Responsibilities of the Mother of the Groom (2024)

Responsibilities of the Mother of the Groom (1)

by Ourmarriage Consultant
in Wedding Etiquette
1 Comment
172256
19 Aug 2016

The mother of the groom is often at a loss as to exactly what role she plays in the marriage of her son. This is even more true when she has not participated previously in a wedding for a daughter or other sibling. The following rules of etiquette are shared to increase the joy and fulfill the traditional responsibilities of the mother of the groom.

Her responsibilities include:

  • The first rule of etiquette to be followed upon receiving news of the impending nuptials is to initiate contact between the families. Introducing herself and her husband to the bride’s parents is her first responsibility. This may be as simple as making a call to the bride’s mother and telling her how happy she is about the engagement or an informal invitation to dinner at their home. If preferred, dinner at a nice restaurant is always in order. This may be with or without the couple in attendance.

If the parents live far away, a friendly letter is appropriate. A snapshot of the family and maybe even one of her son as a small child is always welcomed by the bride’s mother and is a kind gesture.

  • The importance of providing an accurate and timely guest list can neither be over emphasized, nor the importance of sticking to the guidelines given her as to the number of guests she many invite. Remember to include zip codes.
  • It is the bride’s mother who will first select a dress for her daughters wedding. A gown of complimentary color and similar styling is then chosen by the mother of the groom. She must wear long if the bride’s mother wears long or short if she wears short. The color should not match the bridesmaids, nor the brides’ mother, but compliment both.
  • Reservations for out-of-town guests, invited by the groom’s family, are the responsibility of the mother of the groom. It will be much more convenient if a block of rooms are reserved at a nearby hotel, which is near her home.
  • It is the responsibility of the groom’s parents to host the rehearsal dinner. This can be as simple as a salad potluck with paper plates in the backyard or as elaborate as an exotic dinner with live entertainment in the finest restaurant. Everyone who takes a part in the ceremony is invited to the dinner. It is proper etiquette to invite the spouse or significant other of those participating, and the parents of children in the wedding.
  • Scheduled family photographs, prior to the wedding, will dictate the groom’s parents time of arrival. If photos are not scheduled to be taken before the ceremony, the arrival should be no less than one hour before the appointed time
  • As the wedding begins, the groom’s mother will be escorted down the aisle, to the first pew, right-hand side, by the head usher or a groomsman who is a family member. A nice touch includes the groom escorting his mother down the aisle. As the groom’s mother is escorted to her seat, her husband will follow along behind. However, if the parents are divorced, the father of the groom will have been seated previously, two pews behind the mother.
  • The role as mother of the groom, in the ceremony, may include lighting the family candle on the altar, along with the mother of the bride. Family candles are lit after the candle lighters have left the altar area, and prior to the entrance of the wedding party.
  • The first official duty of the mother of the groom, during the reception is to stand in the receiving line greeting guests and introducing her friends and family to the bride and her family. Traditionally she stands between the bride and her mother. If the fathers of the couple choose to stand in the line, she will stand between them.

Comments

  1. Responsibilities of the Mother of the Groom (3)colleen pfahler Says: September 14, 2016 at 5:27 pm

    If the father of the groom is not able to help the groom get dressed, is the mother to help him then?

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As an expert in wedding etiquette and traditions, I can attest to the importance of understanding and adhering to the roles and responsibilities associated with various members of the wedding party. The article by Ourmarriage Consultant delves into the specific duties of the mother of the groom, shedding light on the expectations and proper etiquette to be observed in the lead-up to and during the wedding ceremony. Allow me to break down the key concepts addressed in the article:

  1. Initiating Contact and Introduction:

    • The mother of the groom should take the initiative to contact the bride's parents upon receiving news of the impending marriage.
    • Introduction can take various forms, including a phone call, an informal dinner at home or a restaurant, or a friendly letter if the parents live far away.
  2. Guest List and Invitations:

    • Providing an accurate and timely guest list is crucial.
    • The mother of the groom must adhere to guidelines regarding the number of guests she can invite.
    • Respecting geographical considerations, including zip codes, is emphasized.
  3. Attire Selection:

    • The bride's mother typically selects her dress first.
    • The mother of the groom chooses a gown of a complementary color and similar styling.
    • The length of the dress should match that of the bride's mother.
  4. Accommodations for Out-of-Town Guests:

    • The mother of the groom is responsible for making reservations for out-of-town guests.
    • A block of rooms at a nearby hotel is recommended for convenience.
  5. Rehearsal Dinner:

    • Hosting the rehearsal dinner is the responsibility of the groom's parents.
    • The dinner can range from a simple potluck in the backyard to an elaborate affair at a fine restaurant.
    • All participants in the ceremony, their significant others, and parents of children in the wedding should be invited.
  6. Ceremony Participation:

    • The mother of the groom may be involved in escorting down the aisle and possibly lighting the family candle on the altar.
    • Arrival time for the ceremony is dictated by scheduled family photographs.
  7. Reception Responsibilities:

    • Standing in the receiving line during the reception is the first duty.
    • The mother of the groom greets guests and introduces them to the bride and her family.
    • Coordination with the Maid of Honor is advised to avoid conflicts in responsibilities.

In response to the comment by Colleen Pfahler, the article doesn't explicitly address whether the mother of the groom should assist in dressing the groom if the father is unable. However, traditional roles might suggest that a male family member or groomsman would be more suitable for this task.

Understanding and executing these responsibilities contribute to a smooth and enjoyable wedding experience, showcasing the importance of proper etiquette and coordination among the wedding party.

Responsibilities of the Mother of  the Groom (2024)
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