We don’t really know when humans gave their first handshake but this social ritual is depicted in ancient Greek art so we can safely say it’s old and it’s also something people learn from a very early age. It involves two individuals grasping each other’s like hand and shaking it up and down for a few seconds. It’s used during introductions as well as in various other settings, e.g. when we greet someone or say farewell, when we congratulate or offer condolences and in any situation where we feel some sort of physical contact is required but we’re not close enough with the other person to hug or kiss.
Although we can probably all manage a half-decent handshake, a gentleman knows that making a good first impression is important. So here are the most important rules of handshake etiquette for you to practice in your next social interaction.
How does a modern gentleman shake hands?
1. There’s a time and place
It’s rather pointless extending your hand for a proper greeting when the other party is distracted or rushing off. Engagement is crucial so ensure the timing is right before initiating the gesture.
2. Where to start
In business, whoever is hierarchically senior should initiate the handshake, e.g. during a job interview, the recruiting manager should offer a handshake to the candidate. In social interactions, allow older people and women to take the initiative, e.g. when meeting your future father-in-law for the first time, wait for him to extend his hand.
3. Personal space
During a handshake, people should face each other so make sure you stand up if you are seated. However, maintain a reasonable distance because getting too close could be perceived as unnecessarily intimate.
4. Which hand
Always offer your right hand for a handshake, unless there’s an obvious reason why you need to use your left, e.g. if either party’s right hand is injured. Also, if your palm is damp, pat it down as discreetly as possible because no one wants to grab a sweaty palm.
5. Glad to be here?
A handshake indicates that we want to interact with the other person and our whole approach should give the same message. Take your left hand out of your pocket, maintain eye contact and smile, if appropriate. Introduce yourself, if this is the first time you’re meeting someone, or greet them by their name.
6. Power game
Your fingers should grip the other person’s palm and your handshake should be firm but not bone-crushing. In a business or political context, this entire ritual takes on a symbolic meaning so, unless you want to appear intimidating, don’t use your left hand to “cup” the handshake or pat the person’s shoulder.
7. When in Rome
If you read our blog regularly, you know we always advise to think about cultural context. In Japan people may bow rather than shake hands and in the Arab world you should only initiate handshakes with people of your own gender. Although there may be some tolerance towards foreigners, a gentleman who finds himself in a different part of the world will make an effort to respect the social norms.
8. Perfect ending
A handshake should last no more than a few seconds, 3 according to most etiquette experts. Obviously you’re not a kettle and you shouldn’t be on a timer but avoid lingering on unnecessarily. Withdraw your hand and either proceed to a meaningful conversation or part ways.
Bonus tip
This should probably go without saying but, if you’re wearing gloves, you should take them off before a handshake. Unless you are on a South Pole expedition of course.
This blog is part of a series on some of the most common pitfalls in a gentleman’s professional life. You may also want to read our blogs on How To Exchange Business Cards and The Etiquette Tips For Making Successful Introductions.
FAQs
Explanation: If there are n people in a room, each person will shake hands with the (n - 1) remaining people as they will not be shaking hands with themselves – hence we get (n)(n - 1).
What is the handshake etiquette in the UK? ›
In casual non-business situations, men are more likely to shake hands than women. In the United States and the United Kingdom a traditional handshake is firm, executed with the right hand, with good posture and eye contact. A handshake where both parties are stood up is deemed as good etiquette.
How many handshakes possible if there are 8 people in a room and each one shakes hands of the others once? ›
For example, with 8 people you will have 7+6+5+4+3+2+1 = 28 handshakes.
What is the number of handshakes question? ›
What is the number of handshakes in a group of n people? [In a group of n people, there will be 1 + 2 + 3 + … + n handshakes. This can be shortened to the formula ½(n)(n – 1).]
What is the formula for the handshaking theorem? ›
Using the Handshaking Theorem, we know that the sum of the degrees of all vertices (people) is twice the number of edges (handshakes). The sum of degrees is n(n−1), as each person shakes hands with (n−1) others. So, we have n(n−1)=2×28. Solving for 'n', we get n=8.
What is the 3 handshake rule? ›
Like two-way handshaking, three-way handshaking also establishes connections between two parties using SYN and ACK messages. However, besides providing their sequence numbers, the server and client acknowledge the sequence numbers from each other.
What is a royal handshake? ›
For members of the royal family, there is a proper way to shake hands. Always maintain eye contact and keep the number of shakes low. “A royal handshake should consist of two to three pumps, with your palms open and thumbs down,” Grant Harrold, royal expert and director of the Royal School of Etiquette, told Insider.
What is the 5 handshake rule? ›
It was formulated in 1929 by Frigyes Karinthy, a Hungarian author, playwright, poet, journalist, and translator. In summary, the idea holds strong that all people are six or fewer social connections away from each other. It is amazing to know that you are just six persons away from anybody in the world!
What is a gentleman's handshake? ›
From a legal standpoint, a “gentleman's agreement” is essentially a verbal agreement between two parties, based heavily on trust and goodwill, which may or may not be coupled with a handshake and some notes scribbled on the back of an envelope.
How many handshakes would 100 people shake hands? ›
What if there were 100 people in the room? = 49(100) + 50 = 4950 handshakes.
When 10 people are shaking hands, each one will shake hands with 9 others. The total number of handshakes in actual = 90/2 = 45 handshakes. ∴ The total number of handshakes is 45.
How many handshakes are possible if all 30 people shake hands with one another? ›
Each person shakes hands with others. Calculation: Total number of handshakes = 30C2 = (30 × 29)/2 = 870/2 = 435 handshakes. Hence, The total number of handshakes is 435.
What handshakes can tell you? ›
A dominant or bone-crusher handshake can indicate that the other person is trying to take charge of the conversation. A handshake that is limp, clammy, or that is not accompanied by eye contact might indicate that the other person is anxious. Handshakes can have different meanings based on their characteristics.
How many handshakes if there are 12 people? ›
The total number of handshakes is the same as the number of ways of selecting 2 persons among 12 persons, i.e., 2. Hence, If there are 12 persons at a party and each of them shakes hands with each other, then the number of handshakes in the party is 66.
How many handshakes does 12 persons meet in a room and each shakes hand with all others? ›
Total number of handshakes = 12C2 = 66.
How many handshakes would 100 people have? ›
What if there were 100 people in the room? = 49(100) + 50 = 4950 handshakes.
How many handshakes would 14 people shake hands? ›
Each of 14 people is going to shake 13 other people's hand. That would be 13 x 14 = 182 handshakes. But a handshake A with B is the same as B with A. So divide 182 by 2 and get 91.
What is the triangular number for the handshake problem? ›
The triangular number Tn solves the handshake problem of counting the number of handshakes if each person in a room with n + 1 people shakes hands once with each person. In other words, the solution to the handshake problem of n people is Tn−1.
How many handshakes are there in a room of 10 people? ›
Since a handshake happens between any two people, the total number of handshakes that can happen will be equal to the total number of distinct pairs of people that can be formed out of those 10 people. And that is equal to C(10,2)=45.
