Shake that Class (2024)

To judge by the way the term is thrown around in certain circles, classy is now the ultimate compliment and classiness the ultimate goal. Wikihow.comoffers both a 9- and a 16-step blueprint for "how to be a classy girl." People.com, a favorite guilty-pleasure celebrity site of mine (most recently for its slideshows of Kate Middleton's maternity looks), yields close to a thousand results describing women as classy. But here's the thing all classy ladies should know: you just can't add a classy touch to a crop top. Use of this c-word is as déclassé as paper cups at a black-tie wedding.

Class is like money: it is both secret and obvious. For those who possess either,it's impolitic to discuss the existence of a trust fund, a triple legacy at Yale, or an impending ambassadorial appointment in the family. It is equally impolitie to call attention to the same indicators in someone else. Admire the Giacometti or the Richter over the mantel, but don't lavish compliments on the owner's taste. If the hostess is wearing custom Chanel, you can say that she looks lovely, but for heaven's sake don't ask where she picked it up. Among those with a claim to refinement, describing a person—almost always a woman—as classy marks the speaker as somebody without a grasp on the subtleties of privilege. Those who use the word classy without irony aren't.

Rather than relying on the term to characterize all things mannerly and well-kempt, use your words. That classy woman would prefer to be called elegant. Usually, we say classy when we simply mean good. So let's just call a spade a spade: A good meal, a beautiful dress, an incredible home. Classic is fine too, because it means traditional or beautiful—but not high-class.

Ladies, the Real Housewives of New York will tell you (over and over) that money can't buy you class. But it can buy you a primer in etiquette.