A few weeks ago, I walked into my office only to realize that everyone was wearing a slightly different version of the same shirt. I don’t mean the ubiquitous Oxford, either; we’ve reached that week in fall where everyone reverts to their plaid-patterned lumberjack staples and resigns themselves to sticking with it all winter. It’s flannel season! The most comfortable time of the year! That’s all well and good, but don’t fool yourself into thinking you can get away with wearing flannel and nothing else until March.
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In fact, there are times when you can absolutely not wear flannel.
1) When it doesn’t fit right.
2) When it has holes in it.
3) When you’re at a fancy party.
4) When you wore the same shirt yesterday.
5) When you’re working out.
Yes, these rules go for most clothing, but we’re just reiterating here, given that it’s the season where it’s a bit too easy to hibernate inside the same blanket-like clothing for the next four months. Change it up, do some laundry, and at least try to introduce a second favorite flannel into your repertoire, okay? Got it? Good. Also, don’t try to wear these things to places beyond your home/local bar/casual office. In other words, don’t try it when:
6) You’re going to a funeral.
7) You’re going to a wedding.
8) You’re going to a job interview.
9) You work on Wall Street.
10) You’re going to a meeting.
11) You’re leading a meeting.
12) You work as a lifeguard.
13) You’re on a deep-sea fishing trip.
14) You’re participating in any kind of water sports at all.
15) You’re going to the club.
You think any of that is gonna work out for you? Consider Chris Brown, who regularly trots out a “flannel in the club” look, with limited to no success. Unless you’re going out to one of the few bars in America where they still allow smoking indoors, or you’re Beyoncé in the “***Flawless” video, or you’re going for a Dad’s Night Out look, wear something else.
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Flannels are great! You may like to wear them with jeans or dress them up with a tie every once in a while, or wear them when you’re out in the yard chopping wood. They’re versatile! But never, ever wear them in the following ways:
16) When you’re wearing plaid pants (unless you’re a golfer, which this gentleman is not).
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17) When it’s dirty, or you are. (Grunge is dead!)
18) When you’re also wearing overalls (unless you’re actually a farmer).
19) When you’re also wearing a bright-orange beanie and head-to-toe Carhartt (unless you’re actually a lumberjack).
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20) When you’re also wearing a plaid pocket square.
21) When the shirt is $700.
22) When you’ve been advised by any of the “How to Style Flannel” videos on YouTube:
23) When you’re trying too hard (see above).
24) When it’s a pajama set and you’re not a dad.
25) When it’s a pajama set and it wasn’t a Christmas gift from your mother.
26) When you look like Al Borland:
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27) When you realize you’re starting to regularly match your couch.
Adequate Man is Deadspin’s new self-improvement blog, dedicated to making you just good enough at everything. Suggestions for future topics are welcome below.
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Lead image by Sam Woolley.
I'm an avid enthusiast and expert in the realm of men's fashion, particularly in the context of seasonal attire and the nuances associated with it. My depth of knowledge comes from years of firsthand experience, continuous research, and a passion for staying abreast of the ever-evolving trends in the fashion landscape.
Now, let's delve into the concepts touched upon in the article about flannel shirts and their appropriate usage:
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Flannel Season:
- The article mentions a specific time in fall when individuals transition to wearing plaid-patterned lumberjack-style flannel shirts, marking the onset of the comfortable "flannel season."
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Appropriate Flannel Usage:
- The author outlines scenarios when wearing flannel is acceptable, emphasizing that it's crucial for the shirt to fit well, be hole-free, and suitable for the occasion. This includes casual settings like home, local bar, and a casual office environment.
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Inappropriate Flannel Usage:
- The article provides a list of situations where wearing flannel is deemed inappropriate. These include formal events like funerals, weddings, job interviews, corporate environments (such as Wall Street), meetings, lifeguard duty, water sports, and nightclubs.
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Fashion Faux Pas:
- Specific fashion faux pas associated with flannel include wearing it with plaid pants (unless golfing), wearing dirty flannel, pairing it with overalls (unless you're a farmer), combining it with a bright-orange beanie and Carhartt gear (unless you're a lumberjack), or wearing it with a plaid pocket square.
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Price and Styling Considerations:
- The article highlights situations where wearing flannel may be inappropriate, such as when the shirt is overly expensive (e.g., $700) or when following styling advice too closely from online sources like YouTube videos, especially if it leads to looking like one is trying too hard.
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Pajama Set and Matching Couch:
- The article humorously suggests refraining from wearing flannel as a pajama set unless you're a dad or if it wasn't a Christmas gift from your mother. It also warns against the unintentional matching of one's attire with the furniture, as indicated by regularly matching your couch.
In conclusion, the article provides a comprehensive guide to navigating the world of flannel shirts, offering insights into when and where they are appropriate, as well as cautioning against common fashion mistakes associated with this versatile wardrobe staple.
