It seems like nowadays, people will find just about any and every reason to police women’s self expression in almostevery form on social media. From makeup, to music, to clothing, to Snapchat filters, someone always has something to say about why that makes you a “basic bitch” (and don’t even get me STARTED on that phrase). So here are a few examples and explanations about why that sucks, and why you should just leave people alone to love themselves.
“You look so much better without makeup!”
In recent years, makeup tutorials on YouTube and Instagram have blown up all over the internet and more and more women are learning how to really kill their makeup in just a few easy steps. But of course, these types of comments run rampant no matter which social media outlet you use. This is harmful and invalidating for a few reasons, but let’s just start with the most obvious. You have zero agency to assess anyone’s appearance and comment on it. Ever.
This is not a compliment, it’s a cleverly worded insult. If a full face of makeup is what makes someone feel the most comfortable in their appearance, then great. But, comments like “You look so much better without makeup” implies that even when they’re feeling their best, it’s still not good enough for the viewer. Now there are obviously some issues with receiving validation from an online audience that need to be addressed here, butthe moral of the story is: if someone is comfortable in their appearance for any reason, leave it. Just leave them alone. Simple as that.
“Only hoes use that snapchat filter”
I genuinely don’t even know what this is supposed to mean, truly. I’m perplexed. All I can really understand from this statement is that people have stooped low enough to 1. Think it’s okay to call women hoes 2. Equate a person’s worth with a Snapchat filter.
A Snapchat filter. Think about that.
“She’s wearing a ____ shirt and she doesn’t even ____”
Whether its a Thrasher or Rolling Stones tee, it doesn’t matter. At all. It’s a shirt. Next.
“Oh yeah, you like ____? Name three of their albums”
RE: Previous heading. It’s not against the law to casually enjoy a song. In fact, people do it quite often. Again, it literally doesn’t matter at all.
“Take her swimming on the first date”
First off, anyone who actually thinks that people who wear makeup are trying to “fool” you is an idiot. I don’t want anyone to think my lips are naturally purple. If you do, I don’t know what to tell you. This also refers back to the initial comment and the continuous and harmful cycle of equating the worth of a person with their appearance. You don’t think someone is worthy enough to date until you make sure their still “hot” without makeup? Bye.
“Real women have curves”
I don’t really know which problematic aspect to touch on first, actually. Not only is this extremely body shame-y, it’s also incredibly transphobic. “Real women” if women are women if they identify as such. End of story.
Now of all the harmful stereotypes and generalizations that exist about women and are perpetuated, I understand that these comments are very minor on a scale of oppressive behavior. But, this is where it starts, by making it acceptable and even trendy to judge and humiliate women online for enjoying themselves. So please, let me enjoy my puppy filter in peace and f*ck off.
