Should I Go to His House on the Third Date? (2024)

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Co-authored byLouie Felixand Eric McClure

Last Updated: February 29, 2024Fact Checked

1. Not necessarily, but trust your gut. There’s nothing inherently wrong with a guy asking you over to his place for the third date and you taking him up on that offer, but it all comes down to context. How well do you know him and how comfortable do you feel around him? If you’re comfortable around him, the two of you have been vibing, and you’ve been talking a lot, then go for it! On the other hand, if you have doubts about him and you’re not comfortable being alone with him at his place, then there’s nothing wrong with suggesting a different venue for your third date. Trust your instincts here.^[1]

   • There’s a chance this guy invited you to his place because he’s hoping to hook up. If you’re okay with that, great! If you’re not, don’t feel pressured into going to his place. You can suggest a different date instead.

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   He might want to hook up. If he invited you over to his place, it might be his not-so-subtle way of saying that he wants to have sex. If you’re down for that too, that’s awesome! If you’re not, that’s totally fine too. It’s just something worth keeping in mind before agreeing to go to his place.^[2]

   • If you’re interested in taking things to the next level, that’s totally fine. There’s nothing wrong with sleeping with him on the third date if that’s something you want.
2. See Also

   How to Know When to Kiss on a Date: Picking the Right MomentHow to Hold Hands With Your Girl/Boy Friend: 7 StepsWhen Should the First Kiss Happen? Should You Kiss on a First Date?The rules to save your marriage and keep your life on track

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   He may want to spend a cozy, private night together. A person’s home is about as personal and intimate as it gets. If he invites you to his home, it likely means he wants alone time in a one-on-one setting where the two of you can be alone. If your second date was filled with some passionate conversation, he may just want to keep that energy going.^[3]

   • If it seemed like he was acting like he wanted to ask you to be exclusive on your second date, this is probably what’s going on here.
   • If he’s an especially anxious guy, he might want to hang out in his home where he thinks he’ll have an easier time trying to sweep you off of your feet.
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   He could be trying to impress you. If he’s a killer cook or he’s got a really nice home, he might be trying to bring you there to show off a bit. This is a pretty tame reason to invite you over, but it definitely indicates that he’s trying to put some effort in to make you like him!^[4]

   • If the two of you talked about a love of making food, or you mentioned being a foodie and he happens to love cooking, this is a very reasonable move on his part.

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   No, you should never feel obligated to have sex. If you do go to his house for the third date, you are not automatically agreeing to have sex. If he tries to sleep with you and you aren’t ready for that, tell him that. You should never feel pressured to have sex, and if he doesn’t get the message, leave.^[5]

   • It’s okay to have sex on the third date if that’s something you want. If you don’t want to have sex, just tell him you aren’t ready if he makes a move.
   • If he has a negative reaction to you turning him down, he may not be a particularly good partner for the long-term.
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   Tell him you’re not interested in sex ahead of time if you want to be extra clear about your intentions. There’s nothing wrong with accepting the date but letting him know ahead of time that sex is off of the table. If he’s a reasonable, respectful guy, this should be no biggie. This can clear up any potential mixed signals so that you two can enjoy the third date.^[6] You might say:

   • “That sounds like fun! I’m in. Just to be upfront, I’m not ready for anything physical. Sorry if I’m making an assumption there.”
   • “I’m totally down to make dinner together at your place, but to be honest, I’m not exactly interested in ‘Netflix and Chill’ just FYI. I want a real date, okay? 😊”

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   It’s where many people decide whether a relationship has legs or not. It’s a given that you two like one another if there’s a third date in the first place. After all, who goes on more than two dates with someone they don’t like? The only question now is whether this could be an exclusive relationship or not. For this reason, people tend to put a lot of importance into the third date.^[7]

   • If you two are still sort of feeling one another out and you aren’t quite sure whether you like him or not, that’s totally fine. Everybody moves at their own pace.
   • This doesn’t mean that you have to choose whether or not to be exclusive after the third date. If you want to keep casually dating or you aren’t sure how you feel, that’s okay!
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   The third date is where you get insight into one another’s personalities. Dates one and two are generally spent trying to put on a show. You craft responses carefully, you smile a little more than you normally would, and you do everything you can to impress. By the third date, your guard is down a little and the two of you can actually get to know one another a little more intimately.^[8]

   • This is actually why a date at his home might be a good thing—you’ll have plenty of time to talk without any outside distraction.
   • However, if he’s only inviting you over to have sex and you’re looking to connect, you might be better off with a traditional dinner date.

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