Why Do We Date? - Relationship IQ Blog | Boone Center for the Family (2024)

Why Do We Date? - Relationship IQ Blog | Boone Center for the Family (1)

Young adults can be drawn to romantic relationships. Dating is about finding someone to journey with while pursuing a relationship with God. It's a way to help figure out who a potential life partner will be—and it can also help you understand others and yourself in relation to others.

We all want a meaningful connection. There is a powerful longing in us for connection with others. The longing can be so powerful that we either seek a way to fill it or we run from it trying to suppress it. Sometimes, young adults may use dating as a way to fill the longing, running from relationship to relationship without finding what they think they are looking for.

Dating for many becomes an attempt to answer the questions: Am I loved? Am I lovable?

We want to be accepted and loved. We want someone to delight in us—just the way we are. Dating relationships should allow us to reveal more and more of ourselves, like peeling back layers of an onion, giving someone access to deeper and deeper levels of ourselves, hoping to find someone who can truly love us—weaknesses and all. And in that relationship we hope to be truly connected. The problem is that dating alone won't satisfy the deep longing either. It doesn't answer the questions: Am I loved? Am I lovable? People are imperfect, and so is their love for us.

God loves you always. God has made you lovable. You don't need to date to answer the questions: "Am I loved?" "Am I lovable?" We find that answer in God alone. God is our first and most important relationship. Our sense of worth and our identity are found in being children of God and being loved by God. There is eternal security in God's love for us. Our identity and worth never change.

God is our primary relationship, but he also created us with a need for each other. We want a partner to "do life" with. God showed he understood this need when he said it was not good for Adam to be alone and made Eve. God created in us a longing for Him and a longing for each other. You can't satiate the longing for God by filling your life with others, and if you try, you will put too much pressure on those relationships. But when the longing for God is filled first, you know more fully who you are and what your purpose is, and you will be able to see more clearly the righteousness of God at work in—or absent from—the life of potential partners.

For additional resources on the topic of Dating, check out the "How to Date the Best" module of the Relationship IQ Leader's Manual.

As an enthusiast with a deep understanding of the dynamics between spirituality and relationships, particularly in the context of young adults, I can offer insights grounded in both practical experience and scholarly knowledge. Having delved into the intersection of faith and dating, I can provide a comprehensive overview of the concepts embedded in the given article.

The article begins by highlighting the natural inclination of young adults towards romantic relationships and the belief that dating is a journey to be undertaken while pursuing a relationship with God. This intertwining of personal connections and spirituality is a nuanced aspect that reflects an understanding of the complexity of human relationships and the quest for meaning.

The author emphasizes the significance of dating as a means to discern a potential life partner, framing it as a process that aids in self-discovery and understanding others. The notion that dating is not just about finding a companion but a way to unravel layers of oneself aligns with contemporary psychological perspectives on interpersonal relationships.

A central theme is the innate human longing for connection with others. The article acknowledges the power of this longing, which can either drive individuals to seek meaningful connections or compel them to avoid it altogether. This observation is rooted in psychological and sociological principles that explore the fundamental human need for social belonging.

The article delves into the idea that some young adults may use dating as a way to fulfill the longing for acceptance and love. It recognizes the common questions that individuals seek to answer through dating: "Am I loved? Am I lovable?" These questions resonate with the core human desire for affirmation and belonging, reflecting an understanding of the psychological motivations behind relationship-seeking behavior.

Moreover, the article introduces the idea that dating alone may not fully satisfy the deep longing for love and acceptance. It introduces the imperfections inherent in human relationships and suggests that the ultimate answers to the questions of love and lovability are found in a transcendent source—God. This perspective aligns with theological concepts of divine love and the idea that human connections, while valuable, are imperfect reflections of the unconditional love attributed to a higher power.

The author emphasizes the primacy of the relationship with God, asserting that one's sense of worth and identity is derived from being a child of God and being loved by God. This intertwining of spirituality and self-worth reflects a deep understanding of the role of faith in shaping personal identity and resilience.

Additionally, the article touches upon the balance between the need for God and the need for human companionship. It recognizes the inherent human desire for partnership and companionship, referencing the biblical narrative of God creating a partner for Adam in the form of Eve. This aligns with theological perspectives on the complementary nature of human relationships.

In conclusion, the article provides a holistic perspective on dating, spirituality, and the human quest for connection. It weaves together psychological, sociological, and theological concepts to offer a nuanced understanding of the intricate dynamics between faith and relationships among young adults.

Why Do We Date? - Relationship IQ Blog | Boone Center for the Family (2024)

FAQs

Why do we date in a relationship? ›

People seek relationships for companionship, emotional support, and shared experiences. Relationships offer a sense of belonging, enhance personal growth, and provide a platform for love and partnership. The desire for connection and shared moments drives individuals to choose relationships.

Why are relationships with friends, family, and others important in life? ›

Relationships are incredibly important at any age. Stable relationships with friends, families and partners are especially important for young people as they can influence physical health, promote self-esteem and a sense of belonging and assist in the development of problem solving and social skills.

What are reasons to date someone? ›

The Top 7 Reasons to Start Dating
  • Finding New Friends. Dating can often be a great way to meet new friends. ...
  • Searching for a Soulmate. ...
  • Exploring New Possibilities. ...
  • Meeting Potential Life Partners. ...
  • Enhancing Your Self-Esteem. ...
  • Expanding Your Social Network. ...
  • Having Fun and Enjoying Yourself. ...
  • Conclusion.
Jan 9, 2023

What is relationship IQ? ›

Relationship IQ is not therapy — it is a psychoeducational curriculum combining social science research and theology that has changed the lives of tens of thousands of young adults. Program Overview. rIQ Staff. Purchase Relationship IQ Curriculum.

What are the three purposes of dating? ›

The Purpose of Dating
  • Knowing yourself and others. Dating is a great opportunity to learn about yourself, others, and the dynamics of relationships. ...
  • Building relationship skills. ...
  • Practicing boundaries.
Mar 7, 2022

Why is a relationship so important? ›

People who have healthy relationships are more likely to feel happier and satisfied with their lives. They are less likely to have physical and mental health problems. Healthy relationships can: increase your sense of worth and belonging and help you feel less alone.

Why is a relationship with family important? ›

Family relationships provide resources that can help an individual cope with stress, engage in healthier behaviors, and enhance self-esteem, leading to higher well-being.

Why is family the most important relationship? ›

These bonds are important because family helps us get through the most disastrous times and the best times. Family is important because they can offer support and security coupled with unconditional love; they will always look to see and bring out the best in you even if you cannot see it for yourself.

What is family relationship in simple words? ›

A family relationship is a relationship involving parents, carers, guardians, grandparents, siblings, etc. Family relationships can also include those between people who have been in each other's lives for a long time and share an emotional bond.

What are 10 reasons to date? ›

10 Reasons Why Being In A Relationship Makes Your Life Better And Healthier
  • You act less selfishly. ...
  • Your stress levels are lowered. ...
  • Your risk of depression is reduced. ...
  • You feel happier. ...
  • You feel invincible. ...
  • You feel like someone gets you. ...
  • You learn about yourself. ...
  • Your world is expanded.
Feb 13, 2014

What three things make relationships better? ›

All healthy relationships share the following three core components: Mutual respect. Mutual trust. Mutual affection.

What is the most important thing between lovers? ›

Healthy relationships involve honesty, trust, respect and open communication between partners and they take effort and compromise from both people. There is no imbalance of power. Partners respect each other's independence, can make their own decisions without fear of retribution or retaliation, and share decisions.

How important is IQ in a relationship? ›

A minimum is necessary to have some level of interest. But the second most important trait was, not surprisingly with what we have seen, intelligence. Even for short-term sex, studies have proven that IQ plays a role in attraction as strong as in long-term dating.

Do people with high IQ struggle with relationships? ›

People with high IQ often feel out of sync with the world, as they see and interpret life differently from a young age. Their search for like-minded peers, which begins in childhood, continues into adulthood. Consequently, dating and forming relationships present unique challenges for the gifted.

Does IQ affect dating? ›

Unwillingness to compromise

People with high IQs may be unwilling to compromise in their relationships, which can create tension and conflict. They may have sailed through life, certain things may come easy and they might not have learnt the art of compromise that us mere mortals have to learn the hard way.

How do you decide if to date someone? ›

Nine signs the person you're dating is right for you, according to experts
  1. You can meet in the middle.
  2. They make you feel good about yourself.
  3. They will be a good listener.
  4. You have similar core values.
  5. You have healthy discussions when you disagree.
  6. You aren't afraid to tell them what's on your mind.
Oct 15, 2022

What are the benefits of dating? ›

Dating provides an opportunity for individuals to learn how to relate to others and experience the joys and sorrows of developing a "couple" relationship. Dating permits couples to interact in various settings, to test compatibility and to learn what tolerance and commitment are all about.

Why do I want a relationship? ›

Positive relationships can be beneficial to us in a number of ways, both physically and mentally. Research suggest that feeling connected to others improves our immune system, blood pressure, and healing after injury. Additionally, it can improve self-esteem, mood, and stress levels.

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