10 signs someone is a keeper from the first date (2024)

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1. You feel like you can be your honest self.

Being comfortable around someone you don't know very well can be tough. So, if you can be yourself on that first date, it's a really good indication that things might go well if you continue to date or start something more serious, Amica Graber, a relationship and dating expert and blogger for Dialed In, told INSIDER.

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2. You know what you're looking for, and they meet those standards.

If you don't know what you want out of a partner, it can be more difficult for you to decide if the person you're dating could be a good one. It's important to ask yourself why you're dating— and if you're dating with the hopes of meeting a long-term partner,

"So it's really doing the inner work and looking at like where are you with you and in that regard, all of the things that you want for your life now, you'll be able to ascertain whether or not that person sitting across from you from a coffee or co*cktail or whatever is 'it',"Lisa Concepcion, dating and relationship expert, and founder of LoveQuest coaching, told INSIDER.

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3. You get the impression that they're really happy with their life.

"This is not to be confused with uninterested in a relationship, but there is a balance between having a rich life already and wanting to create something great with you," Melissa Hudson, Ph.D. (c), LMFT, a licensed marriage, and family therapist, told INSIDER. "The best relationships are two people who choose each other, and want each other, not who need each other."

If your date seems happy with their life, your future relationship won't be pressured to be the sole source of their happiness, which can make things difficult and potentially lead to an unhealthy relationship.

4. They seem genuinely interested in you and your life.

A good date "wants to hear about what matters to you and shows an interest in what you have to say," Hudson told INSIDER.

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5. They treat everyone kindly.

If your date is just kind and polite to others, whether it's a passerby or a server, it'sa good sign that they could be a good partner down the road. Itsays something about their character, Garber told INSIDER.

If they're rude, dismissive, or otherwise disrespectful to others, it could be a sign that they wouldn't be a respectful partner.

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6. Communication goes pretty well.

"It is natural to feel nervous on the first date," Emily Mendez, MS, EdS, a mental health expert and writer, told INSIDER. "So, communication may be a little awkward at first. However, by the end of the first date, there should be mutual back and forth conversation."

Communication is important in any relationship, so if the conversation is flowing on the first date, it's worth noting.

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7. They avoid playing games from the start.

It can be as simple as sending a text to make sure you got home okay instead of waiting a few days before texting you.

"Someone else might decide to play the waiting game ... waiting three days before hitting you up with a monosyllabic late-night text. But a real catch won't play games — they will care about your safety by finding out if you got home OK," Garbert told INSIDER.

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8. They clearly respect your needs, boundaries, and values.

Respect is an important part of any relationship, so seeing that they respect you on the first date is a positive sign.

"If you tell the person that you are a vegan and they suggest a restaurant based on this information, this is a very good sign," Mendez told INSIDER. "It shows that they listened to you and took your wishes into consideration."

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9. They've been a good partner, friend, or family member in the past.

While you might not talk extensively about you or your date's exes on a first date, you might get the sense that your date currently or has previously had some close relationships.

Whether they're romantic, friendly, or familial, if yourdate has had serious relationships in the past it could potentially be an indicator that they'll be a good partner to you, later on, Hudson told INSIDER.

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10. They handle on-the-date obstacles with grace.

"A great partner will be able to handle small setbacks with grace," Garber told INSIDER. "If they fly into an apocalyptic rage over a tiny inconvenience, it's a bad omen for how they'll handle a real problem."

Seeing how your date handles small setbacks and inconveniences can give you insight into how they'd handle conflicts down the road.

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