Wedding Guest Etiquette: Rules to Stick to and Faux Pas to Avoid (2024)

We’ve all been invited to plenty of weddings, but there is still some confusion regarding the protocol around the timeless social institution. In our latest anonymous etiquette column, Vogue.com’s editors consider the unspoken rules and inadvertent faux pas of which every wedding guest should be aware.

The hidden dress codes
Everyone knows the golden rule: don’t wear white. Sometimes, though, when a wedding takes place in the summer, guests are drawn to their lineup of breezy ivory dresses as potential options. “I have a whole closet full of white dresses that don’t look at all bridal,” shares one fashion editor. “But why wear one and potentially hurt someone’s feelings?” Many agree, but there is room to play with. “If it has a print on it or a motif that isn’t too overwhelming,” one writer says, “then it’s fine.” Still, don’t push the limits. “After wearing a cream dress to a ceremony, I was told by several people at the party never to wear it ever again to a wedding.” If the dress code is confusing to you, play it safe. “I never know what to wear to a wedding that’s happening at 5:00 p.m. Do I wear a day dress or something more for the evening?” wonders one fashion editor. The staff suggests that if a wedding is taking place at 4 p.m. or 5 p.m., you should wear something that easily transitions from day to night; any ceremony after 6 p.m. should be strictly co*cktail. What about the old rule that red is also off-limits? “I think red is fine, just don’t show up looking like Jessica Rabbit,” says another fashion writer.

Paper matters
It’s simple: RSVP by the date indicated on the invitation. If a date isn’t provided, just reply with your answer as promptly as possible. And what if there isn’t a response card? “Then the rule is that you should send your RSVP on your own stationary,” advises one editor familiar with Emily Post’s Etiquette.

About that plus-one
Regarding plus-ones, the entire staff agreed: Under no circ*mstances can you ever ask for one. “You’re essentially asking the couple to pay for an extra person,” says one writer. But the importance of plus-ones is at times underrated. “I’m eternally the single girl, and just because I don’t have a boyfriend doesn’t mean I don’t want to go with someone to a party,” says one writer. A beauty editor agrees: “For my upcoming wedding, I only have one rule—everyone gets a plus-one.” And if a couple can’t afford to invite so many guests, a good rule of thumb is to offer the option of a plus-one to at least everyone in the wedding party, which is usually made up of close friends and family.

Wedding Guest Etiquette: Rules to Stick to and Faux Pas to Avoid (2024)

FAQs

What is faux pas wedding? ›

Wedding Faux Pas: Leaving Too Much Time Between Your Ceremony & Reception. It has to be said – the “wedding gap” is real! Leaving too much time between your ceremony and reception without considering the comfort of your guests can make for an awkward (and let's be honest – boring) co*cktail hour.

What not to do at a wedding as a guest? ›

15 Things You Should Never (Ever) Do at a Wedding
  • of 15. Don't show up early. ...
  • of 15. Don't show up late. ...
  • of 15. Don't record the ceremony. ...
  • of 15. Don't overshare on social media. ...
  • of 15. Don't steal the photographer's shot. ...
  • of 15. Don't wear white. ...
  • of 15. Don't bring an unexpected plus one. ...
  • of 15.
Mar 15, 2018

How do you handle a lopsided wedding guest list? ›

Torti suggests splitting the guest list evenly, with 50 percent of the available guest count going to the couple and 50 percent going to the parents. “This means each set of parents would be able to invite 25 percent of the guest list,” Torti explains.

What are the do's and don'ts at a wedding? ›

Here are 10 important dos and don't when it comes to wedding guest etiquette.
  • Don't: Assume You Can Bring a Plus-One. ...
  • Do: RSVP Before the Deadline. ...
  • Don't: Ignore the Dress Code. ...
  • Do: Read the Wedding Website. ...
  • Do: Be Punctual. ...
  • Don't: Take Photos During the Ceremony. ...
  • Do: Leave the Bride Alone.
  • Don't: Go Overboard on Drinks.
Jun 2, 2021

What are examples of faux pas? ›

Overindulging – Eating or drinking too much alcohol in a public setting would likely be seen as a faux pas. Rude or obscene gestures – Making rude or obscene gestures with your hands, arms, face, or any part of your body would be considered a faux pas.

What is etiquette faux pas? ›

noun, plural faux pas [foh pahz; French foh pah]. a slip or blunder in etiquette, manners, or conduct; an embarrassing social blunder or indiscretion.

What colors should guests avoid at a wedding? ›

Here are the colours that are off limits for wedding guest attire.
  • Any shade of white. OK, this is probably pretty obvious, but you really can't wear white to a wedding. ...
  • Gold (and other metallics) ...
  • Light pastels. ...
  • Neon. ...
  • The colour the bridesmaids are wearing.
Aug 16, 2019

What do wedding guests really care about? ›

This is probably not too surprising—62 percent of wedding guests said that food is one of the most important things they pay attention to at weddings. That's why you'll probably spend about half of your budget on your catering and venue—because the last thing you want is hangry guests.

What is the plus one rule at a wedding? ›

1. Married, Engaged and Cohabitating Guests Traditionally Receive a Plus-One. As a rule of thumb, Amber Harrison, the head of weddings at Shutterfly, says only married, engaged, and “serious” couples (say, they're living together or have been together for a year or more) receive a plus-one.

How do you avoid plus ones at a wedding? ›

Write your guest(s) names on the reply card yourself, leaving no room for them to add anyone else. 2. Add a section saying “We have reserved __ seat(s) in your honour”, and fill in this gap with the number of people you're inviting.

What not to talk about at a wedding? ›

Don't talk too much about yourself.

This isn't the time to tell everyone your life story, starting at the time of conception. I know, it's fascinating stuff, but people are here to celebrate the bride and groom, not you, so keep the focus on the two people who count.

What is the most important role in a wedding? ›

Officiant. This is perhaps the most important role in the wedding since they're in charge of helping you say “I do.” Today, anyone can become a registered officiant online so this role can be filled by a close friend or family member rather than an ordained minister or judge.

What faux pas do you find socially unacceptable? ›

8 most common cultural faux pas to avoid
  • Don't order a cappuccino after 10am in Italy. ...
  • Lay off public displays of affection in the UAE. ...
  • Always cover up when visiting a religious site. ...
  • Lay your chopsticks flat in Asia. ...
  • Always tip in the USA. ...
  • Do not mock Buddha. ...
  • Know your left from your right hand in India.
Feb 18, 2020

What is a major faux pas? ›

: a significant or embarrassing error or mistake : blunder. Long, hot soaks in winter are a classic faux pas, since exposure to extreme heat after having been in the cold can cause small visible blood vessels to appear at the skin's surface.

What are some cultural faux pas? ›

A cultural faux-pas is doing something offensive to another person's culture on accident. Famous examples include eating with one's left hand in India, being too familiar with Japanese or German businessmen, or not finishing a meal made by someone from the Guangdong province of China.

How do you handle faux pas? ›

How to Recover from a Cultural Faux Pas
  1. Ditch your obsession with performance. To start, reframe how you approach making mistakes, and accept them as inevitable side effects of working across cultures. ...
  2. Equip yourself with knowledge. ...
  3. When you make a mistake, keep your cool. ...
  4. Engage in self-reflection. ...
  5. Get feedback.
Apr 12, 2018

Is faux pas an offense? ›

But what is a faux pas? A faux pas is a slip in etiquette or a social blunder (in a conversation or in an action) that causes offense embarrassment. In French, faux pas translates to a false step.

Do you commit a faux pas? ›

Faux pas literally means "false step" in French, and that's a great description of what you do when you make a faux pas. It's a matter of stepping in the wrong direction, or saying exactly the wrong thing. A faux pas can offend people sometimes, but more often it's just embarrassing for everyone involved.

What color is unlucky on a wedding? ›

The tradition of brides wearing white didn't start until Queen Victoria, but an old nursery rhyme says red, yellow, green, pink, grey and black will bring negativity to the marriage. Specifically, red will make you "wish you were dead."

What is the least common wedding color? ›

Burgundy, green and light blue followed in terms of popularity, respectively. The least popular wedding color in 2021 was bronze, according to our data. Just 3% of couples reported using this unique color for their nuptials.

Why can't you wear pink to a wedding? ›

Is pink appropriate for a wedding?” There's no rule here, but it depends on the shade of pink. While dark pinks and light reds are appropriate, blush and other shades of light pink have a chance of looking too similar to the bridesmaids, or getting washed out and looking white in photos.

What is biggest wedding regret? ›

10 Biggest Regrets Brides Have on Their Wedding Days
  • Not retouching your makeup. Oil absorbing sheets are a bride's best friend. ...
  • Making guests wait at the reception on an empty stomach. ...
  • Cash bar. ...
  • Not hiring a professional photographer. ...
  • Trashing your dress. ...
  • Drinking too much. ...
  • Not hiring a videographer. ...
  • Not eating.
Feb 3, 2022

Is it rude to not give wedding favors? ›

Are Wedding Favors Necessary? Technically, no—you are not required to give out favors at your wedding reception.

How do wedding guests look gorgeous? ›

Attending a Wedding? Here's How to Look Classy As A Guest
  1. Wearing fine gold jewelry.
  2. Choosing the right colour palette.
  3. Finding the right dress.
  4. Wearing the right shoes.
  5. Men should wear a fitted suit.
  6. Avoid denim.
  7. Accessorizing your outfit.
  8. Don't dress like a bridesmaid.
Jul 23, 2022

What month is unlucky for weddings? ›

The belief that July is an unlucky month for weddings is a superstition that has endured for generations. It's origins can be traced to several old, anonymous rhymes that warn couples married in July of everything from bitter-sweet memories to laboring for daily bread!

What is the day before your wedding called? ›

The rehearsal dinner usually takes place the night before the wedding. However, some couples decide to have the rehearsal dinner two nights before the wedding to give family and friends a chance to recuperate before the big day. The rehearsal dinner is a chance for families to spend time together in a relaxed setting.

Do plus-ones bring wedding gift? ›

While plus-ones don't necessarily to have to bring their own gift to the wedding, Leahy says it's gracious for you to contribute to the present the attending guest will be giving.

Who pays for the plus one at a wedding? ›

In the world of unattached singles, the person who receives the plus-one wedding invitation generally pays travel and lodging costs of the person he or she invites as a date, and selects and pays for the wedding gift as well.

Is it rude to not invite plus one to wedding? ›

Choosing not to invite any long-term partners can be seen as an etiquette faux pas, so keep this in mind as you begin creating your wedding guest list. It's also considered common courtesy to extend a plus-one to any members of your wedding party.

How to tell someone you can t go to their wedding last minute? ›

“You may want to make a phone call or send an email ahead of your written decline with more details as to why you are not attending,” said Meier. Express your disappointment, and let them know you care and wish them so much happiness. If feasible, send a little gift (flowers are perfect) with your RSVP card.

How do you let guests know they have a plus one? ›

When addressing the outside envelope, write the guest's first and last name while not adding “and guest”. This allows the guest who is invited to understand the invitation is directed towards them. Once they open the card, they will be able to see the “plus one”. The "and guest" does not need to be on the envelope.

Is it still faux pas to wear white to a wedding? ›

Never! "The bride may or may not wear white (maybe ivory, maybe champagne) but it's her color for that day. You don't want to be mistaken for the bride in a white or lace gown," Brandi Hamerstone, owner and wedding planner at All Events Planned, says.

Is wearing white to a wedding a faux pas? ›

In general, it's not appropriate for guests to wear white to a wedding. "When you're a guest at a wedding, the most important thing to keep in mind is not to upstage or upset the bride," says wedding dress designer Madeline Gardner. "It's safe to stay away from any outfits that are predominantly white, cream or ivory."

Is wearing red to a wedding a faux pas? ›

As a result, it is largely no longer considered a faux pas to wear red to most Western and secular weddings.

What color is inappropriate for a wedding? ›

Traditionally, the only off-limits color for wedding guests has been white, for obvious reasons—no one wants to take attention away from the bride. But times are a-changin'. Now, many people simply don't see wearing white as a big deal. Some brides and grooms are totally cool with it.

What colors are you not supposed to wear to a wedding? ›

Here are the colours that are off limits for wedding guest attire.
  • Any shade of white. OK, this is probably pretty obvious, but you really can't wear white to a wedding. ...
  • Gold (and other metallics) ...
  • Light pastels. ...
  • Neon. ...
  • The colour the bridesmaids are wearing.
Aug 16, 2019

Can I wear a sparkly dress to a wedding? ›

Glitter, Glitter, Glitter Everywhere

Avoid wearing anything too shimmery or distracting. All eyes should be on the bride, and your disco-ball-looking dress may ruin her big moment to shine.

Is black OK to wear to a wedding? ›

Can You Wear Black to a Wedding? Generally, wearing black to a wedding is appropriate. "Guests can absolutely wear black to a wedding," says Shawne Jacobs, President and Creative Director of Anne Barge. "In the past, black was a color typically worn for mourning.

Is wearing black to a wedding a faux pas? ›

"There's a huge misconception that wearing black to a wedding is still a faux pas, but that's not the case. Black is perfectly appropriate for a wedding guest."

Can you wear a cream floral dress to a wedding? ›

Is it OK to wear a cream floral dress to a wedding? Yes, a floral dress with a white background is completely fine & acceptable. With the caveat that the dress is appropriate for the season, time of day & formality of the particular wedding. Just please don't wear a solid white or solid light cream or pale ivory dress.

What are the 5 types of cultural appropriation? ›

According to Rodgers (2006) there are four types of cultural appropriation: exchange, dominance, exploitation, and transculturation.

What are examples of cultural incompetence? ›

Here are 8 signs that you may be culturally INcompetent.
  • You're not open to change. ...
  • You don't respect differences. ...
  • You pretend that no differences — or biases — exist. ...
  • You make (negative) assumptions. ...
  • You don't do your research. ...
  • You don't ask questions. ...
  • You ask others to compromise their beliefs.

What blacks should not wear to a wedding? ›

As a general rule, "wearing black is totally acceptable, as the hue is very versatile," Sabatino affirms. However, you should avoid wearing white unless you are told otherwise. That shade, she says, is reserved exclusively for the bride.

What is inappropriate wedding? ›

Steer Clear of Anything Too Casual

No one wants to quit their coziest clothing like yoga pants, slippers, and jeans. But these have no place at a wedding. Even if a wedding is casual and relaxed, still dress with respect. No flip, flops, shorts, or jeans should be on your list of options to wear.

Does faux pas wear same color as bridesmaids? ›

Lizzie Post, host of the podcast Awesome Etiquette from the Emily Post Institute, says that no guest should ever feel embarrassed if they happen to wear the same color as the bridesmaids, but they can ask in advance what the colors will be if they're concerned about it.

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