling, kissing, and holding hands.

In fact, a research study with 778 participants found that the physical and sexual intimacy caused by sleeping next to a partner triggers the release of a hormone known as oxytocin. The authors of the study note that oxytocin not only promotes better sleep, but it also reduces stress and promotes bonding.

Emotional Intimacy

Sleeping next to your partner offers an opportunity for you and your partner to share your thoughts, feelings, hopes, and perspectives with each other in a safe space, thereby bringing you closer together.

In fact, research suggests that sleeping next to a partner helps improve emotional intimacy as well as emotional satisfaction in the relationship.

Spiritual Intimacy

Sleeping in the same bed can be a spiritual experience for many couples. Apart from feeling closer to your partner, the shared experience can also help you be more in sync with each other on a physiological and spiritual level.

Research has found that partners’ heartbeats sync up when they sleep next to each other—heartbeats are electrical pulses and when you sleep next to your partner, they are transmitted to them via faint vibrations.

A Word From Verywell

Sleeping next to a partner doesn’t necessarily mean that it’ll all be smooth sailing. For instance, your partner may snore loudly, kick or fidget, talk in their sleep, experience nightmares, hog the covers, move often during the night, watch television until late, keep their phone on loud, or prefer different sleeping temperatures, says Dr. Romanoff.

However, various research studies have found that despite these factors, partners who sleep next to each other tend to experience better sleep, greater intimacy, and improved mental health.

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9 Sources

Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read our editorial process to learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.

  1. Canto CB, Onuki Y, Bruinsma B, van der Werf YD, De Zeeuw CI. The sleeping cerebellum. Trends Neurosci. 2017;40(5):309-323. doi:10.1016/j.tins.2017.03.001

  2. Drews HJ, Wallot S, Weinhold SL, et al. "Are we in sync with each other?" Exploring the effects of co-sleeping on heterosexual couples' sleep using simultaneous polysomnography: a pilot study. Sleep Disord. 2017;2017:8140672. doi:10.1155/2017/8140672

  3. Drews HJ, Wallot S, Brysch P, et al. Bed-sharing in couples is associated with increased and stabilized REM sleep and sleep-stage synchronization. Front Psychiatry. 2020;11:583. doi:10.3389/fpsyt.2020.00583

  4. National Institutes of Health. REM sleep.

  5. Sprajcer M, O'Mullan C, Reynolds A, Paterson JL, Bachmann A, Lastella M. Sleeping together: understanding the association between relationship type, sexual activity, and sleep. Sleep Sci. 2022;15(Spec 1):80-88. doi:10.5935/1984-0063.20220005

  6. Elsey T, Keller PS, El-Sheikh M. The role of couple sleep concordance in sleep quality: attachment as a moderator of associations. J Sleep Res. 2019;28(5):e12825. doi:10.1111/jsr.12825

  7. National Institutes of Health. Why is sleep important?

  8. Fuentes B, Kennedy K, Killgore W, Wills C, Grandner M. Bed-sharing versus sleeping alone associated with sleep health and mental health. Sleep. 2022 Vol 45, Issue Supplement_1. doi:10.1093/sleep/zsac079.009

  9. Yoon H, Choi SH, Kim SK, et al. Human heart rhythms synchronize while co-sleeping. Front Physiol. 2019;10:190. doi:10.3389/fphys.2019.00190

Mental Health Benefits of Sleeping Next to Your Partner (1)

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Mental Health Benefits of Sleeping Next to Your Partner (2024)

FAQs

Mental Health Benefits of Sleeping Next to Your Partner? ›

Sleeping with a partner may promote better quality sleep by helping you feel more calm, secure, and comfortable both in your environment and in your relationship. Deeper sleep can also help improve your mental health and mood, increasing you and your partner's ability to communicate and regulate emotions.

What are the health benefits of sleeping next to your partner? ›

The Sleep-Health Connection

One key health benefit of sleeping together is a boosted immune system. Sharing a bed with your partner encourages skin-to-skin contact, which releases dopamine, the "happy chemical" that reduces anxiety and stress levels.

Why do I sleep better when my partner is around? ›

Oxytocin is also thought to alleviate stress and promote calmness. As a result, this may translate to feeling more relaxed and even sleepy when you're with Your Person versus when you are alone. There's even research showing that sleep in general is better with a partner, which might play a factor.

What is the science behind sleeping next to someone? ›

Sleeping next to a partner also increases the production of oxytocin and estrogen in women and oxytocin in men. These two hormones promote relaxation, support an ideal body temperature, and help people get deeper, more restful sleep. Oxytocin is sometimes called the "Love Hormone".

Why is it important for couples to sleep together? ›

In fact, a research study with 778 participants found that the physical and sexual intimacy caused by sleeping next to a partner triggers the release of a hormone known as oxytocin. 5 The authors of the study note that oxytocin not only promotes better sleep, but it also reduces stress and promotes bonding.

What are the benefits of cosleeping with your partner? ›

Those who reported sleeping with a partner also generally indicated that they felt more supported in their relationships. Additionally, researchers found that participants sleeping with a partner reported fewer cases of insomnia, fatigue, and more time asleep than those sleeping alone.

What happens when couples stop sleeping together? ›

Sleeping apart could also breed conflicts and, in the long term, emotional distance. "Without a shared space for reconnection, partners may find themselves easily detached, avoiding each other and ultimately not resolving their issues," Bingner said.

Is it healthy to sleep with your partner every night? ›

Health benefits

While sharing a bed can be intimate and romantic, there are some major health benefits to sleeping together, too. Sleeping together can lower your blood pressure (because of oxytocin, which we'll talk about a little later). Sleeping together can reduce inflammation.

Why is my girlfriend always sleepy around me? ›

Chemically bonded. Behind the scenes, the chemicals in our body can take off when we're near our loved one. “Being with someone we love and trust, inspires the release of love-induced hormones that promote relaxation, wellbeing and sleep,” explains Tasha. “Oxytocin is the cuddle hormone.

Are couples who sleep together healthier? ›

"Sleeping with a romantic partner or spouse shows to have great benefits on sleep health including reduced sleep apnea risk, sleep insomnia severity, and overall improvement in sleep quality," said lead author Brandon Fuentes, undergraduate researcher in the department of psychiatry at the University of Arizona.

What does sleeping next to someone you love make you? ›

Creates a bond. As mentioned above, sleeping next to someone you love can create a strong bond between partners due to the release of oxytocin during cuddling and spooning in bed. Additionally, just being physically close to someone that you love at any point in the day can make you feel better.

What is sleep divorce? ›

At first glance, the term “sleep divorce” might appear to imply relationship troubles. In actuality, it's a practice more people are engaging in to improve their sleep and relationships. A sleep divorce refers to romantic partners sleeping in different rooms rather than sharing a bed at night.

Is it better to sleep alone or with a partner? ›

Researchers also found that sleeping with a partner was associated with lower depression, anxiety, and stress scores, and greater social support and satisfaction with life and relationships. Sleeping with children was associated with more stress.

How often should couples go to bed together? ›

However, one of the easiest and effective habits is to go to bed together. If you can't do it every night, do it at least a few times a week. Going to bed at separate times is more common than you think. Many couples stop going to bed together around three and a half years into the marriage.

Is it OK to sleep separately from your partner? ›

Despite the negative perception of separate bedrooms, experts conclude that there are many benefits to the improved sleep from sleeping alone. In fact, one 2017 study from The Ohio State University found that quality sleep improved communication between couples and reduced irritability.

Why do more happy couples prefer to sleep in separate beds? ›

60% of people who sleep separately feel less stressed.

This doesn't mean they hate their partner; it could be because they sleep better than they did while sharing a bed. Sleep quality and stress are directly connected.

Is it good to sleep apart from your partner? ›

People who sleep separately report better sleep.

Sleeping separately seems to allow for better sleep than sleeping together: 60% of people who don't share a bed rate their sleep quality at a 4 or 5 compared to 51% of those who share one. Generational differences arise here as well.

How often should couples sleep with each other? ›

Once a week may be the average, but that doesn't necessarily mean it's the right amount of sex for all relationships. "I've worked with couples who would argue that once a week is too much, and others who would say it's not nearly enough," says Stefani Goerlich, a licensed master social worker and sex therapist.

How often should a wife sleep with her husband? ›

There is no set amount of sex a couple should be having. While research indicates that having sex once a week is associated with greater relationship satisfaction, there is no research that indicates that having sex more often increases relationship satisfaction.

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